Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
ETA: If you have to ask this question, then it is obviously he is not interested in pursuing you. He should be courting you and making you feel like you should choose him. Not the other way around.
No offence but if he just met her a month ago he shouldn't be "courting" her until they know each other better. A month isn't enough time to declare anything. Sure some people do but they break up and then what? I know it's been a long time since I dated (married 30 yrs but getting divorced now) but if I just met a guy I liked I wouldn't be declaring anything until I knew him for a couple months and got to know his friend/family and he mine. Until you reach a certain level of intimacy (and I don't mean sexually) and trust you can't do that with conviction.. Dating someone for a month is a good sign, not a sign to break up because he hasn't started naming the kids yet.
But here is the truth, if you feel worried about a relationship it's probably not going to last. When you worry more about things ending than you do enjoying the dating/getting to know you phase you prevent the natural progression of things. Basically, you blow it. Or your subconscious mind is telling you it's not right.
No offence but if he just met her a month ago he shouldn't be "courting" her until they know each other better. A month isn't enough time to declare anything. Sure some people do but they break up and then what? I know it's been a long time since I dated (married 30 yrs but getting divorced now) but if I just met a guy I liked I wouldn't be declaring anything until I knew him for a couple months and got to know his friend/family and he mine. Until you reach a certain level of intimacy (and I don't mean sexually) and trust you can't do that with conviction.. Dating someone for a month is a good sign, not a sign to break up because he hasn't started naming the kids yet.
But here is the truth, if you feel worried about a relationship it's probably not going to last. When you worry more about things ending than you do enjoying the dating/getting to know you phase you prevent the natural progression of things. Basically, you blow it. Or your subconscious mind is telling you it's not right.
Already repped your other reply in this discussion, but this is some sage advice. Particularly so for someone who is coming out of a 30-year marriage.
OP: Don't listen to all the people that tell you to move on. How can they POSSIBLY know his motivations without even knowing him. Everyone is different. If you enjoy his company and feel he is a good person at heart, then just try to enjoy the moment, communicate clearly, and keep a level head. You've got to kiss a lot of frogs, so don't overthink it when you meet a prince-frog.
Thank you Bmateo and Ceece, I wish that I would have taken that advice before I opened my stupid mouth and asked him that question.
We last spoke on Saturday and I sent him a text on Sunday, which he never responded to.. and still hasn't. We had talked about spending New Years Eve together, but since he chose to ignore my text the day before I decided that if he wanted to spend new years with me he could contact me - which he didn't. I regret being unsure about where we stand and I regret voicing that to him even more. New plan: Shut up and just go with it and whatever happens, happens.
And LBomb, to answer your question... I'm really not sure, and that gives me a new perspective on his answer. A little voice in my head is saying no, I'd have to get to know him better.. and a much louder voice in my head is now saying DUH, MORON
Thank you Bmateo and Ceece, I wish that I would have taken that advice before I opened my stupid mouth and asked him that question.
We last spoke on Saturday and I sent him a text on Sunday, which he never responded to.. and still hasn't. We had talked about spending New Years Eve together, but since he chose to ignore my text the day before I decided that if he wanted to spend new years with me he could contact me - which he didn't. I regret being unsure about where we stand and I regret voicing that to him even more. New plan: Shut up and just go with it and whatever happens, happens.
And LBomb, to answer your question... I'm really not sure, and that gives me a new perspective on his answer. A little voice in my head is saying no, I'd have to get to know him better.. and a much louder voice in my head is now saying DUH, MORON
Highlighted the important bits.
The loud voice in your head is the one to listen to. It's called "instinct" and you would be foolish to disregard it.
I suspect you've come on too strong, too quick and scared him away. These "men" are like frightened little bunnies.
He's just not that into you (apologies for the cliche but it's true).
Thank you Bmateo and Ceece, I wish that I would have taken that advice before I opened my stupid mouth and asked him that question.
We last spoke on Saturday and I sent him a text on Sunday, which he never responded to.. and still hasn't. We had talked about spending New Years Eve together, but since he chose to ignore my text the day before I decided that if he wanted to spend new years with me he could contact me - which he didn't. I regret being unsure about where we stand and I regret voicing that to him even more. New plan: Shut up and just go with it and whatever happens, happens.
And LBomb, to answer your question... I'm really not sure, and that gives me a new perspective on his answer. A little voice in my head is saying no, I'd have to get to know him better.. and a much louder voice in my head is now saying DUH, MORON
If the voice is louder, why listen to the whisper? Pick the logical answer.
Thank you Bmateo and Ceece, I wish that I would have taken that advice before I opened my stupid mouth and asked him that question.
We last spoke on Saturday and I sent him a text on Sunday, which he never responded to.. and still hasn't. We had talked about spending New Years Eve together, but since he chose to ignore my text the day before I decided that if he wanted to spend new years with me he could contact me - which he didn't. I regret being unsure about where we stand and I regret voicing that to him even more. New plan: Shut up and just go with it and whatever happens, happens.
And LBomb, to answer your question... I'm really not sure, and that gives me a new perspective on his answer. A little voice in my head is saying no, I'd have to get to know him better.. and a much louder voice in my head is now saying DUH, MORON
No its not you, it is him. An emotionally mature man wouldn't have been bothered by this question. He obviously was scared that you wanted more than he did, so he bailed. Its simple as that. If you are dating for a month with the consistency you guys had, it is only normal you ask yourself what's going on. He was looking for a relationship or not. You have your answer now.
I swear, some of these people could take some red paint to the barn door and paint "I'm just not that into you" on it in ginormous letters, and folks would still post on CD wondering if they're just too "busy" to call.
Clearly, he's not that into me. I'm not dense.
This is the first time he has ignored me and since being ignored I haven't contacted him.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
