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Most of them don't even look like they're marriage material anyways. If they can get a bunch of women and create a revolving door out of them sexually, why should they get married? IMO, these men today have figured out they don't have to put much effort into some of these women to get what they want at the end of the day -- so why bother doing the unnecessary.
Most of them don't even look like they're marriage material anyways. If they can get a bunch of women and create a revolving door out of them sexually, why should they get married? IMO, these men today have figured out they don't have to put much effort into some of these women to get what they want at the end of the day -- so why bother doing the unnecessary.
The same way women eat their way out of the dating pool. Right?
Most of them don't even look like they're marriage material anyways. If they can get a bunch of women and create a revolving door out of them sexually, why should they get married? IMO, these men today have figured out they don't have to put much effort into some of these women to get what they want at the end of the day -- so why bother doing the unnecessary.
There are probably 1,000 men in America today who want marriage. The rest figured out that it's a waste of time. Responsible men don't need a state-blessed relationship to pay the bills, take care of their children and other responsibilities.
They are stuck with someone that at first was on the same page, they made the mistake of living together and suddenly they become another ''forever live-in gf''.
I am a forever-live-in-bf and I don't care that I am. I am that guy who would prefer to be married with a woman who prefers not to be. Given that we're empty nesters plus the government incentivizes us to remain unmarried (we're both widowed and will be eligible for survivor's benefits from social security provided we're still single at age 60 or so), what's the point.
I identify my gf as my wife because it's easier to explain to random strangers and it's true in every way (including in between my ears) except the legal technicality. She gets to imagine that she's not that deep into the relationship and can easily end it whenever she feels a little claustrophobic, but the truth is beyond a certain point it's just as much of a PITA and emotional drain to disengage from any serious relationship regardless of what's on paper or not on paper. In some ways it's worse if it's unofficial because there's no framework to decide what explicit or implied commitments exist between the parties.
I think people make way too much of state-sanctioned marriage, which has the odd effect that even I would feel I "need" it if I were still of child-conceiving / raising age. I would not put the stigma of "illegitimacy" on any child. Still, it's mostly an illusion that relationships are less impermanent just because they're solemnized. If the love is gone and you stay together out of obligation, it's just a gilded cage anyway. It's much like the illusion that a "real" job is somehow more "secure" than a consulting / contracting gig. There is no such thing as employer loyalty (or employee loyalty, as a result) anymore. Similarly, the presence or absence of official marriage changes nothing about the loyalty, devotion and commitment in a person's heart, their motivations, etc.
So I guess we're 3 out of 1000 according to that genius ^three posts above. Don't you feel really special? Girls should be knocking down our doors to get to those few guys who'll put a ring on it.
Oh god don't be one of those single guys that NEVER wants to get married, but goes around calling his girlfriend "Wife". I've got a friend that does this, and people always say "OMG when did you guys get married" and then he has to say well we didn't and everybody feels stupid.
Oh god don't be one of those single guys that NEVER wants to get married, but goes around calling his girlfriend "Wife". I've got a friend that does this, and people always say "OMG when did you guys get married" and then he has to say well we didn't and everybody feels stupid.
I know right? If I wanted to call her "Wife" then I would marry her. She is my girlfriend or partner. That is it.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
26,700 posts, read 41,768,175 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mordant
I am a forever-live-in-bf and I don't care that I am. I am that guy who would prefer to be married with a woman who prefers not to be. Given that we're empty nesters plus the government incentivizes us to remain unmarried (we're both widowed and will be eligible for survivor's benefits from social security provided we're still single at age 60 or so), what's the point.
I identify my gf as my wife because it's easier to explain to random strangers and it's true in every way (including in between my ears) except the legal technicality. She gets to imagine that she's not that deep into the relationship and can easily end it whenever she feels a little claustrophobic, but the truth is beyond a certain point it's just as much of a PITA and emotional drain to disengage from any serious relationship regardless of what's on paper or not on paper. In some ways it's worse if it's unofficial because there's no framework to decide what explicit or implied commitments exist between the parties.
I think people make way too much of state-sanctioned marriage, which has the odd effect that even I would feel I "need" it if I were still of child-conceiving / raising age. I would not put the stigma of "illegitimacy" on any child. Still, it's mostly an illusion that relationships are less impermanent just because they're solemnized. If the love is gone and you stay together out of obligation, it's just a gilded cage anyway. It's much like the illusion that a "real" job is somehow more "secure" than a consulting / contracting gig. There is no such thing as employer loyalty (or employee loyalty, as a result) anymore. Similarly, the presence or absence of official marriage changes nothing about the loyalty, devotion and commitment in a person's heart, their motivations, etc.
The bolded text indicates one situation where living together in place of an official marriage makes a sense. I think it sucks that older folks are often placed in this position often and have to choose survival or making their love (legally) official.
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