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Some of these people just aren't going to get it. They don't see how his actions are hurtful to the kids. According to this poorly reported article, emphasis mine:
The girl has a point.
This is just so sad because the kids are suffering. And people don't question what they read or consider more than one point of view.
Camlon,
The mother is a cheating hobag. I never said nor implied any different. I bring up custody just because those are questions that I asked myself as I read the article. He was the adult. Whatever the kid' s actions, I expected better from him. "they abandoned me, so screw them." its not very mature when you consider the fact that we are talking about children.
The children are grown now, and he still hasn't said anything about trying to contact them. We don't know why. We don't know much of anything. For all we know, the new wife may have influence here.
Yes, I can argue against that: YOU ARE NOT HER. You can't speak for her and what was in her head at the time. Hello?
How do you know she wasn't using condoms? Or another form of birth control that may have failed?
Twice?! They got two kids. Also, you are not supposed to sleep with other men during marriage.
Quote:
How do you even know that she wasn't absolutely surprised with any pregnancy at all, because how do you know she wasn't on the Pill at the time and had a stomach virus or took antibiotics so that they didn't work?
You know what I think. She was either trying to be pregnant by another man.
Or she got pregnant by another man and then convinced her husband that she forgot the pill and got pregnant.
Both of those choices she would know the child is not his.
Officially, everything is like tradition demanded. A marriage, 2 kids. One day I amidst an argument I told him I know he would be better off without me and my brother. He didn't say a word to deny it so I suppose it's true.
Sometimes our parents just don't know how to deal with our anger and judgements. And sometimes they are just inadequate but have done the best they know how. If you are ever able to just let go of the hurts and except your dad for who he appears to be, you may be able to actually get to know who he really is. I'm working on this with my parents too.
Twice?! They got two kids. Also, you are not supposed to sleep with other men during marriage.
You know what I think. She was either trying to be pregnant by another man.
Or she got pregnant by another man and then convinced her husband that she forgot the pill and got pregnant.
Both of those choices she would know the child is not his.
Remember A Cry in the Dark, the movie about the woman who said the dingo took her baby?
She was tried in the press as well as in a courtroom. Everyone thought she murdered her kid because of what they read in the papers, long before the verdict came down.
And it turns out that a dingo really did take her baby. The verdict was later overturned.
So while you are perfectly entitled to have hunches and think this or that because of this one poorly written, blatantly editorialized, lopsided, Internet tabloid piece of journalistic trash, for which the only verifiable facts are that the kids are not the biological offspring of the man in question, when you get right down to it, none of us know what went on in that marriage, and we don't have her side of it. We also don't have the kids' side of it. All we have are the words of an angry man who was cheated on, who claims his wife said this and her daughter did that, and who chose biology over sentiment and revenge over the well-being of two innocent adolescents.
And now I'm off to listen to some music. Good night.
I don't have to understand how the father felt about the mother. Why is it so hard to understand that the children should not be punished because of her actions?
No, I don't understand how someone can walk away from children that they raised for years. I am glad that I can't understand that type of behavior.
People here are so hung up on what the mother did that they are ignoring the children.They aren't even a consideration. Sound familiar?
"Screw the kids?" They have been screwed enough, don't you think?
We can "what if" all day. The bottom line is that this man doesn't deserve children IMO, based on how he treated these kids. He can take his regret and stick it.
I wonder how his wife feels about his abandonment.
Every day children are punished for the actions of their parents. Parents get a divorce, children are punished by not having an intact family and losing their previous lifestyle. That's just one example. Nobody has to suck it up and live another persons lie as one of the gazillion things that must be done "for the children". That card is played more than the race card.
Yes, I can argue against that: YOU ARE NOT HER. You can't speak for her and what was in her head at the time. Hello?
How do you know she wasn't using condoms? Or another form of birth control that may have failed?
How do you know she didn't count the weeks backward from 40 when they were born and come to the conclusion the kids were her husband's?
How do you even know that she wasn't absolutely surprised with any pregnancy at all, because how do you know she wasn't on the Pill at the time and had a stomach virus or took antibiotics so that they didn't work?
I could have a field day with this because you weren't there. What she did or didn't suspect is all conjecture on your part.
Absolutely ridiculous..
So it's possible that: she uses old condoms, can't count, and had the flu and that's a 'possible' explanation as to why both of her children have 2 daddies and not one is her husband's? If it wasn't for bad luck, this woman would have no luck at all!!
No, I'm not her and I don't know what she was thinking and I really don't care. The fact is that she knew there was a possibility that those kids were not fathered by her husband and said nothing for years. That is what makes her worse than him because she is the one who caused this whole mess.
Every day children are punished for the actions of their parents. Parents get a divorce, children are punished by not having an intact family and losing their previous lifestyle. That's just one example. Nobody has to suck it up and live another persons lie as one of the gazillion things that must be done "for the children". That card is played more than the race card.
Please quote where I said anything about living another person's lie.
And just because something happens often doesn't make it right.
Sometimes our parents just don't know how to deal with our anger and judgements. And sometimes they are just inadequate but have done the best they know how. If you are ever able to just let go of the hurts and except your dad for who he appears to be, you may be able to actually get to know who he really is. I'm working on this with my parents too.
I don't want to know who he really is. It must be terrifying to know what kind of guy I got as a father. Besides, he's really happy he'll have nothing to do with us after the divorce. I've already deleted his number from my phone.
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