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It didn't start out as friends first, not at all. We slept together within several hours of meeting... which I never do!!! But somehow it was what we both needed.
I am just not good at relationships. I have had some that last for 5 or 6 years but looking back, I can see I was treated badly. The way I was raised has a lot to do with it, it's hard when you have been raised by a crazy stepfather who hates your existance and lets you know of that hate every day of your life. But finally the past few years I understood that I am a good person who has a lot to offer, and I don't let anyone take advantage of me anymore... Better late than never.
My boyfriend is everything I have ever wanted in a partner, except we are from very different cultures. We have so many interests in common its almost scary, and I love spending time with him more than anyone, but I wouldn't consider him my "best friend" mostly because I have only known him 9 months. But I know how good our relationship is, and how rare it is to find something like this. I am not sure that he does however, because he has not had many relationships at all, at least compared to me. I know for sure that he likes me about as much as I like him though... I do love him, but don't have that overwhelming feeling of being "in love" like I had in my previous relationship. I don't know that feelings like that are sustainable though. One thing I know for sure is that I want him in my life for as long as possible, he has improved it and made me feel valued and appreciated, and so very much more. And I want to be there to support him and do everything that I can for him.
The biggest part of my problem is that I know that he wants kids and the reality is that if we want to be together and go down that road, well I have only got a few years left for that. So we will have to have a serious talk/decision made pretty soon. The cultural issues are the main thing... so I guess before too long I will see if its working out or not.
No and like someone else mentioned, it ended in a bad way. It was the hardest of the breakups probably due to the fact that I had so much invested in them as a friend for so long. Another aspect to look at is, if it doesn't work out, when it's over, you've lost a close friend as well. Those are hard to come by.
I would think it would make a great start to a relationship.
You already know you have enough in common, due to the best friends part.
And sexual chemistry?
As long as niether person gets 'weird', then I assume things could go well.
But, sometimes we think we know someone, and then you reeeeeeaaaaaally get to know someone, and they are different than you realize.
My favorite ex was my best friend and an unbelievable lover (lost my voice more than once with him). But the relationship was not sustainable because he was utterly irresponsible and made poor choices. He was also a bad father to his kids - not abusive, just not very good at parenting and not interested in being better at it. He was better at it than HIS father (who ditched when he was 2), so he thought he was good enough. "Good enough" doesn't wash with me as far as parenting is concerned. Ultimately, we had mismatched values.
So I ended things. He remains the great love of my life so far, but I have no regrets about the decision I made roughly a decade ago. As far as I'm concerned, there needs to be a hell of a lot more than just being a best friend and lover.
Compared to worst enemy and great lover or best friend and worst lover?
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