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When I was online dating, I dated people who I didn't think would be my type. I figured I had nothing to lose but 30 minutes over coffee (I did not invest in weeks of e-mailing prior to meeting). You never know. Many people I met looked much better in person (I myself photograph horribly). If you're not attracted after meeting them or a date or 2, just tell them you don't think you're a match and move on. I do agree though your attitude might not be amenable for dating, if you feel the need to refer to people as "fatties" it doesn't sound like you're very open-minded or interested in much beyond the outer package.
You need to have an open mind and relax your standards a bit i agree. You mentioned you could stand to lose 20 or 30 Lbs, But are uncomfortable when the roles are reversed. Why?
While online dating from ages 40-42, I received a lot of attention being slim and fit in a sea of "fatties" as you put. You being overweight by 20-30 pounds (and I know that means it more likely 50 pounds since people underestimate) would make me delete your messages unanswered. The "fatties" who write you are your league. You are fat too. Lose weight, or make more money if you want to do better.
LOL!
I am a realist.
The scale this morning said 214 and I am 5' 10" and normal sized frame. I think 185 is a normal weight for being 5' 10". Do the math!
But when I get to 185 in 90 days what would you say?
The scale this morning said 214 and I am 5' 10" and normal sized frame. I think 185 is a normal weight for being 5' 10". Do the math!
But when I get to 185 in 90 days what would you say?
I need to see your pic to judge as I don't know what your bf% is. But from what you describe, and imagining the average bf % of people these days, you sound too fat for someone like me to date. Sorry to be harsh, but you are soliciting opinions. The "fatties" are your league, sorry. Lose fat, put on muscle, then maybe things will pick up for you.
The scale this morning said 214 and I am 5' 10" and normal sized frame. I think 185 is a normal weight for being 5' 10". Do the math!
But when I get to 185 in 90 days what would you say?
Lose the weight and your options will improve, especially online where it's all window shopping. But you sound like an average looking guy, so don't be too optimistic.
Internet dating for me is a waste of time, especially when it comes to trying to date younger women. Go for meeting people in person at various social activities with friends where you have a better chance to "break through" a woman's online screening criteria.
OP, not to dogpile, but I have to agree that the fatties are your league. I'm 5'10, and I looked chunky at 185. You'd start looking slim at 170 or so... so, you're carrying around about 45 extra lbs. I say give a fattie a chance.
I don't think anyone should "settle" for someone they aren't attracted to. You don't have the right to demand anything - but you do have the right to not date or have a relationship with someone you are not attracted to. I also think that anyone who would call other people "fatties" doesn't have the brightest dating future ahead of them.
At 185 you'd still be overweight unless you have a lot of muscle mass. You said you have a gut, so you don't have a lot of muscle mass.
Ongle hit the nail on the head...these girls that are messaging you ARE your league.
That's what I was thinking. 5'10 and 185 in shape would require weight lifting to get that heavy for someone of medium build.
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