Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
How do you make it through those first days after your spouse/SO has left? I'm talking about separation leading to divorce. My husband is leaving in two days. Any words of wisdom or tips?
How do you make it through those first days after your spouse/SO has left? I'm talking about separation leading to divorce. My husband is leaving in two days. Any words of wisdom or tips?
When my ex moved out, I walked around the apartment marveling at how beautifully, wonderfully clean and uncluttered it was. Then I watched what I wanted to watch, ate what I wanted to eat for dinner without cooking a dang thing, left the door open when I peed, used all the hot water when I showered, spread my clothes out throughout the closets, and slept diagonally on the bed, a nice, long sleep uninterrupted by his snoring or his deciding to come to bed three hours after me and thus wake me up.
If you can't get out. Clean. If you can afford it, make one carefully selected purchase to beautify your surroundings. Or cook a meal that you liked and he didn't (those exist even between the happiest couples). If you have friends that can, invite some over and avoid the "Oh, honey, you'll be okay" types. They have their purpose, just not at a social gathering.
If you're too emotionally fragile, do something kind for an elderly relative, friend, or neighbor. They sometimes appreciate someone who will non-judgmentally clean the top of the fridge, patiently dust their whole "Precious Moments" collection (use a paintbrush), or wash and rehang some curtains. All those things can be very difficult to do.
If you can't get out. Clean. If you can afford it, make one carefully selected purchase to beautify your surroundings. Or cook a meal that you liked and he didn't (those exist even between the happiest couples). If you have friends that can, invite some over and avoid the "Oh, honey, you'll be okay" types. They have their purpose, just not at a social gathering.
If you're too emotionally fragile, do something kind for an elderly relative, friend, or neighbor. They sometimes appreciate someone who will non-judgmentally clean the top of the fridge, patiently dust their whole "Precious Moments" collection (use a paintbrush), or wash and rehang some curtains. All those things can be very difficult to do.
bran is right, cook something,
a nice prime rib, or a pork roast, smell the house up nice
if you really need diversion, join a few games online- I was addicted to facebook scrabble for 2 yrs....
takes your mind off reality
Look after your basic bodily functions as best you can and it will be easier to cope. Eg eat and drink healthy and enough, get enough exercise, keep your mind active, get enough sleep.
FIRST: DO NOT stay in the home while he is in the process of actually moving out...if possible, go to a friend's house, or relative for as long as it takes him to get out. Looks like it might be more than one day?? Then stay with a trusted friend.
Just do not be there while he is loading up and moving out....that would be crushing.
You then do what your feel is right....walk around the home, cry a bit if you must....
certainly you must allow yourself some time for grieving. Maybe a day or two, maybe, longer.
Have something planned that you really enjoy. Order in something delicious...have a friend over if that would help, but I found I needed to be alone to absorb the huge change coming in my life.
Got pets? They can be a tremendous comfort.
Take good care of yourself physically...hot baths are relaxing.
Move things around, or get rid of items he liked but you hated. Sounds kinda silly but I went around throwing small items he had given me into the trash. ( )
At times I needed just mindless activity....watching tv or household chores.
Walking is a good therapy, nothing needed except your shoes. One of my first few days, I went walking in freshly fallen snow for several hours....
You WILL get through this....
Thinking of you~gbh
Quote:
Originally Posted by crankywithakeyboard
How do you make it through those first days after your spouse/SO has left? I'm talking about separation leading to divorce. My husband is leaving in two days. Any words of wisdom or tips?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
)
