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I was cruising POF once a couple years back and came across a white chick who in her profile claimed only to date black men. She didn't give any specific reason why (and I certainly didn't think she was obligated to).
However, strictly for fun, I sent her an email pleading for a chance, and I attached a link to a medical study showing little to no difference in penis size between the average white guy and the average black guy.
I thought I made it VERY clear that my email was simply in jest, but that was lost on her. She sent back about a two-page scathing response calling me racist, a-hole, chastising me for assuming her preference for black men had anything to do with sex, etc.
I didn't bother responding again, but I did find it amusing (and still do) the way someone can get so enraged by a comment from a complete stranger online.
I noticed that some woman have a habit of responding back to a guy when she is not interested when she can just delete his message and ignore him. I think most men become negative because a woman has went out of her way to reject him. If she never responds the guy would probably not even remember sending you a message since it's so many woman online.
So I would recommend not responding back to guys who you have no interest in chatting with when they send you a message. When I get a message from a woman who is not my type I simply ignore her and delete the message.
I don't care if someone uses a standard cut and paste response or just using the reject button in eHarmony or Match, they should still give some kind of response unless they are keeping someone for their "maybe" column.
I was cruising POF once a couple years back and came across a white chick who in her profile claimed only to date black men. She didn't give any specific reason why (and I certainly didn't think she was obligated to).
However, strictly for fun, I sent her an email pleading for a chance, and I attached a link to a medical study showing little to no difference in penis size between the average white guy and the average black guy.
I thought I made it VERY clear that my email was simply in jest, but that was lost on her. She sent back about a two-page scathing response calling me racist, a-hole, chastising me for assuming her preference for black men had anything to do with sex, etc.
I didn't bother responding again, but I did find it amusing (and still do) the way someone can get so enraged by a comment from a complete stranger online.
I put up a lame, boring profile and basically all I accomplished was getting lame, boring people to respond. I'm sure they are nice enough people, but probably not extroverted, animated and easily-amused enough to generate any kind of chemistry in that kind of a situation. No good matches.
I read a funny satirical piece on the internet and adopted a few things from the article to come up with a stock reply I considered funny. I sent it out a dozen or so times with better success.
Quote:
Hi! I’m huge in the pants, I bang hot chicks quite frequently, and I’ve only contracted an STD once.
Nah, not really. Just a nice guy seeking a best friend, girl next door, partner in crime ... ran out of cliches.
If you have the right qualities to be that girl, you will be richly rewarded with a lifetime of amusement and a guy most people think isn't so shabby.
I sent this to a 50-year old never married type (cute) and got back the same kind of scathing reply that you did about what a sick person I am, how abusive this note was and how I got reported to the moderators at Match. (Like they care about anything other than the validity of your credit card.) I replied back using my standard satirical line "Hurry up guys ... better grab this one while she's still available ... this one isn't going to stay single long" and then told her to lighten up.
I went one further and created a completely off-the-wall, irreverent profile. I even put it up for comments on POF and got a collective groan from everybody. The women were especially mortified. Ironically, I have been most successful generating interest and meeting the kind of people I'm compatible with personality wise with the profile everybody gave a thumbs down to.
I'm still scared that something so bold is going to attract the wrong people and scare off the right people, but so far I'm pleased with the results.
Bottom line is that you should be true to yourself and this is where I do buy PUA theory. If you naturally find something funny, dialing it down for fear of alienating others means you're constraining the real you from shining through and sabotaging your efforts. I agree it's a fine line sometimes, but generally this is true.
If I'm not interested I simply don't reply. It usually works out better that way. If I am interested, I'll message you or reply. If not, move on. I don't see a point of messaging them with "sry nothx. next?" If anything that'd just be taken as insulting. I think silence is your best letdown.
I agree. Just don't reply if you have no interest. That way you don't get into a correspondence situation and waste your time. Just don't reply to this person, maybe even block his email address.
I'd rather get a hurtful response then get no response at all, God I hate that sheet with a passion when woman do that.
What the hell is wrong with the simple response PM/email i've sent to ladies before I retired from the dating scene who I prefferred not to get involved with using this sort of simple, truthful, polite and honest response
"Thank you for your message and your interest in me but I however feel we would not work out together. Best of luck on your journey to find love"
I've had some pretty hefty set and not so good looking gals message me and I simply had no desire to become interested in them but I still wanted to be polite as I REALLY hate getting the silent treatment back from woman I've sent message to, i'd rather have SOMETHING then NOTHING in response so I tried to do the same. But maybe i've been doing it wrong *shrug*
I noticed that some woman have a habit of responding back to a guy when she is not interested when she can just delete his message and ignore him. I think most men become negative because a woman has went out of her way to reject him. If she never responds the guy would probably not even remember sending you a message since it's so many woman online.
So I would recommend not responding back to guys who you have no interest in chatting with when they send you a message. When I get a message from a woman who is not my type I simply ignore her and delete the message.
Maybe I am weird but I think I would prefer a thanks but no thanks. A couple of years ago I contacted this one guy who seemed to be like me in many ways and sent a long (ok not a book but long enough)message asking him about his profile and telling him about me. I sent it on a Monday, he looked Tuesday and deleted Wednesday. I wish he had just said no thanks and maybe said why.
I think the problem is with online many people think they can be rude. In my profiles I always state that I am not interested in dads. I do this because it has stopped many from contacting me. However I think if anything it has kept away the decent dads and made the nuts even angrier. I've gotten death threats, and several reported my profile to POF.
Maybe I am weird but I think I would prefer a thanks but no thanks. A couple of years ago I contacted this one guy who seemed to be like me in many ways and sent a long (ok not a book but long enough)message asking him about his profile and telling him about me. I sent it on a Monday, he looked Tuesday and deleted Wednesday. I wish he had just said no thanks and maybe said why.
I think the problem is with online many people think they can be rude. In my profiles I always state that I am not interested in dads. I do this because it has stopped many from contacting me. However I think if anything it has kept away the decent dads and made the nuts even angrier. I've gotten death threats, and several reported my profile to POF.
All you have to say is this:
"Thank you for you interest, but I'm sorry I don't think we're going to be a match. I'm really looking to date someone who is Catholic (or insert other adjective below) right now. You have a really great profile and I'm sure you'll find someone. Good luck!"
If you want to some extra emphasis, even if it's BS, you can add:
"I really need someone who is more quiet/talkative/athletic/homebody/outgoing/Catholic/Secular/ traditional/nontraditional, etc."
If you don't have the guts to send a rejection, don't complain that they still think there might be some hope and they still keep contacting you. Not everybody understands unspoken signals, especially guys.
Maybe I am weird but I think I would prefer a thanks but no thanks. A couple of years ago I contacted this one guy who seemed to be like me in many ways and sent a long (ok not a book but long enough)message asking him about his profile and telling him about me. I sent it on a Monday, he looked Tuesday and deleted Wednesday. I wish he had just said no thanks and maybe said why.
I think the problem is with online many people think they can be rude. In my profiles I always state that I am not interested in dads. I do this because it has stopped many from contacting me. However I think if anything it has kept away the decent dads and made the nuts even angrier. I've gotten death threats, and several reported my profile to POF.
I wouldn't even say it's so much being rude, it's just that messaging in general is in the favor of women. I can honestly say over the years I've messaged over 100 women. You know how many women have messaged me without me messaging them first? More than 3, but less than 10. Women can likely expect to get at least one message a day on average. Even if the message it not what you desire to hear, you still get one. The ability to frequently get messages that way dumbs down the notion that you even have to message a guy. It's the reason why women always talk about receiving messages from weird guys, but you hardly hear them talk about sending messages to guys first.
You ladies have the LUXURY of sitting back and waiting for a messge to arrive. Why go out and look for a guy online, when while you are reading one message someone else is sending you another one! It's also created this fallacy that women can be uber picky as well. When you don't have to do any work for something, you frankly don't value it. That has been my overall opinion with online dating. When you aren't equally putting in the work, than you have little value for the method.
It's pretty clear that the men are ultimately the one's putting out the work and really trying. Women can also live and die by the fact that the guy isn't attractive enough. It's not that the guy isn't attractive, but that he's not attractive enough. Enough is the key word. Clearly, when you get an average of one message a day, it creates the idea that you can continue to sit back till the more attractive guy comes along.
I'm not talking bad about women at all, but I've experienced women having to do very little work with online dating.
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