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Small update. Had a lengthy conversation with her last night... Said she lied because she is immature and was drinking (which in her words makes her act selfishly.) She claims nothing happened, remained faithful, even brought up the idea for this friend to call me to tell me everything is okay... not interested in doing this... he could be easily cover up for them both, plus my problem is with the lie period. I'm not really even focused on whether she cheated or not. Over the course of the conversation we both felt really sad about the situation..... after profusely saying she was sorry about what she had done. Eventually today it turned into her wanting me to get past this, saying what she had done was nothing terrible enough give up on such a good thing.
It's been a really depressing couple of days to be honest. I was really looking forward to her birthday (which was going to just be the 2 of us) and meeting more of her extended family this weekend... what are you going to do though. Just can't believe I was fool for putting so much trust in her.
Wanted to add that I am extremely thankful for the advice that I have received from everyone on here. It shows a lot when people are willing to take 10 minutes out of their lives to read everything and give a someone who is a complete stranger help.
There are the kinds of lies that you can get past - and then there are the kinds of lies that you can't. She's been lying about the kinds of things that are huge red flags - as opposed to the kind that you can forgive and forget. Her lying is indicative of her character - and it's not good. Good for you for seeing the red flags and heeding them.
Sorry to say, but this has all the signs of a cheater. I've been in your spot. Kick her to the curb. She'll beg and plead for you not to go but don't fall for it.
Small update. Had a lengthy conversation with her last night... Said she lied because she is immature and was drinking (which in her words makes her act selfishly.) She claims nothing happened, remained faithful, even brought up the idea for this friend to call me to tell me everything is okay... not interested in doing this... he could be easily cover up for them both, plus my problem is with the lie period. I'm not really even focused on whether she cheated or not. Over the course of the conversation we both felt really sad about the situation..... after profusely saying she was sorry about what she had done. Eventually today it turned into her wanting me to get past this, saying what she had done was nothing terrible enough give up on such a good thing.
It's been a really depressing couple of days to be honest. I was really looking forward to her birthday (which was going to just be the 2 of us) and meeting more of her extended family this weekend... what are you going to do though. Just can't believe I was fool for putting so much trust in her.
Wanted to add that I am extremely thankful for the advice that I have received from everyone on here. It shows a lot when people are willing to take 10 minutes out of their lives to read everything and give a someone who is a complete stranger help.
I hope that you find some way to heal quickly from this disappointment and hurt. I know what you are going through. It is very easy for someone who isn't involved to say, "Just dump your SO". It's quite different to have to do it when you love them.
Lies, deceit and omissions are hard to get over. IMHO, if I can't trust the other person, I can't love the other person. If the trust is broken, they have to make an effort and prove their trustworthiness.
We all have been through it. It sucks. The best thing I ever did after a long term relationship ended, I went out with friends. Met new girls, party, and just hung out. By doing those things, I didn't have time to sit around feeling sorry for myself. When the world sucks, being in the arms of another girl...just seems a little bit more comforting. LOL.
If she lied to you in the past, what makes you think she is telling you the truth now? God knows what else is out there that you haven't found out yet.
Cut ties, cut contacts, and just move on. Just go out with the guys and just have a blast! Best of luck to you!
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