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This chick has you p-whipped in a bad way. How do I know? Let's recap.
She makes plans with you for an extravagant night out, then several hours AFTER those plans are cemented, she throws out the bait to see if a better catch will bite.
It doesn't happen so she settles for you. You find out what she did, call her out on it, and her ANEMIC defense is that she did nothing wrong because the other dude never responded and she went out with you as planned.
Never mind that if the other guy had found your girl the least bit appealing, you would have been left at home jacking.
And you're actually considering buying what she's selling. That's why you're posting here.
There are only two correct courses of action from here. One is to dump this chick like diarrhea and never have any contact with her again. The other is to keep seeing her, but invest nothing in her and give her nothing from here on out except sex... and also make sure you're knocking down other chicks and keeping your options open. She obviously has been.
This chick has you p-whipped in a bad way. How do I know? Let's recap.
She makes plans with you for an extravagant night out, then several hours AFTER those plans are cemented, she throws out the bait to see if a better catch will bite.
It doesn't happen so she settles for you. You find out what she did, call her out on it, and her ANEMIC defense is that she did nothing wrong because the other dude never responded and she went out with you as planned.
Never mind that if the other guy had found your girl the least bit appealing, you would have been left at home jacking.
And you're actually considering buying what she's selling. That's why you're posting here.
There are only two correct courses of action from here. One is to dump this chick like diarrhea and never have any contact with her again. The other is to keep seeing her, but invest nothing in her and give her nothing from here on out except sex... and also make sure you're knocking down other chicks and keeping your options open. She obviously has been.
I can't endorse this enough. She is telling you how much she cares about you, without coming out and saying she doesn't want you around. She's doing all she can to move away from you, but she doesn't want to be alone, and no guy is taking the bait. That's enough for me to eff the ish out of her with some angry sex and then roll over and go to sleep. I would go ahead and cancel the romantic evening too, bcause you can better allocate that money on yourself or with friends.
I don't think I could handle being someone's back up plan for the night. Why would you want to be with someone who thinks so little of you? Would you not care if she was with another guy as long as it wasn't on a night you had plans with her? Sounds like a weird arrangement.
I would be extremely upset by that text although she didn't stand you up that was only because the other guy didn't reply!! I would have told her where to go!! You shouldn't have read the text but you should be glad you did, I would finish a relationship based on that.
I made a mistake and read a text message on a girl I have been seeing for three years, phone. We had made plans to spend the evening together at a hotel that night. Dinner, dancing, etc. While out that night, she asked me to use her phone to call a cab. I got nosy and looked at the text message screen while on hold. I came across a text message from her, to another guy. She sent it 3 hours after we had made plans, asking another guy to hang out that same night. I was VERY upset, still am. She says, she did nothing wrong because the other guy didn't respond and she didn't cancel on me....and that I am the only one at fault here, for being nosy. I feel like it WAS a mistake to look at the message, however am still very hurt that she was TRYING to stand me up. Am I wrong for being upset????
I was at a coffee place the other day visiting with a friend and I saw this exact thing. The girl got up to go get some food or something and left all her stuff there and the guy grabbed her phone. He started going through it. When she got back I could see she knew he was going to be mad.
For the next few minutes she looked as though she was trying to explain herself as he sat with a really stern look at her. Then he got up took a sip of water and left. Never said anything.
I thought, she ought to have grabbed her phone out of his hand and said, "Keep your snooping hands off my phone!!" Instead she let him drill her with questions. How lame. Stand up for yourself and set the boundaries you want.
If you found something on her phone that you don't like then stay out of her phone. It's not like you are married to her!! Trust is everything you know. You had no business being in her phone like that. Respect her things!
This chick has you p-whipped in a bad way. How do I know? Let's recap.
She makes plans with you for an extravagant night out, then several hours AFTER those plans are cemented, she throws out the bait to see if a better catch will bite.
It doesn't happen so she settles for you. You find out what she did, call her out on it, and her ANEMIC defense is that she did nothing wrong because the other dude never responded and she went out with you as planned.
Never mind that if the other guy had found your girl the least bit appealing, you would have been left at home jacking.
And you're actually considering buying what she's selling. That's why you're posting here.
There are only two correct courses of action from here. One is to dump this chick like diarrhea and never have any contact with her again. The other is to keep seeing her, but invest nothing in her and give her nothing from here on out except sex... and also make sure you're knocking down other chicks and keeping your options open. She obviously has been.
This chick has you p-whipped in a bad way. How do I know? Let's recap.
She makes plans with you for an extravagant night out, then several hours AFTER those plans are cemented, she throws out the bait to see if a better catch will bite.
It doesn't happen so she settles for you. You find out what she did, call her out on it, and her ANEMIC defense is that she did nothing wrong because the other dude never responded and she went out with you as planned.
Never mind that if the other guy had found your girl the least bit appealing, you would have been left at home jacking.
And you're actually considering buying what she's selling. That's why you're posting here.
There are only two correct courses of action from here. One is to dump this chick like diarrhea and never have any contact with her again. The other is to keep seeing her, but invest nothing in her and give her nothing from here on out except sex... and also make sure you're knocking down other chicks and keeping your options open. She obviously has been.
Nope. You're under the impression they're exclusive, OP stated they're not.
OP - this is exactly what you signed up for. What did you expect out of an open relationship?
She owes you absolutely nothing, because you agreed you weren't worth setting terms for.
Stop fooling yourself. If you want to be a priority, then you need to renegotiate the relationship. Pretending someone is your GF and making extravagant plans for them, is kind of foolish in my view.
All great advice. Thank you. I guess I just needed affirmation that I am not the only A-hole in the equation. We do have an 'open' relationship at this point....I guess I was just upset that she, after three years...thought so little of me and our plans that she would try to find a better plan 'a'.
We do have an open relationship at this point. Is this because of what happened? You originally said your gf then this girl I'm seeing. The status changes everything. Regardless I agree she has you whipped and this is never a good place to be unless it's mutual and stays this way. Leave and see if she looks for you. The dynamic will not shift until she thinks she can't have you anymore . . .
If they're not exclusive, I don't see that she did anything wrong. He, however, did, by invading her privacy.
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You had no business being in her phone like that. Respect her things!
