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I made a mistake and read a text message on a girl I have been seeing for three years, phone. We had made plans to spend the evening together at a hotel that night. Dinner, dancing, etc. While out that night, she asked me to use her phone to call a cab. I got nosy and looked at the text message screen while on hold. I came across a text message from her, to another guy. She sent it 3 hours after we had made plans, asking another guy to hang out that same night. I was VERY upset, still am. She says, she did nothing wrong because the other guy didn't respond and she didn't cancel on me....and that I am the only one at fault here, for being nosy. I feel like it WAS a mistake to look at the message, however am still very hurt that she was TRYING to stand me up. Am I wrong for being upset????
I don't think you're wrong for being upset, but after three years are you not exclusive? If you're not exclusive, perhaps she was hoping for someone "better" to replace the plans you two had.
walk away, go cold on her, start dating other women, and don't return her calls, text, etc. wait until she comes trying to chase you down to ask "whats wrong, why aren't you returning me calls??" you apparently are no longer her top priority and she doesn't believe she should treat your relationship with any respect beyond a friendship.
people don't usually realize what they have until they see what they are losing, or have lost. get lost if you want to do a power shift, if you can handle that. women are also pretty good at doing the guilt trip and you best move is to do a trap door on her to let her know she is replacable, effective immediately. If you beg, plead, or start acting needy to get her back, you end up losing, which includes your self-respect, and she will think of you as a loser for falling for her bullsh*t. good luck, and btw getting laid by another chick usually puts the heartbreak at bay for a while, so get laid as often as you can --which i promise you will work wonders on her female intuition
No, you're not wrong. She's your girlfriend and is seeing other men (dating). That's something to be upset about.
Considering her defensiveness, looks like you won't win by talking to her about this though. She's enjoying sliding around on the slippery slope, or worse, may truly feel like she's done nothing wrong. I'd just be done with her.
It was wrong to read her texts though but what's done is done.
You were being invasive reading the text. That is a reddish flag.
BUT, it sounds like you had good reason, as your 'gf' is seeing other guys behind your back.
She is playing you.
Again, you are being played.
If I were you, I would demand exclusively. But honestly, for me, my trust would be so broken, I would probably not trust her again.
It honestly sounds like you have no way of trusting, or knowing what she is doing when you arent around.
I mean, she is so bad, that she is creating plan 'B' for nights that you two have already made plans. Nice plans. Nothing will ever be good enough for this woman.
If this guy HAD responded, she probably would have cancelled on you. "I don't feel good." "I have a migraine."
And honestly, she has probably been doing this all along, and more than likely, she is sleeping with these guys.
Exit relationship to the right, and move on.
You seem more hung up on the fact that you read her texts, than her banging other guys. Respect yourself, or no woman will respect you. Your gf doesnt, that much is for sure. Kick her to the curb and find someone better.
I know how you feel about reading something that wasn't meant for you. I never snooped until I had a feeling and wasn't getting answers in my relationship. You didn't mention that you've had the same uneasy feelings, but you saw what you saw and it happened for a reason. Stop feeling guilty, because it appears that she's been lying to/deceiving you.
You have been seeing her for 3 years. You have every right to be upset. You have all that time invested. Trust is a very hard thing to repair. Having never had to fix it on my end, I'm not sure how she would go about it.
No such thing as being wrong for what you feel. I think what you came across , despite how you came across it says something about how this girl feels about you. You are planning a romantic date with someone who doesn't seem all that in to you. Fine if you just want sex, but if you have feelings, and I imagine you do after 3 years, for this lady, maybe you should consider meeting someone else who will better appreciate your romantic efforts. Consider it.
All great advice. Thank you. I guess I just needed affirmation that I am not the only A-hole in the equation. We do have an 'open' relationship at this point....I guess I was just upset that she, after three years...thought so little of me and our plans that she would try to find a better plan 'a'.
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