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Well, are you planning to meet that deadline or not? That would influence my answer. If you are, I see her side of it. Plan to get rid of it or budget for another car. If you're not, buy the car and do the decent thing and tell her you have no plan to get married.
Of course I am paying for it...she has no money to speak of, I make all the $$$ not her.
this would be what would disturb me if i were you, that she is already acting as if you are both equal contributors on purchasing decisions when clearly you are not. and assuming you're not a one car household, a sports car isn't *that* extravagant or impossible to live with as a parent
it's an automatic assumption, i'm 39 and she is 33, she has already said she wants me to propose before the 2 year mark otherwise she is not waiting around so I think the discussion about getting married has already been made from her end LOL! The fact that I haven't left already...well, it means I have upto 6 more months to make that decision!
Of course I am paying for it...she has no money to speak of, I make all the $$$ not her.
If a woman told me this I'd be on the brakes so fast her head would hit the windshield if she wasn't wearing a seatbelt.
Yeeeah this is a little premature of a threat unless she was already pregnant telling you this.
If this story has a happy ending and you two do make it down the aisle, wouldn't kids be at least 3-5 years away? That's plenty of time for you to enjoy your purchase made with your money.
Anyway, better enjoy it now because she'll definitely have her reasons to stop you in the future with a ring on her finger and bun in the oven.
well, to be fair - the "i'm not waiting around for you" talk is mainly because of her age, she wants to have kids and the whole biological clock thing etc. Kids can't be 3-5 years away, she is 33 already and she doesn't want to wait that long to have kids. After 35 it's tougher to have kids and increased risk.
Another thing is that I have a lot of money saved up and she has no money saved up but she has an expectation that I will use the money that I have saved up until now to pay for a $20,000-30,000 wedding and a honeymoon after that and also a downpayment on a house. On the other hand I want to get married in a courthouse for under $1000 and have maybe a $2000 max honeymoon...I don't believe in expensive showoff weddings etc. I have thus far kept quiet about all of this but I think it's time to communicate this but I feel that she will think I am a cheapskate.
I don't think there's anything wrong with a man OR a woman putting a limit on how long they are willing to wait for their partner to make up their mind about marriage.
Lots of women have kids between 35 and 45 and do just fine.
How do you feel about her? She seems a little uptight. The biological clock thing is mostly in the mind. Aside from this "ticking clock" thing, how do you two get along? What about common interests, values, personality compatibility, caring about each other?
well, to be fair - the "i'm not waiting around for you" talk is mainly because of her age, she wants to have kids and the whole biological clock thing etc. Kids can't be 3-5 years away, she is 33 already and she doesn't want to wait that long to have kids. After 35 it's tougher to have kids and increased risk.
Another thing is that I have a lot of money saved up and she has no money saved up but she has an expectation that I will use the money that I have saved up until now to pay for a $20,000-30,000 wedding and a honeymoon after that and also a downpayment on a house. On the other hand I want to get married in a courthouse for under $1000 and have maybe a $2000 max honeymoon...I don't believe in expensive showoff weddings etc. I have thus far kept quiet about all of this but I think it's time to communicate this but I feel that she will think I am a cheapskate.
So you'll just continue to let her construct beliefs about you until she forces the issue with a state-of-the-union talk as it relates to her deadline or your conscience gets the better of you, at which time you will come forth with the ideas and parts of yourself you kept hidden for the last year and a half.
You do know that you run a very high risk of coming out of such a situation looking like a douchebag who knew what he wanted all along and just hung around as long as he was getting laid, right?
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The fact that I haven't left already...well, it means I have upto 6 more months to make that decision!
