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I haven't thought about it yet. I still have one more year left. I want something that doesn't have too much math esp formulas. I hate math.
No, I haven't.
Not yet.
I plan on getting it on December.
What I was trying to say in my post was that you shouldn't waste your time and energy on something(bf's mom)that really is not going to have a lasting impact on your life(think big picture)...but concern yourself with those things that will matter in your life say 5 yrs from now...you should have taken the PSAT in junior year and be studying for the SAT in the fall...you don't have to be a whiz in math to be college material...there are many careers that don't involve math...Mom's like to see their children dating people that have things going for them...such as ambition and goals...if you have those traits most(not all) parents will love you!!
I know that's not how to solve an argument but I couldn't think straight in that moment. I admit the first time was me getting upset over him spending less time with me but the second time he yelled at me so I reacted that way.
This only happened twice and we've been dating for almost 2 years. Abuse would be something that was ongoing and happening too often. An abuser would have to be a really mean tough bully like Chris Brown.
But everything has been ok afterwards. It's hasn't happen again and won't. I know I made a mistake which caused his mother to hate me more but I'm now trying to be the best gf.
You have no clue what absue actually is........it is NOT the quantity, it is the quality. ONE TIME IS TOO MANY, it does NOT have to be ongoing OR happen twice a year, or happen daily it can happen ONE TIME and it IS ABUSE, uncontrolled, anger induced, physically striking or touching another in a moment of anger, that is what is abuse.......
You are both very young. His mom saw a side of you that she does not want her son to be victimized by. You should just date others. This is not the age for you to be fighting to keep a boy, you should be learning about yourself and growing up and dating or not, but not be in a relationship. Good luck. Try to research some anger management...Not that his Mom is much better according to your post.
I hope the OP's bf one day has the courage to dump her. The good news is he is close towards finishing HS, which means he'll be focused on college and meet other nicer girls. I'm willing to bet the OP would not like it if her bf started getting physical or if he would have been a meaner guy that retaliates.
I'm surprised the bf is still with her. I can't imagine what the mother is going through....giving birth to her only son, hearing his cries, seeing him walk for the first time, feeding him, taking him to the doctor whenever he would get sick, teaching him morals and probably raised him not to hurt girls (the most important quality we demand in a man), providing him a home for all those 18 years only to have a girl doing the same thing abusive guys do.
I get the feeling the OP might then move on to slapping him or maybe it has but we're only hearing part of her abuse. I don't see any remore on her posts. She is mainly blaming her bf.
Where did the OP learn that it was ok to put your hands on your partner in anger?
I understand what I did was wrong; that I agree but you're making it sound like I would be considered a threat to him.
Yes, I am. Because I think you may be. And so does the mother. That's why she's being "mean" to you. I give the mother some props for not out and out banning you from calling the house or coming over. If that was my son, my wife and I would have a discussion along that regard. Regardless, we would sit down with our son and talk it out concernign the type of person you are.
Quote:
Originally Posted by liliesnsprinklers
The truth is he can take care of himself, probably fight two guys at once. When I backed him against the wall and shook him, if he wanted to get out then he could have just pulled me aside and left. He did nothing.
It's not about being able to "take care of himself." You show a horrible lack of understanding about what physical abuse really is with that comment alone, never mind others you have made elsewhere. The fact that "he did nothing" proves he is a good person. The fact that you did something proves the opposite of you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by liliesnsprinklers
I was trying to make amends with her by being nice and buying her a b-day present but that didn't work. What else would you be doing if you were me?
You weren't being nice to her with the comment where you said, "I was calling him, not you." (Paraphrased as I'm not going to search back through the thread to find it.) If you are ever to win her trust again, it will take time. It's not a case of being nice to her for a few weeks, a few months or even a year. It's an every day thing even if you have to do it through clenched teeth. It's asking her how she's been, talking about mundane things and just letting her see that you're not a bad kid. (Which, frankly, is still open to debate, if you ask me.)
And buying her a birthday gift does not count as being nice.
It's about respect, you're a teenager with a lot to learn, no life plan, and a temper. I have a 16 year old son, you touch him once and you're done - he's going to college, he's got a job, he's smart, and respectful of adults, so fortunately I don't think I'd have to worry about him dating someone like you.
You want the mother to respect you - get good grades, get a part time job, speak respectfully to her, don't cause her son angst, learn to control your temper - speak to a school guidance counselor or a therapist. Your reasons for getting angry sounds associated with jealousy and control - these are usually caused by low self-esteem, you need to like yourself before you can like and respect others.
I got upset and kind of like snapped; one of those overheated arguments in the past and I ended up backing him against a wall and shook him a bit and yelled. She saw it and hates me more since then.
She thinks I'm a bad person that is controlling her son. She needs to get a life. My bf chose me and he's not a minor anymore. But that was last year and she is still not over it.
To be honest it's probably a maturity thing. It's not uncomon for a parent to want the best for their child, and she simply doesn't think you're the best. If you treat him well, and make him happy, Mom will likely eventually come around to loving you too. But keep in mind that you are just now 17 years old, one day if and when you become a parent, you'll understand I imagine.
I still occasionally have differences of opinion with my in-laws, but they respect me and care about me, and they have seen me care for their daughter time and time again.
It's not a case of being nice to her for a few weeks, a few months or even a year. It's an every day thing even if you have to do it through clenched teeth. It's asking her how she's been, talking about mundane things and just letting her see that you're not a bad kid.
OP has ongoing arguments with her bf because he spends more time with relatives and friends than her. Add to that the physical abuse the mother witnessed and you can bet I wouldn't want someone like that for my sons. I have a feeling the mother has more issues with the OP than just the argument one year ago.
If you have to argue with someone to get them to spend time with you, chances are the relationship is one sided. OP needs to move on.
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