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Yes, yes, I know. I've read all about how it can never work long term. But there's more to a person than a sun sign. This Libra is traditional in that he rationalizes at face value and doesn't go very deep into the psyche, but he is so very sensitive, yet extremely adaptable and forgiving, which draws me deeply.
A bit of a backstory:
I am afraid of my own passion. My energy, when I possess it, scares people away! I don't like too many connections with too many people, as it drains me, but I do ache for at least some. But once I get a few nice connections, I tend to become too self-centered and something will come up, some difference, and I will drive it in, as is my nature, until it hurts the other person and they leave me. I am a sign of transformation but without the wisdom to wield it properly.
At some point in late high school I recognized this shortcoming of mine, and tried to suppress it. I failed. In college I took up two, yes TWO psychology courses in order to better understand and relate to my fellow human beings. I learned through the Myers-Briggs test that I am equally INFP and INTP, both considered roughly 1% of the population, and that equal crosses between two categories are in themselves somewhat rare. Yay, so I'll never find someone quite like me, is what that said. It was a lonely revelation. I further researched PEOPLE through extensive reading, watching, and analyzing. I was a waitress for four years and have worked retail for another five, so I've had plenty of observation. I eventually taught myself to blend in perfectly and to be popular, to be adaptable; to be well-liked. But I was not myself. I was suppressing myself. My adaptability is to the extent that I can near-perfectly mimic accents after only a little listening, and I will 'like' and 'hate' whatever you 'like' and 'hate' within moments of conversation. If I had the drive to manipulate, I could sell honey to bees.
I've formed many connections, but each of them superficial. Superficial grates on my nerves, as it should, but somehow I preferred it to loneliness. Although I had never felt so alone. And the relations I form will drop me as soon as I'm no longer beneficial to them. It's a wasteful, callous world. I began to live day by day, never expecting much, never engaging much. My energy flagged. I had no zest. Everything was boring. Nothing had depth. I was dying inside, slowly, and didn't enough know.
Now the LIBRA:
Yes, the sparks do fly immediately, between Scorpio and Libra! No one's managed to get me to come out of my shell so quickly as this sensitive, caring, ultra-forgiving man. I find myself wanting to tell him absolutely everything. He energizes me. He makes me come alive! I have a bit of an OCD problem, and so does he. I over-analyze MORE than he does, so it was so cute to hear him admit and apologize to over-analyzing things. We have no secrets. He is an open book and appreciates direct communication. This appeals to my anti-facade nature. After only a few weeks with him I began to wonder WHY he was making me feel the way I feel now, basically why I could feel AT ALL... and this is when I finally realized that before, the 'me' inside me had been slipping away. I just wanted to cry. My core was so weak that if I allowed myself to become emotional at all, which would mostly happen in arguments, what I would do is mirror the emotions of the person I'm arguing with. So if they're angry I'm angry too, and it spins out of control. If they're calm I calm down too, and it is resolved quickly. I had therefore taught myself to never become emotional. I became rational. If a customer berated me I could tolerate them better than most of my co-workers and I was a shining example of how to behave. But I could not even take pride in that because I could not feel.
I love his humor. I GET IT. He's DANGED FUNNY! He's attractive and I adore him. He's patient with me and my nuttiness. Yes, I'm not so ordinary... I'm quite happy to pick up a cicada and pet its head because it's cute. Call me a tomboy. Call me weird. Just don't call me "too weird". When I'm feeling needy and want a kiss, all I have to do is tell him. He WILL forget all about me and my wanting him for a time. He will forget that makes me sad. But all I have to do is tell him and he's there. He wants balance and peace and harmony. I know that part of what makes me hide myself from the world is that when I allow myself to feel, I feel DEEPLY. I am all or none. I do not become only a little happy, or a little sad, or a little... angry. If I (or mine) feel threatened, my immediate gut reaction is to strike hard and fast. This actually has done very little for me and so I seek to lessen this reaction. When I give myself time to think before acting, I am much more diplomatic. You could possibly categorize me today as a Wolf Scorpio seeking the Eagle stage. I'm not there and I don't think I can get there on my own. I need solid support. This balancing Libra could do that for me. With him, I could ascend. I am only in my late twenties. This is a good rate of progress. It might be due to my withdrawing, observing, and analyzing without emotion for so long. He would be excellent for me. I only hope to not scare him away on this journey. He keeps me from feeling upset but occasionally, I will feel sick or otherwise more prone to anger, and someone will attack me, and I will strike with a snide remark, or by talking loudly (rudely). This bothers him greatly. Curbing this while allowing myself to feel things would be a long journey indeed. If he will keep me, I will improve more quickly.
Now the problem:
I have never gone all the way, physically, with anyone. I have always been too afraid to surrender myself to someone without the return commitment of 100%. I am saving myself for marriage. At 18 it was easy enough to assign myself this task. Be a good Christian girl and make the relatives happy. After college and before meeting my Libra, it was because I couldn't feel enough of a connection with anyone to WANT to be physical with them. I'm a Scorpio and I do NEED more than physical. I need emotional and spiritual, too. I don't even play with myself because it doesn't get any more empty than that. I have the emotional with this Libra. But I still fear the spiritual without the sign of commitment. The formality of it all: marriage. The getting the relatives and close friends involved to bear witness to our union. The having more of a reason to come back and try again after a heated argument. We've never actually really argued about anything. Being so straight forward and honest with everything, and easy to read, on both sides, helps greatly. His desire for harmony does too. But I am a Scorpio. Hit all my buttons in just the right way, and I am a real spitfire. I'm downright stubborn and I bite. But as soon as things cool down, what I secretly want is for the one I argued with to come back and tell me everything will be alright. Come and hug me. Love me. Allow me to trust you again. I'm a softie and if this can happen without me asking, I'm yours all over again. If all we're doing is dating, is 'trying things out', there may not be enough of a reason for him to come back to me if we ever do get into a heated argument. It's inevitable that arguments happen to the best of us. Those who last have at least one partner who's willing to come back and try again. I'm stubborn. I'm insecure. I'm overly emotional and not rational in the slightest when I allow my emotions to overtake me. I am not the partner willing to do this. I'm... immature.
So the problem isn't really his inability to commit. We've only known each other for a few months. I understand his need to see all things from all angles before proceeding, and I understand this can take a very, very long time. And I'm willing to wait. The thing is, he's gone all the way, physically, with other women in the past. He says he's willing to date me even though I won't do that. But he doesn't understand why I won't. Why I'm afraid. He can't think as deeply as I do without any trouble. I can't explain this sort of depth to him. He takes facts rationally and doesn't use long-term fears and emotions in his reasonings. He's willing to let me be how I am, though since he doesn't understand why, every now and then he asks again. He has to have learned by now that I am not going to break down, so pushing me can't be why he asks. He is deeply attracted to me, but he wants to make me happy. He wants to understand why, and I have not been able to explain it to him. I have tried. I keep failing. I don't know how to properly, and simply, explain it to him.
I suggest that you have made this way more complicated than it is. If he doesn't understand why you want to wait until marriage to have sex, then he probably isn't the guy for you.
Maybe you should try a Christian dating website. And try not to talk about all of the horoscope stuff, because according to the Christian's I know, that's evil or something like that.
Have you ever heard about the story of the scorpion and the frog?
The scorpion can't swim across a stream so he asked the frog to carry him over on his back.
The frog complied, but as soon as he got over to the other side of the stream, the scorpion stung him on the back before hopping off.
As he laid there in anguish waiting to die, the frog yelled out "Why? Why did you poison me?"
The scorpion said "Because it's my nature."
What does this have to do with your post? I don't know. I didn't read your post because it was too long and it was about astrology but I saw that it mentioned a scorpion.
I thought the same, but I really tried to be nice seeing as she wasn't as annoying as she didn't start on multiple soul mates nonsense.
I'm not all that forgiving of air-headedness from my fellow air signs. That makes me a lousy Libra.
Oh, wait, must be that Scorpio cusp thing rearing its ugly head. Oh, so deep and moody and broody I am, a Libra with Scorpiocidal tendencies. However do I manage to live with myself? Clearly I'm at war with me.
I'm not all that forgiving of air-headedness from my fellow air signs. That makes me a lousy Libra.
Oh, wait, must be that Scorpio cusp thing rearing its ugly head. Oh, so deep and moody and broody I am, a Libra with Scorpiocidal tendencies. However do I manage to live with myself? Clearly I'm at war with me.
And so am I.
I don't even remember what Virgo was supposed to be. Every time I've read it I could only conclude it didn't sound anything like me. I'm not cusping. I'm sure of it. And the lisp is gone too.
I don't even remember what Virgo was supposed to be. Every time I've read it I could only conclude it didn't sound anything like me. I'm not cusping. I'm sure of it. And the lisp is gone too.
A very good friend of mine is classic Virgo: Uber responsible and retentive. You strike me as responsible, but not retentive.
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And the lisp is gone too.
