Mostly venting...what's up with guys nowadays? (Asian, man, young)
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Those darned guys these days, with their penises and their testes and their XY chromosomes and adam's apples! My problems with dating are all their fault!
some good points. I may join a hiking group. that's a nice idea.
and the guys I meet I'm not looking to date them from "hello". the buying thing was taken out of context, I shouldn't have written that.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DR2012
I think we are way past expecting the guy to pay. I don't see why the guy should have to pay? I always preferred to share costs on dates unless he spoke up and said otherwise. If he paid (often men always did) I made sure to jump in and pay after a couple dates. I like to pay and contribute.
I think dating sucks. All the games and expectations, no thanks! The forced getting-to-know-you crap and what you are "supposed" to do. I couldn't get into something with someone unless we were friends for a little while or just got to know each other for awhile, even a few weeks or something. It would certainly take the edge off. I don't think I could ever go back to the dating world like that. I'd rather just stay single! The only way I'd have a boyfriend is an accidental one, that's for sure.
I would re-evaluate where you are meeting these men, how you go about trying to date them, and expecting them to pay for your dates and buy you gifts. Try meetup groups or volunteering, and just getting to know people for who they are and if something leads to dating then so be it. I know you say you are meeting them in various situations, but it seems like you must not know them very well before you begin dating. Perhaps if you are in some sort of say, art class for fun or biking club or volunteering, you can get to know and talk to someone for weeks or even months but not in a dating scenario, then you are knowing the real person for a longer time before you start something with them. Then, you know better if there will be a lasting relationship or if the person is what you are looking for.
Then tell them no. If you don't really know them, don't go out with them.
Most of my past relationships were long-term. I never dated around or had these issues. But pretty much all men I dated, I knew the kind of men they were prior, I knew about them, who they were, things about them so I knew what I would be in for prior. I knew they weren't after one thing, or they weren't liars, braggarts, etc. If a guy I barely knew asked me out I wouldn't go for it.
I have a lot to focus on in my life right now. I was just venting a frustration. But i don't think of dating constantly. a nice guy in my life would be nice, but I''m not obsessed.
Quote:
Originally Posted by DR2012
Another good thing I think to do is forget about it for awhile. Take a break from dating and focus on other aspects of your life for awhile.
I'm not saying he needs to buy me something, I just mean that some guys brag that they have so much money or a big house, but why tell me these things, to make me jealous? make me sleep with him? I mean what benefit is it to me to hear these things.
the guy gets laid or a bj, whatever, but I'm still in the same boat..no bf, no ltr. I get nothing out of it. I don't sleep with guys on the 1st date, only if I'm in a committed ltr. but those days seem long over.
If a guy is bragging about how much money he has, is it not in your best interest to hope for a long-term relationship with him in the first place? Unless you're a gold-digger, of course, which I kind of figure with the whole "why doesn't be take me on a trip or buy me stuff" routine. In that case, good luck wrangling a rich guy.
If you're only worried about guys committing to long-term relationships, why would you mention the flowers, dinner and such? Long-term relationships don't just happen every day. There's a lot to "click" for someone of reasonable intelligence to commit to something long-term. It takes some people quite a while to even find one long-term relationship. Until I found my (soon to be) fiance, I dated a large handful of women, mostly between one to five dates. Some people take hundreds of dates before they find a good long-term relationship.
Maybe you should attempt online dating, making it clear that you're interested only in something long-term and see what happens.
no, I am not having sex. I'm talking about these men that go out with me a couple times, and I can tell they are pushing for things to get physical, but I don't sleep on the first date or 2nd 3rd for that matter,
guess I'm gearing up for a life of celibacy.
(getting sex isn't the hard part, its finding a good man who wants to be in a ltr and get married)
You're just getting the wrong guys, that's all. There were a lot of complaints about this happening among the women when I was in college. I'd suggest you try joining meet-ups, clubs, groups, volunteering, etc., but I know you've tried all that. Keep trying, I guess. The best bet is to get to know a guy through some shared activity, first. Then when you know you have something in common, or you just hit it off personality-wise, you take the next step.
thank you for the compliment! I don't lay anything on guys. I keep an open mind and try to let things flow, it's usually after a couple dates I get let down.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rakin
I was going to see if you were going to be in dallas anytime some. You're sexy and I love to date but the marriage part kind of blows it on my end.
the "buy things" comment was taken out of context, I meant it as if a guy is going to brag to me about how much money he has and how big his house is, WHY TELL ME THIS? WHAT IS THE BENEFIT TO ME TO KNOW THIS???
I make plenty of money and don't need a man's money. If he makes so much then he can pay for dates. I'm not a gold digger. I've "wrangled" rich guys and poor guys, doesn't make much difference in the disappointment department.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesthebass
If a guy is bragging about how much money he has, is it not in your best interest to hope for a long-term relationship with him in the first place? Unless you're a gold-digger, of course, which I kind of figure with the whole "why doesn't be take me on a trip or buy me stuff" routine. In that case, good luck wrangling a rich guy.
If you're only worried about guys committing to long-term relationships, why would you mention the flowers, dinner and such? Long-term relationships don't just happen every day. There's a lot to "click" for someone of reasonable intelligence to commit to something long-term. It takes some people quite a while to even find one long-term relationship. Until I found my (soon to be) fiance, I dated a large handful of women, mostly between one to five dates. Some people take hundreds of dates before they find a good long-term relationship.
Maybe you should attempt online dating, making it clear that you're interested only in something long-term and see what happens.
To some of the men complaining about paying for dinner. Guys, lunch/dinner costs about $20 to $40, are you so broke that you can't afford that two or three times a week. Come on now, spend less on you car and save money so that you can afford stuff.
To some of the men complaining about paying for dinner. Guys, lunch/dinner costs about $20 to $40, are you so broke that you can't afford that two or three times a week. Come on now, spend less on you car and save money so that you can afford stuff.
That sounds like a Denny's or IHOP date (for 2). Not something I would ever do...
I get what the OP is saying now. At first I wasn't sure.
If the man asks the man should pay.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
