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one of life's worst experiences. Your best friend turns on you and gets professional help to attempt to destroy u and turn u into a debt slave for the rest of your life. But then u come to realize that is what they were trying to do when u were married to them. Next horror is your family all sides with your ex and tells u, u should have laid down and taken it all. After its over u realize that your family is not god either, but a bunch of people 1/2 as strong as u r. Later much later when u r rich and powerful & talented and everybody want to be your baby, u will realize that they threw out the gold and kept the bag it came in. People often kill the goose and keep the golden egg it laid.
I'm so sorry for your divorce. It is very very painful, and even though I had a good support system sometimes I felt alone. Maybe your friends don't realize how bad you are feeling? I think divorce can be one of those things people just don't understand unless they've been there themselves. Get your feelings out. That's really important. I wrote in a journal a lot. I did exercise, but not because I wanted to look great to attract someone else, but because it can be a good way to burn off steam. Especially when I was going through my anger period. Exercise is good, and try to eat well and sleep and take care of yourself. I really struggled to eat and sleep when I was dealing with mine and I lost a LOT of weight and not in a good way. I found pleasure in small things - throwing toys and playing with my dog, reading a good book in a bubble bath, drinking a nice glass of wine. Anything you can do to distract yourself is good. Eventually you go from thinking about it all day, to thinking about it less and less. I remember thinking in the middle of mine that I would never be happy again, I would never go another day without crying. It's a horrible feeling, but it does get better. Hang in there!
It takes time, and the healing is gradual. Find new things to do, create a new life for yourself, even in small ways.
I know that just a few months ago you had a boyfriend. I assume you broke up and that could be part of your feeling-alone-ness, to have two relationships end in a short period of time. Don't give up hope, but try being on your own for at least a year.
What is your point? All I'm getting from your man-hate posts is that you're recommending the OP not go to the gym and to remain single because he's bound to break their heart again.
Again, you miss the point. Even mentioning the possibility of another partner, however distant in the future, is absurd. It belittles the pain she is going through now, which, if you could read between the lines of her posts, is quite substantial. It has nothing to do with man-hate and everything to do with how a woman feels when a man presents her with a divorce she doesn't want. The LAST thing she should think about is another man. You may not like to hear that, but it's the truth. Let her breathe and get over this one. Her focus should be on herself and herself only right now. No one else.
As for the rest, ah, yes, any time a woman says a man isn't her number 1 priority, or shouldn't be another woman's number 1 priority, she hates men. Spoken like a true patriarchal sexist.
Im going through a divorce with no support. Esp on a day like today
A few of my so call friends didnt even care to check up on me.
The world is so cruel or maybe im just in my feelings but divorce is really
Painful
One min im ok next min im breaking down.
How can I overcome the pain??
You deal with it one day at a time.
I am so very sorry to hear that you have to go through this, but you are not alone. Maybe find a support group, you need to go through all the roller coaster of emotions in order to heal..
Again, you miss the point. Even mentioning the possibility of another partner, however distant in the future, is absurd. It belittles the pain she is going through now, which, if you could read between the lines of her posts, is quite substantial. It has nothing to do with man-hate and everything to do with how a woman feels when a man presents her with a divorce she doesn't want. The LAST thing she should think about is another man. You may not like to hear that, but it's the truth. Let her breathe and get over this one. Her focus should be on herself and herself only right now. No one else.
As for the rest, ah, yes, any time a woman says a man isn't her number 1 priority, or shouldn't be another woman's number 1 priority, she hates men. Spoken like a true patriarchal sexist.
For the record, I agree with you. I completely disagreed with his book recommendations. Jag, The Game is one of the most ridiculous books I've ever seen. Its aimed at 20 year old boys who want to hook up.
For the record, I agree with you. I completely disagreed with his book recommendations. Jag, The Game is one of the most ridiculous books I've ever seen. Its aimed at 20 year old boys who want to hook up.
You're in the minority; the fact you even read it speaks volumes as I assume someone recommended it to you. I believe every guy should read it if they're striking out with women. I also said in my original recommendation that it's a good place to start; to further elaborate you can use the "model" to attract a fling or a wife therefore I see no downside if one's striking out with women. You can also read other books.
You're in the minority; the fact you even read it speaks volumes as I assume someone recommended it to you. I believe every guy should read it if they're striking out with women. I also said in my original recommendation that it's a good place to start; to further elaborate you can use the "model" to attract a fling or a wife therefore I see no downside if one's striking out with women. You can also read other books.
I don't recall where I heard about it, but I didn't finish it and turned around and sold it on Amazon. I agree that there are some good books on dating out there to read. I just don't think thats one of them. Maybe its because I'm older and authentic, so that stuff is just lost on me.
Divorce is an ugly, mean process which takes on a life of its own. It is only at the whim and emotion of the players to it that there is any structure, and that structure is defined by chaos because it is based on emotion. Think of how simple the actual tasks really are?
In the end, you get a horrible person out of your life, and that is a reward which gives you an invaluable gift: mental freedom.
There is a LOT of good advice here. I would add one additional thought to what has been said, and it comes form experience. I went through the divorce from hell. I kept it private for the most part, and didn't lean on others accept to be friends and interact as we always had.
My Ex, however, wailed and cried and moaned and groaned to ALL of her friends, and they got to the point where they didn't want to hear from her. They thought she had turned into a nut case and they didn't need to burden their lives with her issues. They wouldn't even pick up the phone when they saw she was calling.
Reach out to friends. Make a call. Have a lunch or a cocktail. See a movie or go to a concert. But don't use friends as an emotional crutch for expressing the gory details of your divorce. People don't care. Everyone has their own issues to deal with. Don't burden them with yours. They'll be there for you in the dark hours; just don't use them in anything less than an emergency moment.
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