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Like I said in my earlier posting waaaaaaay back....Your bed, your choice. Now lay in it.
And you would NOT make a great mom, stop being delusional. If you actually think that an alcoholic is better than a single/divorced dad, you need to seek counseling. I know a ton of single fathers who are amazing men.
Seriously, you are thinking about the GIFTS at a wedding as opposed to what your life will be like with the man you are seeing? Holy crap....
An alcoholic could be better than a divorced dad but I am not one to put single dads on a pedestal. After all if a single dad was that great more than likely he'd still be married unless his wife was crazy, in which case I will avoid. I know a ton of single dads who are horrible dads so what's your point? Yes getting gifts and spending my own money as I chose trumps a man who can never spend money or time with me.
How many chances are you willing to give this guy? When alcoholics swear to you and to themselves that they will never touch another drop, you might naturally expect that they are sincere and they won't drink again. But with alcoholics, that expectation turns out to be unreasonable.
Alcoholism is chronic and progressive disease, sometimes it can be fatal without treatment.
Going by this thread, this guy never even swore he would quit. His mom brought it up, he didn't. That's why I think he likes his life just the way it is. Plenty of drunks do, they know they have a problem but dont care. And frankly that is their prerogative.
Some of us are speaking to the OP from experience. Friendship is one thing. Trying to start/maintain a romantic relationship with an alcoholic is stupid and pointless and likely will not end well.
No kidding. It is not about you IDDY.You can't love an alcoholic sober matter how much you want to. Taco Man is no catch.
I know there are more men that are what I desire but I don't feel it's right to dump him when he needs me. Obviously if he can't quit I have no choice but to dump him.
This is codependency. He doesn't need you to straighten him out. You need him to feel like you're doing something for him. Trust me, he doesn't care what you do for him as long as you don't interfere with his ability to access alcohol. If the day comes and his need for alcohol grows worse, you might find yourself on the receiving end of his anger.
An alcoholic has to realize they have hit rock bottom in order to start to heal.
Step out of his way and get counseling fir yourself to move beyond your codependency.
He just wants you to know that there are a lot of people here who love you like crazy, and they're gonna say what they're gonna say and you're gonna say what you're gonna say and then we're done.
Yes I have dated an alcoholic and I still carry the emotional scars to this day. At first I didn't think too much of it because we would drink together, me maybe a glass or two of wine, him a 5th of gin no chaser with a lemon all by himself. Then as we dated longer I began to see that he drank like this everyday and became verbally abusive, and it scared me. The final straw came when he drank so much he blacked out and couldn't remember me being in utter fear of him and I knew I had to get out or this man that I first thought would be my husband, would seriously cause the kind of hurt that would never go away.
Location: Central Bay Area, CA as of Jan 2010...but still a proud Texan from Houston!
7,484 posts, read 10,449,471 times
Reputation: 8955
Quote:
Originally Posted by bellakin123
IT'S ALL ABOUT IDDY...NO CHURCH WEDDING FOR ME ...NO NICE DATES FOR ME ...NO GIFTS FOR ME
If you're not a troll then me say this--you're a selfish person and apparently there's something mentally wrong with you if you'd want a 50 year old alcoholic virgin who lives with his mother rather than being part of a child's life. Whatever you do, don't have kids because you'd screw them mentally anyway.
(drops the mic..I'm outta here)
Amen. There are enough ****ed up parents bringing kids into this world we certainly don't need more of that!
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Been There Done That
...NO NICE DATES FOR ME 
