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I really need to get over being insecure but I do not know how to go about it.
Background: I have lived with bf for 5 years. We have a 2 1/2 year old together but we are not married.
A year into our relationship, I came home to the house ransacked, him and my truck gone. He shacked up with some chick across the country.
A few months later he wanted to come home we did marriage counseling and worked through all that and eventually I let him come home.
Four years later and I still have fears of him leaving me again. I also get pissed off whenever he has some random new woman friend on Facebook. Now he tells me he has no idea who they are and he just accepts anyone that requests to be his friend. He does not physically do anything to make me feel suspicious he is doing anything with them.
How do you get over feeling insecure? Would having his commitment of marriage make me feel less insecure?
No, I do not think I was insecure before our relationship. My ex husband was always out doing stuff and talking to whoever and I never once wanted to check his phone. I ended up being lonely because I seemed to always sit around waiting for him to come home, but never felt like I was going to be left for another woman.
No, I do not think I was insecure before our relationship. My ex husband was always out doing stuff and talking to whoever and I never once wanted to check his phone. I ended up being lonely because I seemed to always sit around waiting for him to come home, but never felt like I was going to be left for another woman.
Are you comfortable with the idea of being alone? Without a man?
I found that once you are perfectly comfortable with yourself and being alone, all insecurities seem to fall by the wayside.
I do ok alone when bf is away on extended trips for work. So I think I would survive being alone emotionally. I do prefer the company of someone, if that makes sense.
Marriage counseling when you aren't even married? Why did you get pregnant so soon after he ditched you for another woman? I think you feel insecure because this relationship is doomed and you know it.
I do ok alone when bf is away on extended trips for work. So I think I would survive being alone emotionally. I do prefer the company of someone, if that makes sense.
Survive and being perfectly comfortable are two different things.
If he isn't consciously working to fix the problem he caused I would let him go. Is there a reason why you stayed with him after he cheated on you?
Why would your insecurity go away if he's a cheater? (he is)
Maybe, like, 10 years from now it will go away but that would only happen if he never, I mean NEVER, made a misstep like flirting with other females or making dubious "friends", but that doesn't appear to be happening. Facebook will not help your relationship. I suggest you both close your accounts. A counselor would even tell you to do that if you went to couples counseling (I've heard this from my friends).
Not only did he cheat, but he stole your truck to do so and seemed to have cleared the apartment as well. I think you feel insecure because you have reasons to be (in this relationship). I don't know how one would get over that sort of treatement, and I am not even sure one should!
So I am not wrong to feel insecure? He keeps telling me I am being crazy.
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