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. In a nutshell was having a conversation with my mom and I mentioned that I had just deactivated my profile on the dating site I was on, she asked why and I said cause it just wasn't working for me. So she asked what other dating sites I was on and I said none. She threw her hands up and yelled " fine die an old maid" so of course I got really upset and thought that was a bit harsh, and she couldn't understand why I was upset by that comment, because according to her I'm not doing enough to meet a man. First off I'm 31 years old, and by today's standards that's hardly an old maid. I don't live with my mom, I have my own place and I fully support myself. It's just weird to me cause my mom left my dad when I was 10 years old, she's never gotten remarried and has jumped from man to man since my parents got divorced. I think my mom and I have different dating patterns, my mom was always an attractive woman but I always remember her dating men who were beneath her, like complete losers, or just mean guys...and I think that's what has made me so picky because I remember as a kid thinking I would never date the kind of men she brought home. I was so afraid to end up like her, that I'm afraid I've become the complete opposite. Everytime I start dating someone new and they do something that upsets me or pisses me off, I just end it instead of talking about with them.
My mom doesn't know this is how I feel, but I just find it odd that she's not more understanding given the fact that she's still single.
Sorry if I bored anyone just really needed to vent!
. In a nutshell was having a conversation with my mom and I mentioned that I had just deactivated my profile on the dating site I was on, she asked why and I said cause it just wasn't working for me. So she asked what other dating sites I was on and I said none. She threw her hands up and yelled " fine die an old maid" so of course I got really upset and thought that was a bit harsh, and she couldn't understand why I was upset by that comment, because according to her I'm not doing enough to meet a man. First off I'm 31 years old, and by today's standards that's hardly an old maid. I don't live with my mom, I have my own place and I fully support myself. It's just weird to me cause my mom left my dad when I was 10 years old, she's never gotten remarried and has jumped from man to man since my parents got divorced. I think my mom and I have different dating patterns, my mom was always an attractive woman but I always remember her dating men who were beneath her, like complete losers, or just mean guys...and I think that's what has made me so picky because I remember as a kid thinking I would never date the kind of men she brought home. I was so afraid to end up like her, that I'm afraid I've become the complete opposite. Everytime I start dating someone new and they do something that upsets me or pisses me off, I just end it instead of talking about with them.
My mom doesn't know this is how I feel, but I just find it odd that she's not more understanding given the fact that she's still single.
Sorry if I bored anyone just really needed to vent!
Sounds like you have two challenges, finding a dating approach that "works" for you, and, dealing with your mother's comments.
Eh, my Mom's the same way. She constantly alternates between really wanting me to get married and have kids and asking if I'm a lesbian/talking about how I'm going to be alone forever and that I may as well adopt a bunch of cats.
She'll likely never stop bugging you about it, so all you can do is just say 'when it's right, it's right and until then I'm going to live my life as I see fit'.
Location: Huntersville/Charlotte, NC and Washington, DC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bebe182
. In a nutshell was having a conversation with my mom and I mentioned that I had just deactivated my profile on the dating site I was on, she asked why and I said cause it just wasn't working for me. So she asked what other dating sites I was on and I said none. She threw her hands up and yelled " fine die an old maid" so of course I got really upset and thought that was a bit harsh, and she couldn't understand why I was upset by that comment, because according to her I'm not doing enough to meet a man. First off I'm 31 years old, and by today's standards that's hardly an old maid. I don't live with my mom, I have my own place and I fully support myself. It's just weird to me cause my mom left my dad when I was 10 years old, she's never gotten remarried and has jumped from man to man since my parents got divorced. I think my mom and I have different dating patterns, my mom was always an attractive woman but I always remember her dating men who were beneath her, like complete losers, or just mean guys...and I think that's what has made me so picky because I remember as a kid thinking I would never date the kind of men she brought home. I was so afraid to end up like her, that I'm afraid I've become the complete opposite. Everytime I start dating someone new and they do something that upsets me or pisses me off, I just end it instead of talking about with them.
My mom doesn't know this is how I feel, but I just find it odd that she's not more understanding given the fact that she's still single.
Sorry if I bored anyone just really needed to vent!
Ladies and gents, this is why some like me, do not disclose the details of their dating life to parents.
My parents did a lot wrong and I see it more and more as I get older, but one thing they were good with was staying out of my business, and I'm thankful for that. They also never gave me any grief about not wanting to get married and have kids.....
I don't have any good words for you OP, other than I'm sure your mom loves you and wants the best for you.... it's just manifesting in a way that is driving you nuts.... LOL....
maybe its because your mother lived a less than ideal life-her frustration and fear is,,,you may end up like her...
she wants it better for you
dont take her words to heart..
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Just kidding.
