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Looking for a little advice here, I have a girlfriend who has a lot of guy friends.. and this makes me uncomfortable. Just the other night, she went out to another city with her guy friends and I didn't hear from her until the next day at noon she sent a message saying she's still alive.
This doesn't sit right with me, but it's things like this that make me hate being in a relationship. I tell myself I'm supposed to trust the girl I'm with.. but at the same time it seems so sketchy it makes me wonder if I want to trust her.
I don't so much have insecurities or think other guys are better than me, I just don't like the idea of being lied to or played like a fool. It really bothers me. I also know, that you can't confront women about this stuff because it just makes you look weak and then they will go to another guy, so you have to keep calm and act like you don't care.
Where do you draw the line? Do you ever just tell yourself that you prefer being single? I guess I kind of ranted here but it just is annoying.
She told you she was going out of town with her male friends so I don't see where she lied to you.
You obviously don't trust her and I think if you are serious about being in a real relationship you are going to have to quit being insecure about your girlfriend (s) having male friends or find a girlfriend who does not know any men at all.
As long as you don't know any women besides your girlfriend and have no female friends, there should be no issues at all.
She told you she was going out of town with her male friends so I don't see where she lied to you.
You obviously don't trust her and I think if you are serious about being in a real relationship you are going to have to quit being insecure about your girlfriend (s) having male friends or find a girlfriend who does not know any men at all.
As long as you don't know any women besides your girlfriend and have no female friends, there should be no issues at all.
Well, I never said she lied to me. I also said that these are the reasons that being in a relationship is difficult for me.
It's just strange because I think of myself in a situation where if I was out of town with a girl. I'm not saying I'm right and she's bad.. I'm saying it's tough for me.
How do you just automatically trust someone in a situation that seems completely weird to you?
Just the other night, she went out to another city with her guy friends and I didn't hear from her until the next day at noon she sent a message saying she's still alive.
Looking for a little advice here, I have a girlfriend who has a lot of guy friends.. and this makes me uncomfortable. Just the other night, she went out to another city with her guy friends and I didn't hear from her until the next day at noon she sent a message saying she's still alive.
I guess I would feel a little weird about that too. Like I would've never done that to my husband when we were dating, not because he wouldn't have trusted me, but simply because he would've worried. And when you care about someone, you choose to take actions to help them feel secure, not be worried about your safety, etc.
I do believe it's fine to have opposite sex friends, but there has to be respect for the primary relationship you're in. That means setting appropriate boundaries and at times, holding back from things you might otherwise have done if you were completely single for the sake of making your partner comfortable.
I also know, that you can't confront women about this stuff because it just makes you look weak and then they will go to another guy, so you have to keep calm and act like you don't care.
Wrong about that one, bro. In fact, just the opposite. Avoiding the issue shows you're weak and unable to address it effectively.
Here's the thing. The more you condone her stepping out with her guy friends, partying and doing lord knows what with them, the more it will happen. And lets be honest here, some of her guy friends want to bang her. Because that's what guys like to do with pretty girls.
So, you have two choices. Keep your trap shut until she leaves you for someone else, or put your foot down and say "no, I don't want you going out with a group of guys to party, drink and do whatever, and if you continue to do it, I'm done with this relationship."
Now I know there will be people who say you're not allowed to give ultimatums, but yes you are. Also, she's not respecting your feelings.
Well, I never said she lied to me. I also said that these are the reasons that being in a relationship is difficult for me.
It's just strange because I think of myself in a situation where if I was out of town with a girl. I'm not saying I'm right and she's bad.. I'm saying it's tough for me.
How do you just automatically trust someone in a situation that seems completely weird to you?
I don't think it's being in a relationship that's difficult for you. There are plenty of women out there who don't go on overnights with a bunch of guy friends, or one guy friend. What's difficult for you is being in a relationship with someone who has a lot of guy friends, and goes on overnights with them without you.
Since we don't know anything about these other guys or the nature of her friendship with them (are they exes, or just platonic friends?), there's not much more we can say at this point. How well do you know the guys?
She's visiting her family? So these are guy friends from back when she was in school and living at home? Maybe they're just childhood friends, maybe it's not a big deal. I had a posse that I hung out with in HS, strictly platonic friends, and I'd get back with them when I was home from college or home visiting after college, occasionally. BF didn't have a problem with it.
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