Confidence isn't some genetic trait. It is nurtured through a series of life experiences

[Shaquille]

You can be attractive and still have no confidence and vice versa lol.

[irish_bob]

confidence requires positive experiences , too many negative experiences and anyones confidence will get knocked

happened to me , I was super confident at twenty one

[DrVanNostren]

Originally Posted by jma501

Your third paragraph is contradictory to your fourth. You wrote "I still have to fight my natural introverted instincts" and " often a drink or two helps" then you wrote in your second paragraph that "I am very at peace with myself" and "being cool and relaxed". if you were truly what your second paragraph indicates you would neither need to fight your introverted instincts nor resort to a drink or two.

Haha, good point. I am at peace with myself but I am also naturally introverted. It doesn't come naturally to me (as it does some of my friends) to be outgoing. And sometimes I need a drink for inspiration.

Point being I'm fine with the fact that I need to motivate myself sometimes, instead of what I used to do, which is beating myself up over not being naturally outgoing.

That's the best I can do to explain away the apparent contradiction

[jma501]

Originally Posted by DrVanNostren

Haha, good point. I am at peace with myself but I am also naturally introverted. It doesn't come naturally to me (as it does some of my friends) to be outgoing. And sometimes I need a drink for inspiration.

Point being I'm fine with the fact that I need to motivate myself sometimes, instead of what I used to do, which is beating myself up over not being naturally outgoing.

That's the best I can do to explain away the apparent contradiction

It works!

[VX5650]

I think a big problem for men is that we've never been given any clear paths to confidence within our society's framework therefore male confidence is a hard trait to describe or to obtain.
I've heard women say that if they needed a boost of confidence that they would go buy a new outfit. Men don't have an equivalent to that.
A man can go to the gym and be confident that he is getting stronger but that does not necessarily equate to social confidence.

[jma501]

Originally Posted by VX5650

I think a big problem for men is that we've never been given any clear paths to confidence within our society's framework therefore male confidence is a hard trait to describe or to obtain.
I've heard women say that if they needed a boost of confidence that they would go buy a new outfit. Men don't have an equivalent to that.
A man can go to the gym and be confident that he is getting stronger but that does not necessarily equate to social confidence.

True. We are just supposed to know how.