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If you've ever been cheated on, saw the other man/woman, and thought, "What does that person have that I don't? He/She isn't even attractive!" you might be right--about the person's looks, at least.
Men admitted that they found their mistresses to be more passionate, better listeners and more caring than their significant others.
...
Similar to the male respondents, women reported that their affair partners listen better and are more passionate than their man at home. And a whopping 89.6 percent of the women indicated that the man they're cheating with makes them feel more appreciated than their significant other.
Last broad who cheated on me did it because I told her I wasn't ready to have a child at the time, that was the main reason, the guy she was nailing was a very large man, in both weight and height, but I have no idea if he was a better listener or not. I'll never know that honestly.
Sounds about right. Once you get into the grind of day-to-day life with someone, it's easy for the passion to go away, along with that hyper attention focused on you and your needs by your partner. So yeah, I could see how the other qualities would trump looks. Especially if what the cheater really wants is for their actual spouse to pay attention to them and they are not really looking for a replacement, but more like a supplement to make them feel better.
I tend to think that in many cases, it's exactly what it says in the article. But I do think there are some exceptions, in which the cheater simply isn't honest with himself or herself and his or her own capacity for monogamy. Because modern society values monogamy, it would make sense that a certain percentage of cheaters go along with "the program" even though it's not in their nature because they want a family with children or the stability of a long-term partner or marriage and know that their partner won't go along with an open relationship or marriage. So, they live the charade and just go behind the other person's back.
Another thing that struck me about this piece is that by saying the spouse is less caring or passionate, that puts some of the blame on the spouse. I don't know how that survey was worded, if it was multiple choice, etc., but it plays right into the oldest line in the book: "My wife/husband doesn't understand me/care."
Meaning, "It's my spouse's fault, not my responsibility or choice."
Which, in the end, is a bunch of b.s. because it's always a choice. No one holds a gun to a cheater's head, and the cheater is the one deliberately putting himself or herself into situations where opportunities to cheat may arise. I wouldn't buy that "it just happened," like many cheaters will claim.
Anyway, thought this was interesting.
Also thought it was interesting that men who cheat tend to prefer Guinness over other beers.
Look at tiger woods, none of his Jumpoffs were anywhere close to his wife
That's difficult to say, since you don't know what he's attracted to. In other words, it may be he married her because she's pretty, but he went for the skanks because that's what turns him on. That happens. I mean, personally speaking, I didn't think Elin was that good looking, either. It's very subjective.
If you've ever been cheated on, saw the other man/woman, and thought, "What does that person have that I don't? He/She isn't even attractive!" you might be right--about the person's looks, at least.
That People Cheat With People Less Attractive Than Their Spouses
I think this article makes a lot of sense.
I know from day one that my brother in law has always wanted taller woman (Like over 5'6") He told my sister once, "Why is everybody in your family so tall, and you are the only midget." My sis is only five feet tall.
Of course I didn't know how those women look like, but I know one of the women he cheated with is only 4'11". I don't know if the lady he cheated on my sister with is better looking or worse looking than my sister. In all honesty and fairness, he perhaps didn't cheat on her because he thought she was too ugly to look at.
I tend to think that in many cases, it's exactly what it says in the article. But I do think there are some exceptions, in which the cheater simply isn't honest with himself or herself and
That does happen; I know someone who did that before she heard about polyamory.
But I have seen a lot more cheating in poly relationships than in monogamous ones. Which just goes to show that, for most cheaters, the cheating is not about having another partner.
Cheating is not about "upgrading", so I'm not surprised with this.
Look at tiger woods, none of his Jumpoffs were anywhere close to his wife
Right. I agree with the premise in the OP. Although, it may be about upgrading in looks if their spouse is hideous compared to the mistress, but most people aren't that different in terms of looks.
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