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There is a difference between taking care of a man when he is sick. I admit I will do that. I will work from home and make sure they are ok. I won't work my tail off and support them. I am not going to give up all my spare time and hobbies to support someone who doesn't want to work.
Dan she is also only 19 right now. She doesn't have a career of her own. If she had a career that paid a substantial amount of money I am sure she wouldn't be so willing to move around.
I've never used a woman, nor have I ever said anything like this before.
However I do know several men who dated women who had money either through the family or she earned and they were able to slack off and not worry about anything. Those guys dated plenty of women and didn't have to try, so they were obviously attractive. Most did use women, some didn't.
Of course, guys like this won't come out and tell you that, but it's evident in their actions. They'll talk a good game and claim that they want an equal relationship, and even put on a good show for a while. These guys always have mommy issues or a harrowing tale about a crazy ex(es) that took advantage of them and ruined their life. Sometimes I think this is the M.O. of the guys that complain about "golddiggers". They go on and on about someone that took everything that they have, and of course you want to show them that you're "not that girl" so you bust your *ss trying to prove yourself. Before you know it, you're the one pulling full freight in the relationship.
I understand people wanting someone to "be there" for them even when times are bad. If someone is recovering from surgery or loses a job, yes, you help them. Sometimes one person in the relationship has to step up, and sometimes it's the other person. But, it's an ebb and flow. Not one person doing all the giving and one person doing all the taking. But, you have people out there for what ever reason that feel that they are entitled to get whatever they want - and neither gender has a monopoly on this attitude.
Dan she is also only 19 right now. She doesn't have a career of her own. If she had a career that paid a substantial amount of money I am sure she wouldn't be so willing to move around.
She doesn't though, so whats your point?
In fact, find me many other girls my age who make remotely close to my 150k..
In fact... I have a really hard time finding girls that make 100k...or even 50k...
So.. in the mean time.. I have a nice girl who cares virtually nothing about money and is willing to travel. Far better than some chick with a massive car loan and 40k in student loans with a "career" making 40k a year..
Ive dated ALL sorts of chicks. Pharmacists. 40 year old nurses, grad students, pre med students.. I've probably slept with more women than 99% of men.. yet the fact that ive picked this girl obviously says a lot about her and the fact I have zero problem meeting/dating/attracting women. Yet I always find it amusing when people make excuses about us being happy together. If I was some loser on here thats one thing, but based on my dating history thats not really the case.
I knew a guy (a real pretty boy) who was in his 30s. He was about 10 years older than me at the time I knew him. He was one of my roommates when I lived in Chicago.
One day I noticed he was gathering up his laundry. I needed to go to the laundromat and I asked him if he wanted to just go together.
Turns out, he was dropping his laundry off at one of his GF's houses so she could do his laundry for him, while he was gonna run off and spend time with a different GF.
This guy was in his 30s and literally didn't even know how to do laundry. He had always had women do it for him his whole life...his mother and sisters when he was growing up, then a string of girlfriends he played and strung along when he got older. I just kind of sat there in disbelief.
I also went to college with a guy who told me once he wanted to get married so he'd have a woman who'd make him breakfast and dinner every day and take care of his children. I told him "What do you think this is? Leave It To Beaver?"
I've also known a few guys who thought it was okay for men to cheat on their wives and girlfriends because "men have a stronger sex drive and more physical needs" while they would NEVER allow their partners to cheat or have relations outside their relationship.
This kind of thing is disgusting for me.
I feel my wife and I take care of each other. I've always tried to do my share of moral and mental support, cleaning, preparing meals, backrubs, taking care of the kids, etc.
I never planned or wanted to be with a woman so I'd have a built in maid or personal therapist.
Of course, guys like this won't come out and tell you that, but it's evident in their actions. They'll talk a good game and claim that they want an equal relationship, and even put on a good show for a while. These guys always have mommy issues or a harrowing tale about a crazy ex(es) that took advantage of them and ruined their life. Sometimes I think this is the M.O. of the guys that complain about "golddiggers". They go on and on about someone that took everything that they have, and of course you want to show them that you're "not that girl" so you bust your *ss trying to prove yourself. Before you know it, you're the one pulling full freight in the relationship.
I understand people wanting someone to "be there" for them even when times are bad. If someone is recovering from surgery or loses a job, yes, you help them. Sometimes one person in the relationship has to step up, and sometimes it's the other person. But, it's an ebb and flow. Not one person doing all the giving and one person doing all the taking. But, you have people out there for what ever reason that feel that they are entitled to get whatever they want - and neither gender has a monopoly on this attitude.
Mommy issues are HUGE. You find a man who has mommy issues, watch out. A lot of times it's hard to detect though. From the out side they look to have a loving mother son relationship. IME he was constant trying to please and gain approval from her. She abandoned him as a child and married a man who hated kids. It was an awful childhood and now this person basically hates women. You wouldn't know it at first though
I knew a guy (a real pretty boy) who was in his 30s. He was about 10 years older than me at the time I knew him. He was one of my roommates when I lived in Chicago.
One day I noticed he was gathering up his laundry. I needed to go to the laundromat and I asked him if he wanted to just go together.
Turns out, he was dropping his laundry off at one of his GF's houses so she could do his laundry for him, while he was gonna run off and spend time with a different GF.
This guy was in his 30s and literally didn't even know how to do laundry. He had always had women do it for him his whole life...his mother and sisters when he was growing up, then a string of girlfriends he played and strung along when he got older. I just kind of sat there in disbelief.
I also went to college with a guy who told me once he wanted to get married so he'd have a woman who'd make him breakfast and dinner every day and take care of his children. I told him "What do you think this is? Leave It To Beaver?"
I've also known a few guys who thought it was okay for men to cheat on their wives and girlfriends because "men have a stronger sex drive and more physical needs" while they would NEVER allow their partners to cheat or have relations outside their relationship.
This kind of thing is disgusting for me.
I feel my wife and I take care of each other. I've always tried to do my share of moral and mental support, cleaning, preparing meals, backrubs, taking care of the kids, etc.
I never planned or wanted to be with a woman so I'd have a built in maid or personal therapist.
What's wrong with that? Plenty of women would love to be a SAHM and would love to have a husband capable of making that happen. Why do you have such a problem with it?
Houston-Dan, just because you can attract pretty women to date does not make you successful or a "non-looser" in relationships. Dating and relationships are two entirely different beasts. What you have now seems to be a successful relationship, and people will have their opinions about it one way or another. If you two are happy, who you "can attract" is irrelevant. I wonder how your girlfriend would feel if she read that post.
What's wrong with that? Plenty of women would love to be a SAHM and would love to have a husband capable of making that happen. Why do you have such a problem with it?
Don't really have a problem with it at base. Some of it had to do with the fact that this specific guy was pretty vocally chauvinistic already.
If a couple want that kind of dynamic with the stay-at-home-mom and it works for them, I'm all for it.
THIS guy, however (and I should have been more clear) wasn't interested in a SAHM. He didn't want to be the sole provider; he just expected a woman to be the one who did all the cooking, cleaning and child care in a relationship.
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