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It's regarding my long distance ex bf (J) whom I've resumed contact about 2-3 months ago; well he called me or otherwise we still wouldn't be talking. Initially, I've stopped loving him and I was moving on with my life. The only reason I haven't with another man (I'm referring to a long term relationship with everything involve, including intimacy and sex) is because of my tight schedule and the fact that I wasn't interested in anyone from my workplace. I've gone on a couple dates but something always happened and it was either me losing interest, not being attracted to him physically or he stops calling suddenly.
J is the same guy I lost my V-card to way back in 2007 and we've been in different places since the ending of May of that year so that's quite a very long time of not seeing each other.
I started feeling some of the sparks back ever since he would called and remind me of our history, send me old pictures of us when we were younger; basically he sweet talked and suddenly I was back to feeling some love for him. But I don't know now. I see nothing but sweet talks and now I'm starting to wonder what it would be like being with another man. Yet, I told him that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with, etc. but now I'm not too sure anymore. My feelings for him goes in and out. It's like one day I can say something and the next day I don't feel it and so on while he has told me about never stop loving me.
Another part of me wonders what's it like being with being in a relationship and having sex with another man. I'm 26 and only had sex with J, no one else and this gets me thinking: if we were getting back together what if I start getting bored of that. Sometimes it goes kills me that he other had other gfs in the past while he's my first and only.
It's regarding my long distance ex bf (J) whom I've resumed contact about 2-3 months ago; well he called me or otherwise we still wouldn't be talking. Initially, I've stopped loving him and I was moving on with my life. The only reason I haven't with another man (I'm referring to a long term relationship with everything involve, including intimacy and sex) is because of my tight schedule and the fact that I wasn't interested in anyone from my workplace. I've gone on a couple dates but something always happened and it was either me losing interest, not being attracted to him physically or he stops calling suddenly.
J is the same guy I lost my V-card to way back in 2007 and we've been in different places since the ending of May of that year so that's quite a very long time of not seeing each other.
I started feeling some of the sparks back ever since he would called and remind me of our history, send me old pictures of us when we were younger; basically he sweet talked and suddenly I was back to feeling some love for him. But I don't know now. I see nothing but sweet talks and now I'm starting to wonder what it would be like being with another man. Yet, I told him that he was the one I wanted to spend my life with, etc. but now I'm not too sure anymore. My feelings for him goes in and out. It's like one day I can say something and the next day I don't feel it and so on while he has told me about never stop loving me.
Another part of me wonders what's it like being with being in a relationship and having sex with another man. I'm 26 and only had sex with J, no one else and this gets me thinking: if we were getting back together what if I start getting bored of that. Sometimes it goes kills me that he other had other gfs in the past while he's my first and only.
It kind of sounds like if he wasn't whispering sweet nothings in your ear, you wouldn't really be into him.
Try not to fall for someones words as much, and put more value on their actions.
Sounds like you are falling for a guy strictly based on phone convo's. At 26, you are an excellent age for dating and meeting new people. Wean the exbf (J) off. This long distance phone relationship is not helping you.
The thing about relationships is that they aren't amazing 100% of the time and if you are unable to accept that, then a relationship is probably not the best thing to seek out right now. At some point, you are going to be bored but it isn't with your partner, it's with you. You are just as responsible as your partner (whoever you choose now or in the future) to make sure that your relationship thrives. If you expect him to carry the weight and keep you interested, you are always going to be disappointed.
It kind of sounds like if he wasn't whispering sweet nothings in your ear, you wouldn't really be into him.
Try not to fall for someones words as much, and put more value on their actions.
Sounds like you are falling for a guy strictly based on phone convo's. At 26, you are an excellent age for dating and meeting new people. Wean the exbf (J) off. This long distance phone relationship is not helping you.
"It kind of sounds like if he wasn't whispering sweet nothings in your ear, you wouldn't really be into him. "
Sweet nothings and compliments go a long way to some women. Some women get none.
"This long distance phone relationship is not helping you"
^^True
Why is it so hard for virgins to let go their first. I suggest, you keep on moving on, and forget about him. Explore other men while you're still young and single.
Why is it so hard for virgins to let go their first. I suggest, you keep on moving on, and forget about him. Explore other men while you're still young and single.
I was already letting it go and moving on; I was doing fine but suddenly he calls out of the blues. Then goes on talking about our time together at the time and so on.
I didn't resume contact with him, he did. But thanks. I do want to meet other men.
I'm starting to find his conversations boring suddenly and it all seems nothing but words; no real actions such as bringing me something for Christmas or at least a birthday card....nothing just words about our memories and love for each other. I got bored the last time we talked and he started noticing I sounded different suddenly.
Long distance relationships suck, Ive had nothing but bad experiences in these types of relationships. Youre young, tell the guy to move on with his life, and find someone you can see and touch and date and fall in love with. Youre wasting your time, you should be dating different guys and having fun.
Long distance relationships suck, Ive had nothing but bad experiences in these types of relationships. Youre young, tell the guy to move on with his life, and find someone you can see and touch and date and fall in love with. Youre wasting your time, you should be dating different guys and having fun.
Thank you and I'll be doing that. He got me a bit weak for a short time but not anymore. What really got him was on our recent conversation when I told him ''What's more important to me now than anything else is finishing my major (and I meant it)''.
My father is also sick of words and no actions from him.
I was already letting it go and moving on; I was doing fine but suddenly he calls out of the blues. Then goes on talking about our time together at the time and so on.
I didn't resume contact with him, he did. But thanks. I do want to meet other men.
Why are you blaming him for this? You're the one that has kept the contact going. It's very simple. If you don't want to be with someone, don't be with them. Tell him that you do not want to be with him anymore. No more contact at all.
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