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Old 11-04-2013, 01:40 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,927 posts, read 59,955,675 times
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It sounds like you are the one calling a "personality" issue a "feminist" issue.

What is your role on the team EXACTLY? And how did you come to be in the group? This is important to the solution for your "problem."
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:43 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 764,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hivemind31 View Post
Dealing with different personalities is just an exercise in psychology. If you couldn't avoid them completely, you might have some success playing to the two difficult women's egos. Make a "dumb man" joke about yourself or whatever you think they'd respond to (as an example, but anything deferential would probably work). As for the rest of them, I'd expect that if they were reasonable, they'd accept the same explanation you gave us: That you grew up around cars and have an affinity for working with them.

If changing your tone around different personalities proves too exhausting (which is totally can), then the simpler, yet less effective, route is to just be yourself and let the difficult people deal with it on their own.
I would never talk bad about myself. I could probably just smile and wave around them but they don't like it when I correct other people that are my equals on the team. These two women aren't terrible either, just to the point I can tell they are getting offended when I know more than them or do something better than them. Then they are the ones in charge and can use their influence on the team against me.
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:53 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 764,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lilac110 View Post
The first part is a question of professionalism, so you talk to the women on your team the same way you would in any other professional situation: "I've found that a torque wrench doesn't work as a beaker bar--how about trying [this other thing] instead?"

There is no need to account for their gender here. Two X chromosomes don't automatically incline one toward using a torque wrench any particular way. There are probably a lot of young, less-experienced guys making the same mistake. Shading this in terms of gender is really a problem with your own perception of women.

As for meeting women this way, in your particular situation, where you are the only guy, if you start hitting on them you run the risk of looking like you joined the club knowing the ratio just to get laid, and you run the risk of being booted from the club.

Really, just treat women like human beings and not some sort of different species. It's not that difficult.
If I treat them like guys in a shop all hell is going to break loose. I am already really working on being more "sensitive" around them. With guys I am usually like "hey_____! hold on." Then I walk over there and explain the problem with what they are doing and why it is bad. Then I show them how to do it and ask if they have any questions. I am more of an established member with the mostly male groups/shops I work with so they have to listen to me but no one thinks I'm rude in those groups, even when I was new.

Its not all women either. Its just the ones that I can tell they feel they need to show they're better than me for whatever reason, even if they're not better at it. When there are guys like that I tell them to F-off and listen to me because I know what I'm doing. They eventually come around and realize I was right most the time. I can't imagine what would happen if I did that around the couple women that are being a problem.

As far as women on the team go I feel like some of them are being flirty with me already. So I don't think I need to hit on them to get anywhere with them.
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Old 11-04-2013, 01:57 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 764,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by AverageGuy2006 View Post
Simply, I wouldn't act any different than how I would behave around guys.
I don't know about you, but when I tell guys they are wrong, they don't like it.

I would let people make their own mistakes. Sometimes it is best to sit idle and CYA, opposed to tryin to be a boss when it isnt your place.
If people failing around you affects your overall grade, then if someone is about to break something, by all means, speak up. But for the most part, things like breaker bar vs torque wrench doesn't really matter for what you are doing.

That is what supervisors and text books are for. If people don't use tools properly, someone is bound to tell them.
But as I said, since you're not a boss, 'who gives a tooting anyway?'
The problem with using a torque wrench as a breaker bar is it can ruin the tool and it won't be accurate when you need to use it later. Then the car has a bunch of things that aren't torqued down right because they're not going to buy another torque wrench. So I feel that's a big problem.

I guess could just not care about the little things but I'm associated with the project so I want it to be nice.
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:00 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 764,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Frihed89 View Post
To the OP: When men talk about equal rights this makes them honorable, but when women do the same thing, that makes them "feminist".

Of course you wanted to **** women off.
Equal rights and being a pain are not the same thing. I'm talking about the annoying overly feminist types. The type of women who dislike men, think we've wronged them, and take offence to things I try to do to help them.

I'm talking about the women that think holding doors on dates is offensive for example. We all know that type. I really do not like those women. That's not wanting equal rights, that some sort if inferiority complex.
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:04 PM
 
4,698 posts, read 4,075,331 times
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Generally the majority wins, so just get everyone else on your side. But what do you do if it is a one on one encounter. Just tell them they are wrong and how to do it. If they say, I know what to do and you have no authority, then just leave the situation and let them do the mistake.

If it is a group work, then it is normal that all the work is approved by the other members.
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:07 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 764,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wmsn4Life View Post
It sounds like you are the one calling a "personality" issue a "feminist" issue.

What is your role on the team EXACTLY? And how did you come to be in the group? This is important to the solution for your "problem."
These two women are the same types that fit the stereotype of the pissed off feminist. I wouldn't be surprised if they demand to pay for dates and wouldn't let me open a door for them. They also tell a lot of stories where it somehow ends up being the guy's fault in the end. They really do have some sort of inferiority complex with men.

I am just a general team member. I have not been a part of this group for very long. My friends who are in this group have been on it for a while and they invited me so that I can help make the car better. I'm some sort of celebrity/ringer member that was brought on by my friends because the team really needs some help. They're just not in charge but they can see the issues that need to be addressed, they just don't know how.
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:22 PM
 
1,194 posts, read 1,399,799 times
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You're a "celebrity" now? Okay then. So far it sounds like you're a guy who is terrified that a girl is going to yell at him.
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:34 PM
 
Location: Indiana
448 posts, read 764,334 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JoeCollege View Post
You're a "celebrity" now? Okay then. So far it sounds like you're a guy who is terrified that a girl is going to yell at him.
I am not a "celebrity" like you're thinking. You know what a ringer is right? When you have a team that needs some help and they bring in some sort of star player, or maybe someone who played in some semi pro league is now playing in the minors. That's kind of what we have going on here. I'm just trying to convey what WMSN4LIFE wanted to know. My friends know I'm really good at this kind of thing and brought me to this group to help them do well.

I don't want to **** of the people in charge, they can make my experience on the team miserable. I want to help them and I want to meet people but if I'm going to have deal with a couple loud and angry women I'll just leave and go do my own thing.
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Old 11-04-2013, 02:38 PM
 
Location: Pittsburgh
29,746 posts, read 34,396,829 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by InternetTroll View Post
I don't want to **** of the people in charge, they can make my experience on the team miserable. I want to help them and I want to meet people but if I'm going to have deal with a couple loud and angry women I'll just leave and go do my own thing.
You're trying to make this a gender thing when it's really more about a team thing. You were brought in for your mechanical expertise, but that doesn't mean you can steamroll the team leaders who sound like they're a bit possessive of their project. If you're truly presenting your ideas as trying to make the project the best it can be (and not as a pushy know-it-all telling people what to do) they'll come around.
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