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What kind of moron tries to smother himself? I wonder if he used a pillow. Weird. It says alot when a guy is so stupid he can't even commit suicide. I'm sorry but I am just crackin up over this one. I can just hear it...I tried to smother myself...but...when I passed out the pillow fell off my face and I woke up. And any guy that tries to kill himself over a woman really deserves to be dead. What this world does not need is guys like that, breeding and producing offspring that are gonna be just as bad or worse. I truly hope your sis wakes the hell up.
I almost laughed in her face when she told me that. "Smothering? Really? BWHAHAHAHAH!" He lives in a house with his grandmother and aunt, both of whom are on schedule-II medication, I'm pretty sure he owns a firearm....but he chooses to mash a pillow into his face....whatever.
Quote:
Originally Posted by miu
Actually, I think that forward progress is being made. Your sister now sees the crazy in him. After all, didn't she tell him to seek mental health treatment?
The best thing that you can do now is just stop talking about him to your sister. The last thing you can tell her is that you love her and that she can always turn to you for your help. You don't want her to feel like if she breaks up with him, you are going to tell her "I told you so", no one likes being told that. And the other people that can get away with that is your parents. Just be her supportive sister. Make sure that she knows that you will support her decisions no matter what.
You have clearly delivered your message. Now just step back and hope that she doesn't get pregnant. Let her infatuation for him run its course. And you fighting it will only prolong the issue. He's her first big crush plus add in the normal rebelliousness of youth. You can't protect her from her mistakes. And making and surviving our mistakes are what gives us older people our wisdom. You can't live her life for her.
She sees the crazy...but is convinced she can "fix him."
You actually quoted my mother's stance on this..."you can't live her life for her." And you're both right. My parents have achieved a sort of peace with this, but I, working in public safety, have seen the worst in these kinds of scenarios, so I can't help but worry.
I think that you are being a great sister. I think that now you should just try to spend quality time with her, do some girl stuff with her at least once a week and just focus on being good company for her. Maybe even once in a while, you can have her hang out with a group of your friends and just happen to have some great single guys there too. Not to matchmake, but more to remind her that there are guys out there that don't need fixing. If she has a tendency to having a soft heart, the two of you should do some volunteer work together. Animal shelters have dogs that need to be walked and seniors could use company and hot meals delivered to them. I think that the more your sister sees of the world, the less she will think it important to save her boyfriend. You sister has a strong compassion streak in her, help her to put it to better use.
I'm glad that your parents are stepping back from this. You've all made your best efforts with her, so let her be and if she falls, as long as she knows you will accept her no matter what, it's all good. Just don't tell her that you all told her so. She clearly knows that, and it's also not important that you were right and she was wrong. All that matters is that you are all a family and that you love each other unconditionally.
So? Most of us at 20 made lousy relationship choices, and survived just fine. Yeah, maybe it hurt for a while, but then you pick yourself and move on and try again. And actually, I'm very glad that I didn't meet Mr. Right at 20 because I would have gotten married way too soon. I like the way my life has unfolded and developed. Life is too precious and short to be a wife for most of it.
So? Most of us at 20 made lousy relationship choices, and survived just fine. Yeah, maybe it hurt for a while, but then you pick yourself and move on and try again. And actually, I'm very glad that I didn't meet Mr. Right at 20 because I would have gotten married way too soon. I like the way my life has unfolded and developed. Life is too precious and short to be a wife for most of it.
I was dating a loser myself and no one could point it out to me, not his probation officer, not my therapist, not the police. Yeah you can see the road this went down. He was just good enough to keep me going for three years.
When my family refused to let him come to their houses, I didn't go either. So being mean didn't work. I stayed close to one sister who listened to me, and eventually thanks to the therapist and her I went to Alanon and saw everyone else in my situation, and found another way. You have to find the new way yourself, and protect yourself from him. I can now see why they did that. Wow. This is a good post.
I was dating a loser myself and no one could point it out to me, not his probation officer, not my therapist, not the police. Yeah you can see the road this went down. He was just good enough to keep me going for three years.
When my family refused to let him come to their houses, I didn't go either. So being mean didn't work. I stayed close to one sister who listened to me, and eventually thanks to the therapist and her I went to Alanon and saw everyone else in my situation, and found another way. You have to find the new way yourself, and protect yourself from him. I can now see why they did that. Wow. This is a good post.
This thread is 4 years old. I hope she dumped him by now
Why, why does someone bring up threads that are waaayyy old. This thread is almost 4 years old. Let it die. This sister is probably with someone else or married by now.
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