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You post this cryptic nonsense then give people a hard time because they can't guess what the heck is going on. You're just an attention-seeking baby. Grow up!
I don't really know the OP's posting history (only that I see him here on CDR a lot), but could it be that all the "cryptic nonsense" is because he really doesn't know? Could it be that the question caused him to pause and question himself and his motives? Could it be that he's not really an [jerk], and that he's trying to figure out why he can't answer the question?
I don't know. Maybe he is, but it seems like a lot of people jump all over someone when they don't fit neatly into the reality they know. I think that speaks more about the responder than the OP...
Edit: But I do think your previous response was spot-on. You said "We all have a basic human need to love, companionship, affection, support, etc. It isn't complicated." /edit
Anyway, the question is in fact cryptic, because what I've come to realize is that the answer is different for everyone. So you have to ask yourself, and might have to be comfortable with the fact that there is no definitive answer to it.
For me, it's partly friendship and support. It's partly sex. It's partly someone to share my life with, good and bad. And sadly, it's probably partly to not be alone in this world.
I've asked myself the same questions a lot lately. It's a moving target and I don't ever plan on totally figuring it out.
It was a dumb question. We all have a basic human need to love, companionship, affection, support, etc. It isn't complicated.
Ignore the posters here who are trying to shame you. I rarely see such sour reactions when women say "I don't need a man!"
Why is that ok? Yet men can't feel the same way. Women can be good for many things. You just have to decide if having that woman is worth the guaranteed drama that will come with her.
Let’s quit berating the OP for asking a very insightful and fundamental question, shall we? Just because most people never analytically delve into the fundamentals, does not mean that the answer is glaringly obvious! Quite the contrary, the failure to ask more likely implies failure to comprehend, living on autopilot.
Yes, most people “fall in love”, get married and have kids. This is the ubiquitous norm. So? Prevalence of a behavior does not make it optimal, or even right. Not long ago, it was universally assumed that people can be quite obviously classified into vastly different strata, with the lower strata having the natural position of slaves to the higher. The higher, conveniently enough, built up a doctrine of divine sanction for their position, as if they were doing a favor to the lower, by placing them into their natural role. Today we regard this viewpoint as abhorrent and vile. Not long ago, it was perfectly normal in most cultures for men to take several wives simultaneously – not merely for the husband’s personal convenience of satisfaction of his lechery, but quite literally for the supposed benefit of the wives. This too we now regard as abhorrent and vile.
So why do we suppose that without “over analyzing”, a young fellow should find a girl, fall in love with her, marry her and have kids? Perhaps in a distant future we shall come to believe that children should be conceived in incubators and bred in specialized facilities by licensed experts. “Brave New World”? Maybe. But let’s please dispense with the hubris that today’s norms are somehow enlightened and self-evident, while the past was barbaric and so-called dystopian future would be a return to barbarism. Maybe we in the present are the grossest barbarians? Maybe love-based marriages are the height of stupidity and indicative of a civilization in decline?
The crux of the OP’s question is whether the close association of two people producing mutual pleasure is necessarily an optimal solution, or merely an evanescent contrivance that satisfies our cravings, but at some potentially nefarious cost. If a person has sexual cravings for another, by no means is it necessary that they are in love. And even if they are, by no means is it necessary that they SHOULD be in love! I don’t assert that analytical solution is possible. But lack of closure does not obviate the importance of asking such questions.
Further, what indeed is the point of struggling to find, meet, attract and retain a person in romantic partnership? To make babies? That is neither necessary nor sufficient. Peer-pressure – because “everyone else is doing it”? Cravings and desire? Somebody might have cravings to punch in the face a person who offended them, or to drive at 200 mph on a public highway. But we curtail our desires, choosing instead the risk-averse route. Why not do the same with relationships? This is not a trivial question. It begs close scrutiny, not derisive dismissal as disingenuous or too obvious.
Ignore the posters here who are trying to shame you. I rarely see such sour reactions when women say "I don't need a man!"
Why is that ok? Yet men can't feel the same way. Women can be good for many things. You just have to decide if having that woman is worth the guaranteed drama that will come with her.
Or, just find a woman who is relatively drama free.
My guy is WAY more dramatic than I am... his friends have mentioned it several times.
And I think the 'I don't need a man' stuff is a bit different because for a VERY long time, women had to depend on men simply to live. They weren't allowed to support themselves (or vote, or get a credit card in their name, or rent an apartment, or buy a house etc etc) without a man giving permission.
And I think the 'I don't need a man' stuff is a bit different because for a VERY long time, women had to depend on men simply to live. They weren't allowed to support themselves (or vote, or get a credit card in their name, or rent an apartment, or buy a house etc etc) without a man giving permission.
This...
Basically back then, we were into either ''You get marry, bear kids and let him provide for you'' or ''You might as well live under a bridge''. It was either housewife or no life. Things have obviously changed and being a housewife is not a ''Must do'' now but optional.
Regardless, we still like to share our life with a male companion that later on becomes our life partner. Even with all the options given, we still like getting into relationships.
She gets upset at me because I don't let her help me more than she already does. Hence the whole 'why do you even want me around?' question...
She said she can't stand there and watch me suffer...
I feel like she's only staying with me because she doesn't want to add on to everything going on in my life...
But it's not fair to her...
So I don't know anymore...just feeling bad right now.
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