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Some things to consider. Also, post you own views as well--- Have people gone overboard with their expectations and requirements? Have people priced themselves out of the market? Did feminism kill relationships? Is it about competing with each other more so than helping each other?
Let's talk
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Today, I think people have more options. The more options one has, the less likely one is going to accept an unacceptable situation, e.g. an unhappy relationship.
THey were not all successful in their marriages, the "good ole days" were not perfect but they were better than today. First our grandparents did not have to try and save money on "McJobs" Grandfathers likely had a good job to support a big family, and as long as you wanted to work and worked hard you could obtain a job like that. Grandmothers were largely satisfied to raise children and keep house, so families were more tight nit. Did everyone have a role they were stuck with?? yes they did, the man had to "bring home the bacon" and the woman of the house stuck being June Cleaver. To a modern person this sounds so mundane and horrible but most of them had very good lives, much better lives than we are stuck with today. Another thing they had that lacks today is values and work ethic. They were not centered on themselves, they could live without if need be and they would be more willing to sacrifice for others. They were not made soft by all this technology we have, they were tougher people. They did not hook up with the cute girl at work just because they could, they were more likely to honor their vows even when tempted. They believed in God, and worshiped him every Sunday. In short they were more equipped to deal with life, they followed life's instruction manual (The Bible) and for that reason their marriages could weather life storms better than today.
Some of the advantages they had we cannot take advantage of. We will never have the access to good jobs they had, our politicians and corporations sold us out to offshoring decades ago and we will never have their prosperity. That does not mean however we cannot learn from their values. The values of hard work, frugality, loyalty, selflessness and most of all Christian values can be applied to our lives. If both parties of a marriage follow these values its a good bet they will see many decades married just like Grandma and Grandpa did.
... back when most of our grandparents were married they were taught to work hard on their marriage, and personal fulfillment did not seem like such a big deal.
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Originally Posted by JoeCollege
What is so noble about staying in a bad marriage?
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Originally Posted by RogersParkGuy
... and because expectations of happiness within marriages was very low. Do you want to go back to those days? I don't.
My view is that loyalty and perseverance are laudable virtues, period. This applies in marriage, in friendship, in employment, in national identity. My view is that today we view relationships of all kinds as tenuous and contingent, devaluing loyalty and instead exalting dynamism and the seeking of optimal solutions.
I would prefer to live in a society where bad employees can’t easily be fired, and bad employers can’t easily be left. Others might prefer a more market-oriented approach, where superstar employees hop from employer to employer, shopping for the best compensation package, while sluggard employees are jettisoned at will, to improve the bottom-line.
I would prefer to retain my friends even if they treat me poorly, and for them to retain my friendship even if I behave as a recalcitrant jerk. Others would prefer a more dynamic social system, where people merge their lives based on lifestyle and interests, and separate them once those interests diverge.
To me it seems that today we demand more from our lives, our jobs, our marriages, and ourselves. But do we actually obtain more? We place individual happiness in prime position, but are we happier? We seek to be entertained, stimulated, fulfilled. But are we? Instead, I would opine that it is precisely by expecting less, that we obtain more. We are happier in direct proportion to how much further we lower the proverbial bar.
My grandparents were born around 1900. They did not divorce, not because divorce was taboo, or their marriages were blissfully idyllic, but because they realized that the seeking of improvement is futile, and that the wisest course is steadfast perseverance.
Or, people just lived miserable lives. If you want to call that noble and good for kids, knock yourself out but it's your opinion, not a fact.
Exactly.
My parents and grandparents (I only knew one set) led miserable lives. Both stayed married for decades.
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Originally Posted by Djuna
I don't believe relationships were ever more successful back then. Women simply didn't have the means to escape a miserable marriage and social etiquette frowned on divorcees.
You nailed it.
I wish my mother would have divorced my worthless father and raised my brother and I on her own.
Our grandparents were very successful at making relationships work for 30,40,50 and even 60 years of marriage.
My grandmother was a nurse and my grandfather was a welder for the Navy ship yard. They had a very good life. Lived very well and saved a lot of money too. Put 5 kids through college and helped each child secure their first home. My grandparents had a great grasp on what life was about. I'm sure your grandparents were similar to mine, in that regard.
My parents have been married for over 40 years. I remember my mom telling me that she and my dad met in college back in the late 60's. She approached him, and, well as they say, the rest is history.
Seems like, even with the top 10 dating websites, Meetups, forums, social media, people are finding it very difficult to connect with each other.
I know many guys that have just about given up on dating or attempting to find a gal to date, let alone get married to.
Some things to consider. Also, post you own views as well--- Have people gone overboard with their expectations and requirements?
Have people priced themselves out of the market?
Did feminism kill relationships?
Is it about competing with each other more so than helping each other?
Let's talk
NOTE:I AM NOT SEEKING ADVICE. I AM POSING A QUESTION FOR DISCUSSION.
Feminist destroyed marriage, by telling women they don't "need a man". Also women's expectations of marriage is based on disney cartoons and chick flicks, as opposed to our grandparents who had realistic expectations and each gender knew their place and role in the relationship.
Our grandparents were very successful at making relationships work for 30,40,50 and even 60 years of marriage.
My grandmother was a nurse and my grandfather was a welder for the Navy ship yard. They had a very good life. Lived very well and saved a lot of money too. Put 5 kids through college and helped each child secure their first home. My grandparents had a great grasp on what life was about. I'm sure your grandparents were similar to mine, in that regard.
My parents have been married for over 40 years. I remember my mom telling me that she and my dad met in college back in the late 60's. She approached him, and, well as they say, the rest is history.
Seems like, even with the top 10 dating websites, Meetups, forums, social media, people are finding it very difficult to connect with each other.
I know many guys that have just about given up on dating or attempting to find a gal to date, let alone get married to.
Some things to consider. Also, post you own views as well--- Have people gone overboard with their expectations and requirements?
Have people priced themselves out of the market?
Did feminism kill relationships?
Is it about competing with each other more so than helping each other?
Let's talk
NOTE:I AM NOT SEEKING ADVICE. I AM POSING A QUESTION FOR DISCUSSION.
There are still women out there who just want a husband that is a good provider and good father and they will love him to death.
Feminist destroyed marriage, by telling women they don't "need a man". Also women's expectations of marriage is based on disney cartoons and chick flicks, as opposed to our grandparents who had realistic expectations and each gender knew their place and role in the relationship.
Your simplistic views are not based on truth. Feminism is about equality, not about not needing a man or hating men or anything other silly reason you and your ilk like to dream up.
The problem is that, if you weren't married by your mid 20s back then, you started to be seen as suspicious. Marrying was seen as any other social duty. What you truly wanted to yourself was at the bottom of the list or didn't even exist.
They were "successful" because women didn't have twitter and fake google numbers back then. Men didn't have to worry about getting taken to the cleaners back then in a divorce. Everybody knew their role. Today women expect for the men to continue to be traditional but if you ask them to make you some biscuits from scratch they will look at you crazy
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