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I contacted a woman tonight who recently started a profile on POF.com. I tried to contact her on Sunday and told her that I am single, never married, and I don't have any kids. Her profile even says that she lives in the same city as me. I asked her if she knows of any wine tasting events in town. She didn't reply to any of my messages on Sunday.
As it turns out, I exchanged messages with her tonight. She actually replied to my messages tonight. She even apologized to not responding to my messages on Sunday. However, there is a problem. She doesn't even live in the same city as me! She said that she actually lives an hour away from the city where I live, although her profile says that her city is the same city as mine. She said that she doesn't want anyone from work to know that she is on a dating site. How am I going to see her often if she lives an hour away from me? She says that she can drive to my city since there is lots of things to do there, and nothing to do where she is at. But let's be honest. If the woman doesn't feel like driving, she will ask the guy to come to her. Women always have the upper hand on dating sites. I know that I won't be able to see her as often as I would like to even if things worked out, because she lives an hour away from me (about 68 miles). Should I continue to date someone who lives an hour away from me especially if she wasn't honest about it on her profile?
Why don't you have a first date with her, and see if you're interested? Hold her to her offer of driving to see you, or meet her halfway in the middle, if that's an option. See how things go.
Women online often have to lie about minor details for safety reasons. If you don't know that, and especially since you find it so upsetting even though she told you the truth immediately, you might not be ready to date anyone yet.
Women online often have to lie about minor details for safety reasons. If you don't know that, and especially since you find it so upsetting even though she told you the truth immediately, you might not be ready to date anyone yet.
Right on! I was going to add this to my earlier post: she explained right off the bat that she had to put down a false location, and why, so you know she's honest and upfront. Or you should, but you're not taking that into consideration. Loosen up and enjoy the process of getting to know her. You may be pleasantly surprised, if you can relax enough to appreciate her.
I contacted a woman tonight who recently started a profile on POF.com. I tried to contact her on Sunday and told her that I am single, never married, and I don't have any kids. Her profile even says that she lives in the same city as me. I asked her if she knows of any wine tasting events in town. She didn't reply to any of my messages on Sunday.
As it turns out, I exchanged messages with her tonight. She actually replied to my messages tonight. She even apologized to not responding to my messages on Sunday. However, there is a problem. She doesn't even live in the same city as me! She said that she actually lives an hour away from the city where I live, although her profile says that her city is the same city as mine. She said that she doesn't want anyone from work to know that she is on a dating site. How am I going to see her often if she lives an hour away from me? She says that she can drive to my city since there is lots of things to do there, and nothing to do where she is at. But let's be honest. If the woman doesn't feel like driving, she will ask the guy to come to her. Women always have the upper hand on dating sites. I know that I won't be able to see her as often as I would like to even if things worked out, because she lives an hour away from me (about 68 miles). Should I continue to date someone who lives an hour away from me especially if she wasn't honest about it on her profile?
My BF lives an hour away from me (54 miles), and I think it's perfect. We've been together over 4 years now. I don't see any problem with her saying she lived somewhere else...it's a privacy thing and I totally understand. If it's too far for you then just tell her that. No big deal. But I would at least meet her and see what happens.
I contacted a woman tonight who recently started a profile on POF.com. I tried to contact her on Sunday and told her that I am single, never married, and I don't have any kids. Her profile even says that she lives in the same city as me. I asked her if she knows of any wine tasting events in town. She didn't reply to any of my messages on Sunday.
As it turns out, I exchanged messages with her tonight. She actually replied to my messages tonight. She even apologized to not responding to my messages on Sunday. However, there is a problem. She doesn't even live in the same city as me! She said that she actually lives an hour away from the city where I live, although her profile says that her city is the same city as mine. She said that she doesn't want anyone from work to know that she is on a dating site. How am I going to see her often if she lives an hour away from me? She says that she can drive to my city since there is lots of things to do there, and nothing to do where she is at. But let's be honest. If the woman doesn't feel like driving, she will ask the guy to come to her. Women always have the upper hand on dating sites. I know that I won't be able to see her as often as I would like to even if things worked out, because she lives an hour away from me (about 68 miles). Should I continue to date someone who lives an hour away from me especially if she wasn't honest about it on her profile?
Are you serious??
If she read this she would have a shocked face on.
Who cares?? If I gave you cross roads but not the exact address you going to jump up and down cause I 'wasn't honest?'
An hour is nothing. You could meet half way.
There are plenty of options but you make up this 'women get everything' garbage I would warn her not to waste her gas.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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An hour is kind of far. It is common to put something like Chicago or Boston when you live in the near suburbs, but another city an hour away? Nope, dealbreaker. I want someone I could actually see for dinner on a work night reasonably. I also don't want to deal with the privacy perception thing, unless she has a stalker or something, I just don't get it. And, you know, probably wouldn't want to go there. If they have some sort of shame about online dating I wouldn't want to meet them.
Another dealbreaker is lying about your age for "search" reasons. Yeah, we get it, you think you look and feel younger than your chronological age. Who the heck doesn't.
An hour is kind of far. It is common to put something like Chicago or Boston when you live in the near suburbs, but another city an hour away?
I don't know where you live but where I come from (the Philadelphia area), the suburbs ARE still within an hour's drive from the city. My parents live about an hour out from Philly and are considered in the "suburbs". Some people have an hour (or more!) commute into work/school every weekday.
Furthermore, the OP never actually says this women lives in another "city", she very well may be in a small town in the suburbs and thought that if she put the name of her town, no one would have heard of it. I've never actually lived IN Philadelphia but that is usually where I tell people I'm from.
In my opinion, an hour may not be ideal especially if/when the relationship progresses to something more serious but it's more than possible to see someone regularly when they are only an hour away. At the very least, you could see them every weekend.
Quote:
She says that she can drive to my city since there is lots of things to do there, and nothing to do where she is at. But let's be honest. If the woman doesn't feel like driving, she will ask the guy to come to her.
And why shouldn't she, on occasion? A relationship should be a give and take, both partners should be putting in the same amount of effort. Why should she always have to drive to you? When it comes down to it, if you're not prepared to drive an hour to see her, you shouldn't date her but I think it's being a bit picky. What if this woman winds up being perfect for you in every other way? Wouldn't that be worth an hours drive? When I fell in love with my husband, he lived in another COUNTRY for God's sake... I would have been thrilled to be only an hour drive from him.
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Right on! I was going to add this to my earlier post: she explained right off the bat that she had to put down a false location, and why, so you know she's honest and upfront. Or you should, but you're not taking that into consideration. Loosen up and enjoy the process of getting to know her. You may be pleasantly surprised, if you can relax enough to appreciate her.
