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I have my 2 kids. I think what was worse was losing my mom on Christmas eve in 2000. Christmas was not the same for me until about 2 years ago. We will see what this year brings. Right now times are tough, but my very being is in much better shape than it has been in many years.
No black friday for me, but I do need another car, my headgasket has BLOWN.
Coldwine, all you have to do is read C-D for a while to see that everyone who is married or in a r'ship is not happy. All the "have you bought XX for your SO?" stuff is just advertising--trying to wring money out of people who may or may not even like their SO's. So just decide to enjoy the season for the good things it offers and stop comparing your situation with other, imaginary situations. There are plenty of people on here who would trade situations with you in a second.
There's a song by Robert Earl Keen called "The Family Christmas" or something. It's very funny and starts out "Mom got drunk and Dad got drunk, at our Christmas party..." You should find it and listen if you're not familiar with it. LOTS of people don't enjoy a Hallmark Christmas.
FWIW, I am happily married with a great kid and I still don't enjoy the season very much. I hate the pressure to buy and spend.
Location: Life here is not an Apollo Mission. Everyone calm down.
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When I was very unhappily married, I would beach myself on the chaise lounge on my front porch and watched the three village homes across the street from me.
Each quaint bungalow was occupied by one single middle-aged woman. In the summer they tended their flower beds, in the winter they decorated their tiny homes 'ala country Christmas. I envied them for years.
Fast forward seven years and I moved out, only three houses away on our last $100. I had a bed and a fork, but the house was my dream house...beautiful front porch with gingerbread and a white picket fence. That was in December of 2000. My first Christmas tree as a single woman, was a grapevine tree my parents had made; I sat it on a steamer trunk my great-grandmother had brought over from Scotland to the U.S. to reunite with my great-grandfather.
In the summertime, I tend my flower beds and tourists stop and take photos. In the winter, I decorate the house in country Christmas. My family does not shop, we create. Hand knitting, photo scrapbooks displaying the best of that year, etc. I work Christmas...because to me Christmas is not just one day, it's an entire month and wild horses can't keep me from racing home, dimming the lights, lighting candles and praying I won't be disturbed.
That's how I feel about being single at Christmas. I wished for it and I got exactly what I asked for.
Don't hate Christmas, just reinvent it's importance to you.
I just ignore the hype, I've spent christmas at work on night shift alone many times, I just don't let it bother me lifes to short to stress over things you can't change.
Well, I was happier single just renting a dozen movies and holing in my condo ... than I was married and going to see my in-laws for the holidays. (For me, it was heart-attack inducing stress). But I definitely relate to the original poster - when you watch commercials on tv, it seems like 99.99% of the population is happily married with a couple of perfect children.
Christmas is always a sad time of year since my husband passed away. We were married on Christmas Eve so that makes it an anniversary we won't have together. He loved Christmas and would spend hours decorating and moving ornaments to make it just right.
I put up a tree for the last 3 years, more for the grandkids than for me.
I always loved Christmas time, but now that I am alone it just isn't the same. My daughter wants me to put up a tree this year but I am not sure I want to since it is no fun to decorate the tree alone.
The last Christmas we had together he gave me an engagement ring, he spent hours looking for just the right one, because he had never given me a real engagement ring.
Last edited by Keeper; 11-23-2007 at 04:45 PM..
Reason: edited
I've spent the last 16 years single for the holidays. Never bothered me. Of course I've worked for every one of those Christmas'. But I put up a nice tree every year, and put a few gifts under it for others before I leave for 2 weeks of work. It's gotten where Christmas is just another day for me. But I don't let that...or commercials get me down.
Rance, you have such common sense. If everyone was like you all the therapists would be out of business and self-help books wouldn't sell!.
Hey, Im single but I dont hate holidays, its just another day to me, a merchants holiday! If family plans something where my presence is required (figure of speech, lol) then I'll go, but am just as content taking myself to a movie or the truckstop for the all-you-can-eat buffet.
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and self-help books wouldn't sell!.
