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I don't know you, but I don't think this makes you a bad person. I think it proves you're human. I've done the very same thing you're talking about. It's maddening. And it rarely ends ... neatly.
Like I said, fix your home life. End it if necessary. Focus on that.
At work, stop the staring and the touching and the flirting. Be professional.
Never dip your pen in company ink and besides she is married. If she were single and you didn't care about your career, I would say go for it. She is married and if her hubby finds out, he could be a crazy ex inmate felon who would attack you or something. You never know.
Ask her out and tell her what you feel. This should open up the communication and end the speculation. Either you have been misreading her "signals" out of lust or she is unhappy in her marriage and looking for options.
If you starting hooking up with the chick at work, it will mess everything up as far as the job goes. Not that I would do it anyway, but if you do it, you should make sure you longer work in the same department. It would mess things up job-wise with the tension and all.
If you keep talking to her, at least find out if she is separated or getting divorced or something. If my wife cheated on me, I don't know what I would do, but it wouldn't end up good. For the dude.
As far as the girlfriend goes, you might have to dump her already.
Just my two cents. I would at least be glad that the coworker was into me.
I don't know you, but I don't think this makes you a bad person. I think it proves you're human. I've done the very same thing you're talking about. It's maddening. And it rarely ends ... neatly.
Like I said, fix your home life. End it if necessary. Focus on that.
At work, stop the staring and the touching and the flirting. Be professional.
Just ... walk away.
I agree!!! Walk away. This woman is trouble. Your job is more important.
I don't think you're a bad person. It happens a lot. But you have to use your BRAIN and be rational and shut it down. Don't linger with her after work. Do your job, communicate with her only when required for work. If you never put yourself into a situation where cheating could happen, then it won't happen. She has a husband. Maybe she even has kids. She is unavailable to you even if she is interested. Think how this could affect your job. Think about the hurt you could cause to her husband/family. And think about your girlfriend! Please get out of your relationship if you're unhappy. There will be other women out there for you, but your coworker is not the right one.
[quote=throwaway007;32461510]I sincerely appreciate everyones input, even if you guys probably think that I am a bad guy.
I haven't said you are a bad guy. What I was saying is that you lack the understanding of what you are contemplating. You WOULD be a bad guy if you understood the hurt you would put on her and her family by pursuing this woman and then did it anyway.
The problems would come when you were found out. As others in your thread have tried to warn you, getting involved with a married woman at work is a very bad idea. Why go there? She's NOT AVAILABLE!!
You can help it if you feel "that way." As has been said, step back, take a breath and remember that this is not a good situation. Consider this: If you were to go ahead and start an affair, you would get caught sooner or later and spend a lot of time trying to clean up the crappy fallout. Then your reputation would be shot and any woman with a moral compass and half a brain would not have anything to do with you. People talk, you know.
If you are not going to consider the advice that you asked for, I can only conclude that you really just wanted someone to make it OK for you to do what you probably know is a bad idea.
An ex of mine got involved with a co-worker. They were both married. Needless to say, it did not end well. It was strictly casual for him, but she became very attached and obsessed. His marriage was already ending, but that is what propelled he and his ex to divorce. It was a sh*t-storm all-around.
Shut that sh*t down. Keep it strictly work related and platonic.
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Stop torturing yourself
