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Some partners will feel threatened, others will not. The ball is really in the man's court as to how he handles the situation with his partner. I don't think there are any absolutes. What I know from personal experience in such situations is that a man doesn't want to let it come to a showdown between himself and his wife...if he loves his wife...I don't care what the grounds is for her lack of acceptance. If he's got to have both, then he may end up with an either/or ultimatum, or a truely resentful partner for many, many years.
This is a spin-off to the "is being friends with a married man a problem" thread. That thread has gone on so long and is a lot to wade through so I thought I'd start a new one.
Quick recap: In the other post, the woman is younger, single and a coworker of approx two years, being friends with an older, married coworker. They used to eat lunch together every day and she started joining him at a local pub/bar for drinks after work every day. She also knows pretty intimate details of his married life, and the two of them have tried to push the friendship on the wife who is not happy with the friendship.
My question: Do you believe that when you met, where you met, or how long you've known someone plays a factor in the success of opposite sex friendships?
I tend to believe it does matter. I don't view all friendships on the same level. My SO has one particular female friend he's known for 22 years now. She long pre-dates me in his life, I understand the nature of their friendship, she includes me as part of her friendship with him rather than ignoring me and only focusing on my SO, and they don't behave in a way that would make me distrustful of their friendship.
In the other post, the marriage long pre-dates the friendship, and honestly, I really feel that it's no wonder the wife isn't happy, because it's a pretty close and intimate friendship for people who are office coworkers, let alone with one being married and one being single.
I know there are people who disagree with that, but I think the timing of when you make friends of the opposite sex, and whether or not you are in a relationship or married, does impact the success of these friendships.
Hope we can keep this civil because this is one topic where people tend to be on very opposite sides with their views and aren't going to change anyone's mind.
As a married person you realize somethings, even people are not wroth jeopardizing the trust and love you have built with your partner, not worth the risk, for a few moments of attention and bliss with another........The best advice I could ever give another married person, never talk about your private matter or doing with your spouse/ yourself to outsider's, if you really do need to voice, go to a close family member or friend of the same sex, someone who really does have your best interest at heart! Like anything (marriage) you must guard it!
In my experience, and opinion, it's difficult for men and women who are close in age to spend a lot of time together socially and not have feelings that can stray into the romantic realm, whether it's a good idea or not. Add alcohol and a (rightfully in my opinion) indignant spouse...and you've got trouble.
I dunno. I have male friends that are just...
I like them as people, but there isn't enough booze in the world to make them look good for sex or a relationship to me.
My best male friend, I have known since we were 18-year old freshmen in college, so almost twenty years. Our relationship has never been anything but totally platonic, and has lasted through ourliving at times a thousand miles apart, through both of us being in relationships and my being engaged. My fiance likes him as well, and this past year, thought to invite him to Thanksgiving Dinner before II even thought to.
Just remember ... a shoulder to cry on is a di*k to ride on...
Omg! I scared the dog from laughing so hard!!!
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