What can I realistically expect to get out of online dating? (friends, couple)
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Wow. Basic math skills lacking much? If somebody slept with a different person every couple of weeks, they'd have over 100 in just four years. I thought your cutoff was more like 10, which could be as little as one partner per year for someone in their 20s.
Care to share where you got your Ph.D. in psychology?
First off I explained that earlier. I don't have a cut off I was just giving an idea of what a lot it versus not. With that I'm assuming there are some relationships, dry spells, busy times at school, and family vacations in there. So then maybe in the 3 years she's been at school only 12 months she's actually single and free. Maybe she has 4 real relationships averaging 6 months over those 3 years. If we say 12-15 is approaching a lot, that's more than one a month.
What you're saying is correct, but it really doesn't work because people treat sexual opportunities as independent events. It isn't like ok, I have a 50% chance at each encounter of encountering a STI, and I need to keep my overall chance at below 87.5%, so I'll say yes to opportunity A and B, but say no to C, and then be ok with D. It isn't realistic. One treats each opportunity as self contained events.
Not really. I think most intelligent people say "look if I'm sleeping around I increase my chances of getting an std". I think that stops a lot of people from just hooking up.
You've yet to explain what your point is that you're expecting me to counter. One can't counter sheer idiocy or lunacy, at least not in a way that satisfies the idiot or loon. There needs to be a point before there can be a counterpoint.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skinnyfat
If we say 12-15 is approaching a lot, that's more than one a month.
Sure, for a kid who just lost their virginity a year ago. For a young-ish adult that's less than one per year, which is practically nothing.
Your argument is that a person's number of sexual partners means more than jack squat. My obvious counter argument, which would be shared by most rational people, is that you're 100% full of BS. If you told me the sky was green, would I need to give you details of my counter argument that it is, in fact, blue? Or would you just look at it and see?
More BS. You clearly don't even understand basic arithmetic or research design, let alone statistics, based on the drivel you've posted here.
You're the one that thought someone could have 10 sexual partners by the time they were 20 by only dating one person a year, explain that awful math to me?
If I claimed the sky was green and you said it was blue I could look outside and test the theory the sky is blue. Its a lot more involved to try and find data that anyone could use to compare sexual history to morals.
I think most people would agree with me that the amount of people someone has slept with says something about them. Especially at my age when there hasn't been that much time to form relationships with more than maybe 8-9 people. At what point do you think most people would say the number of partners is an issue? 50? 100? 300?
BTW calling BS isn't a counter argument, its just childish.
You've yet to explain what your point is that you're expecting me to counter. One can't counter sheer idiocy or lunacy, at least not in a way that satisfies the idiot or loon. There needs to be a point before there can be a counterpoint.
Sure, for a kid who just lost their virginity a year ago. For a young-ish adult that's less than one per year, which is practically nothing.
What the hell are you talking about one per year? Are you high? I'm saying we're both 21. That's 3 years of being an adult and out of the house.
My point has been the same this entire time. That there is a strong correlation between having a lot of sex and being "easy". I personally think it starts becoming a lot at around 4 partners a year.
You're the one that thought someone could have 10 sexual partners by the time they were 20 by only dating one person a year
I said for someone "in their 20's," not by the time they were 20. For example, if they were mid 20's and lost their virginity in mid teens, or late 20's and lost their virginity in their late teens. Either of those would be a period of 10 years. I'm amazed that I'm having to explain this to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skinnyfat
What the hell are you talking about one per year?
I said for a young-ish adult. For example, somebody who lost their virginity in their teens and is now 30. Why is this so difficult to grasp for you? This is not rocket science.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Skinnyfat
My point has been the same this entire time. That there is a strong correlation between having a lot of sex and being "easy".
That's not a point. That's just a basic definition of a term, albeit an outdated, juvenile, and chauvinistic one. I haven't heard that term used since high school, nor have I heard of anyone asking or being asked their "number." Adults don't concern themselves with such things.
I was recently reminded by another poster that you're an inexperienced 21-year-old, which really explains a lot (about your lack of understanding of sex and relationships, anyway...not so much your lack of 4th grade math ability). In a few years, after you've been laid a few times and preferably taken some science, math, and statistics classes, maybe we can have a rational conversation. Until then, I'm going to leave you alone now. Take care.
Last edited by nearnorth; 01-08-2014 at 03:25 PM..
I said for someone "in their 20's," not by the time they were 20. For example, if they were mid 20's and lost their virginity in mid teens, or late 20's and lost their virginity in their late teens. Either of those would be a period of 10 years. I'm amazed that I'm having to explain this to you.
I said for a young-ish adult. For example, somebody who lost their virginity in their teens and is now 30. Why is this so difficult to grasp for you? This is not rocket science.
You never qualified your point this way. In the context of this post I was talking about women my age. I said that almost every post. I also said in the OP and about ten other times I'm 21 years old. I'm talking about that age specifically. I don't know how you missed that but since you did I'll call it a communications issue.
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth
That's not a point. That's just a basic definition of a term, albeit an outdated, juvenile, and chauvinistic one. I haven't heard that term used since high school, nor have I heard of anyone asking or being asked their "number." Adults don't concern themselves with such things.
So I'm right and that's the end of it. Why did you try arguing with me in the fast place?
Quote:
Originally Posted by nearnorth
I was recently reminded by another poster that you're an inexperienced 21-year-old, which really explains a lot (about your lack of understanding of sex and relationships, anyway...not so much your lack of 4th grade math ability). In a few years, after you've been laid a few times and preferably taken some science, math, and statistics classes, maybe we can have a rational conversation. Until then, I'm going to leave you alone now. Take care.
I did all my math correctly while you on the other hand were incapable of understanding how sleeping with more people increases your chances of getting stds. I'm sorry that you need to bring people down to your level before you can finally quit.
My question is: Can I expect to get dates with the same kind of women I'd meet in real life using online dating as a 21 year old male assuming I make my profile the best it can be? Or does using online dating require men to lower their expectations?
So far I haven't had any luck with the kind of women I'd normally be able to date. They just do not seem to be interested in me on POF.
I'll admit my profile isn't that great and I actually got some pointers to fix it. Before I give POF any more of my time I want to make sure its worth it based off other people's experience. No point throwing good after bad right?
Yes I am a college student. Before someone says its easy to find women in college, I'll say its easy to find easy women, and I'm not interested in them. I don't do well on the bar scene mostly because I don't like the women I meet that way. I've been using POF to supplement my dating pool because of this and how I just don't meet a lot of women I want to date in my day to day life.
I've been on 5-6 dates with nice attractive females from POF, I have good pictures and a well written profile, I just can't seem to ever get a 2nd or 3rd date. I have little to no dating experience and the first date is always awkward as hell. I'm going to keep trying to break out of my shell, sure gets disappointing though!
I'm not sure if they're turned off by the awkward first meet if my pictures just look better than I do. I've got a couple on second dates but no luck past that! Honestly, I don't think I'm aggressive enough pursing women, I need to more direct.
I've been on 5-6 dates with nice attractive females from POF, I have good pictures and a well written profile, I just can't seem to ever get a 2nd or 3rd date. I have little to no dating experience and the first date is always awkward as hell. I'm going to keep trying to break out of my shell, sure gets disappointing though!
I'm not sure if they're turned off by the awkward first meet if my pictures just look better than I do. I've got a couple on second dates but no luck past that! Honestly, I don't think I'm aggressive enough pursing women, I need to more direct.
Haha.
Do you have any friends (particularly women, but guys would work too) who will give you honest feedback on whether the pics are representative of you?
The awkwardness might be part of it. That will get a little better with practice/experience, but I think most first dates will have at least a little bit of that. (That's why it's fairly easy to tell when a couple in a restaurant are on a first date.)
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