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I love my boyfriend but I don't get that excited feeling when I think about us moving in together anymore. I just think about how stressful moving is. I want to live with him but I don't get the butterflies when I think about it. Is this GOOD because that means I'm making the decision to move in with him from a place of rationality and reason or is this BAD because it means my heart isn't fully in it and aflutter anymore?
We have been discussing moving in together for almost a year now so I'm just over it. It doesn't feel *special* anymore because of how dragged out its been. At first he dragged it out to save money (he lives w/his mom & she is overly attached to him) and we traveled over the summer as well. It seems like every other couple that moves in together does it in a frenzy because they cant bare to be without each other, I guess I always thought that's how it would be for me to.
After that I had to drag it out because I was just too busy with work and school to even think about moving (a full-time 25 year old student). He is 27 and works full time.
Never been in a 3-year relationship, but I would imagine the butterflies would be long past. They could only survive for so long inside your chest cavity, after all.
I don't get butterflies anymore, actually. The last time something felt right with a guy, I just had this startling moment of "Oh! This." followed by a weird sort of serenity.
So my suggestion would be to sort out what is driving your happiness, and what is driving your anxiety/dread. And are those things temporary or potentially permanent. Basically, it's something that will require a lot of honest self-examination and consideration.
I think you're asking a question that doesn't have a true answer. What I would be asking myself is, "Am I happy with the decision I've made?" No one can tell you how to actually feel, because that's up to your body and mind.
You might have hyped it up to the point that it was anti-climactic but as long as you're happy with your decision, you're doing the right thing.
If you're expecting to feel like everyone else feels, then you're expecting something that isn't truly tangible. That's like me being disappointed because my turd didn't come out the same way as yours. It's always a little different for everyone and to compare your life to anyone else's would be a waste of a darn good life.
I think you're asking a question that doesn't have a true answer. What I would be asking myself is, "Am I happy with the decision I've made?" No one can tell you how to actually feel, because that's up to your body and mind.
You might have hyped it up to the point that it was anti-climactic but as long as you're happy with your decision, you're doing the right thing.
If you're expecting to feel like everyone else feels, then you're expecting something that isn't truly tangible. That's like me being disappointed because my turd didn't come out the same way as yours. It's always a little different for everyone and to compare your life to anyone else's would be a waste of a darn good life.
Thanks! I really needed to hear something like this. The fact that you compared it to turds makes me like it even more . I'm stealing this turd analogy from you when something similar to my issue comes up with one of my friends.
Never been in a 3-year relationship, but I would imagine the butterflies would be long past. They could only survive for so long inside your chest cavity, after all.
I don't get butterflies anymore, actually. The last time something felt right with a guy, I just had this startling moment of "Oh! This." followed by a weird sort of serenity.
So my suggestion would be to sort out what is driving your happiness, and what is driving your anxiety/dread. And are those things temporary or potentially permanent. Basically, it's something that will require a lot of honest self-examination and consideration.
Yes, the butterfly stage is gone but I still miss him deeply when he is not around. I think we sometimes forget to be romantic about things so I need to work on that.
My happiness isn't really driven by any one thing. I have a number of things going on in my life that make me happy. I think if any of them changed I would be able to adjust fine and be happy all over again. The last thing I would want to change is my relationship my with boyfriend. He is truly my best friend. Its scary because it almost feels too good to be true .
We have our fights and our issues but we have a best friend relationship even before we have a romantic/sexual one.
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. I'm stealing this turd analogy from you when something similar to my issue comes up with one of my friends.
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