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Well....If I marry a woman who was in shape, worked out all the time and ate right, and that all changed after the vows, she literally is changing who she is and who I married. Divorce would not be my first recourse and yes I would try to help, but in the end, it's on her. If she doesn't care enough about the marriage to stay attractive, then I don't care enough to stay in it.
I guess that's the easy way out, instead of being miserable and not holding a woman responsible for her decisions, but I guess that's the American way now. USA!
I am not attacking here, but since you actually gave an example in regards to the weight gain issue, I want to piggyback a hypothetical off of it.
Same scenario, you, hoop, or anyone marries a fit and attractive woman. She gains weight, and you are displeased. She exercises, adjusts her diet, and it does not come off. She starts seeing doctors, GP's, endocrynologists, she finds out that the problem is a severe drop in metabolism due to a hypothyriod condition which is manageable through medication, but not curable. The condition reduces her metabolism as well as impairing her body's natural ability to properly process carbs.
Do to these conditions, through a very strict and restrictive diet, as well as rigourous exercise, she is able to shed about half the weight she gained initially but that is it. She is not lazy, she has all the desire in the world to be healthy and keep herself in shape. She is also anguishing over the very restrictive diet, expense of the diet, time investment needed to prepare everything herself, inability to virtually never eat out, have a "treat" at all, etc.
Do you leave her because that is now as good as it gets? She is a little overweight, and your unhappy with her appearance?
What if she cannot take the demands of the exercise and diet regimen. Whether it is due to mental anguish of enduring it all daily, or physical breakdown where injury or something prevents as strenuous of an exercise regimen (which is bound to happen as she gets older). She gains more weight. Do you stick with her, or is she now too large?
Is she no longer able to raise a child on proper health habits and self control?
Now yes, I know this is not true in all cases, but I DO know women where this scenario IS their life. They fight and struggle weight gain daily, eating a diet which would send most men running for the fast food joint to down a 5000 grease pit calorie meal, and exercising their tails off... and they are STILL no feather.
Maybe the question is, where do you draw the line, and is the woman your with a real person that you care about (and in this case, apparently somewhat committed to) or just a trophy for your desire to feed your eye candy needs?
Overweight people don't lack self control? Stupid and lazy were your own additions to my argument not mine. You are the one that is trying to counter something I have said but have added no reason behind your objections. You just keep going on like a broken record about the same thing over and over again.
You can call me whatever you would like it doesn't bother me how you label me. I don't seek validation from anyone on here. Strong ad hominem by the way
Technically it is not an ad hominem. I said "an idiot will..." and then I described an action. An action you did, in fact. You made a post based on assumptions that are not always true. You have failed to consider all angles but opened your mouth (in a manner of speaking) and advertised your own limited ideas on the matter. I described what an idiot* does. You are the one who shoe-horned yourself into that description.
*you really should look up how we derived this word some time.
I am not attacking here, but since you actually gave an example in regards to the weight gain issue, I want to piggyback a hypothetical off of it.
Same scenario, you, hoop, or anyone marries a fit and attractive woman. She gains weight, and you are displeased. She exercises, adjusts her diet, and it does not come off. She starts seeing doctors, GP's, endocrynologists, she finds out that the problem is a severe drop in metabolism due to a hypothyriod condition which is manageable through medication, but not curable. The condition reduces her metabolism as well as impairing her body's natural ability to properly process carbs.
Do to these conditions, through a very strict and restrictive diet, as well as rigourous exercise, she is able to shed about half the weight she gained initially but that is it. She is not lazy, she has all the desire in the world to be healthy and keep herself in shape. She is also anguishing over the very restrictive diet, expense of the diet, time investment needed to prepare everything herself, inability to virtually never eat out, have a "treat" at all, etc.
Do you leave her because that is now as good as it gets? She is a little overweight, and your unhappy with her appearance?
What if she cannot take the demands of the exercise and diet regimen. Whether it is due to mental anguish of enduring it all daily, or physical breakdown where injury or something prevents as strenuous of an exercise regimen (which is bound to happen as she gets older). She gains more weight. Do you stick with her, or is she now too large?
Is she no longer able to raise a child on proper health habits and self control?
Now yes, I know this is not true in all cases, but I DO know women where this scenario IS their life. They fight and struggle weight gain daily, eating a diet which would send most men running for the fast food joint to down a 5000 grease pit calorie meal, and exercising their tails off... and they are STILL no feather.
Maybe the question is, where do you draw the line, and is the woman your with a real person that you care about (and in this case, apparently somewhat committed to) or just a trophy for your desire to feed your eye candy needs?
I'm not a monster, and if I married her, I loved her.
I'll rephrase. If she gets lazy and makes excuses because she doesn't feel the need to be attractive because she's married, or whatever her reasoning, I don't have much of a tolerance for it.
If she develops a medical issue, I am there for her. Better? I may come off a bit shallow, but believe me, I'm not as much as you think.
I'm curious - the folks who've said that their SO gaining weight would be a major turn-off and deal breaker... what would you do if your partner gained weight due to a medically necessary medication?
Technically it is not an ad hominem. I said "an idiot will..." and then I described an action. An action you did, in fact. You made a post based on assumptions that are not always true. You have failed to consider all angles but opened your mouth (in a manner of speaking) and advertised your own limited ideas on the matter. I described what an idiot* does. You are the one who shoe-horned yourself into that description.
*you really should look up how we derived this word some time.
Semantic nonsense....
Nothing but another pseudo-intellectual...
You have still failed to disprove what I said instead you keep attacking me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wry_Martini
I'm curious - the folks who've said that their SO gaining weight would be a major turn-off and deal breaker... what would you do if your partner gained weight due to a medically necessary medication?
This is different and an exception...if shes my girlfriend I will stick around for a little and then leave her for some other reason. If its my wife I stick around...
You have still failed to disprove what I said instead you keep attacking me.
You say this, and earlier you said you don't need to validate yourself to anyone here, yet you keep responding to what I say. And despite what you think, I have proven my point, that being you have exhibited a very limited understanding of why overweight people are overweight. If you feel this is a personal attack, stay out of the adults discussions until you've grown some thick skin.
You say this, and earlier you said you don't need to validate yourself to anyone here, yet you keep responding to what I say. And despite what you think, I have proven my point, that being you have exhibited a very limited understanding of why overweight people are overweight. If you feel this is a personal attack, stay out of the adults discussions until you've grown some thick skin.
You're starting from the assumption that all overweight people lack self control and are stupid and lazy. That you buy into this assumption tells me you lack the critical thinking capacity to even have an intelligent discussion on the issue, an idea supported by subsequent posts seemingly added for shock value.
There are a lot of overweight people out there and to assume their stories are all the same, that being laziness and lack of self control, is ignorant. Their stories are as varied as the individuals themselves. A smart person can readily acknowledge this and will consider all the variables. And idiot will put his stupidity on blast for all the world to see. Like you did.
(Straightforward and bold: just the way you like it!)
This.
Quote:
Originally Posted by hooplaman
Overweight people don't lack self control? Stupid and lazy were your own additions to my argument not mine. You are the one that is trying to counter something I have said but have added no reason behind your objections. You just keep going on like a broken record about the same thing over and over again.
You can call me whatever you would like it doesn't bother me how you label me. I don't seek validation from anyone on here. Strong ad hominem by the way
Actually, it isn't about self control for most people, as many who align with conventional wisdom, outdated and obsolete thinking, tend to assume. It's not the fast food, and it's not junk, for what most liken as junk ("cheeseburgers are bad!" and "stay away from bacon and red meat! Evil!!!!" It's a multitude of behaviors perpetuated by the diet/nutrition and fitness industry based on decades worth of bogus data.
The documentary Super Size Me? Absolutely hogwash. Most individuals blindly follow what they hear getting preached by fitness and nutrition experts, and even physicians who only parrot outdated information from the 70's. I just roll my eyes.
Fat storage and lipolysis are greatly influenced by insulin and leptin. Here's an article on leptin and ghrelin:
It has less to do with "move more, eat less" nonsense and everything to do with the interplay of various hormones and which foods negatively impact them.
Most overweight individuals don't carry around excess adipose tissue because they're not walking on the treadmill at 24 Hour Fitness. 80-90% of fat loss (and gain) comes from nutrition habits. All of that nonsense "eat five small meals a day, and eat less fat" is pure and utter nonsense. If all of the wisdom and resources surrounding diet is scientifically sound (based on current data) then why are we, Westerners, still overweight, if not obese? Because the "wisdom" is not based on evidence-based medicine, and people are being led down these paths only to end up "failing" because the results are not sustainable or because it just plain doesn't work.
As a formerly morbidly obese individual who gained an excess of 100+ lbs over the course of years due to self-medicating my depression with food (high carb sweets, especially), having tried all sorts of "diets" that were ineffective and unsustainable, I can say I spent many years pouring into this matter, and it is hardly as cut and dry as so many like to believe.
Problem is I have to pay higher insurance premiums because of the fatties and have to endure this fat is beautiful bull****.
"Honey, have you looked in the mirror lately?
no?
Offcourse not!
You look like the damn water buffalo I just saw on national geographic.
Why don't drop that bread and butter and get your fat buffalo ass in the gym"
Quote:
Originally Posted by rationalmale18
I literally laughed out loud.
Lol I did too. But chances are there are people who would do the same thing as him-leave a bf or gf after they lost attraction but blame it on something else.
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