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If a man is so concerned about what happens with his seed, why doesn't he ask the women he has sex with what they would do if they accidently became pregnant before he has sex with them?
That's kind of my point. The dialogue needs to happen no matter who brings it up. Still, since she will have to deal with the ramifications of abortion vs. carrying to term, I would say it makes sense that she would be more likely to bring the topic up first.
I guess all I'm saying is that it takes two people to bring the situation about - it should take those same two people to deal with the 'aftermath.'
Just FYI, sending a monthly check averaging $200-400 per month for 18 years and actually raising a child, which btw doesn't end after 18 years, is completely different.
I believe the consensus here is the same. Women in a good relationship with a man that is not selfish, morally corrupt or physically abusive would feel comfortable in discussing an unwanted pregnancy with their bf.
The question is if you knocked up some skank you met at a bar and she told you of the pregnancy would you raise the child yourself in lieu of her aborting. Would you pay the medical expenses and support her while she took leave time. Or would you encourage the abortion, go with her and lend support after the abortion or would you rather have never known.
How many men do you know who were given the option?
More than the amount of single women I know who are raising a child alone because the "father" didn't want to. Each of these women discussed the pregnancy with the guy and he split. Then I know some guys who tell me of their illegitimate children for whom they are dodging child support. I don't know one guy who says when he found out the chick was pregnant and wanted an abortion he offered to raise the child alone. Do you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucario
The situation doesn't have to be that extreme.
But sometimes it is. So, it doesn't have to be a skank. Lets say, ex-gf, ons, fb, married woman. Does that make it less extreme. I would dare say in the great majority of situation when a woman had an abortion without discussion it was because the father was other than a committed mate.
2mares asked a good question. What would you do if you had a ONS with a woman you met in a bar and she tracked you down, told you that she was pregnant and that she was going to leave you with a child to raise it by yourself? Why do I get the feeling that you would say no?
I reckon most men would not accept the offer. Becoming a single dad means no more player lifestyle, moderate drinking, budgeting, little to no travelling, maintaining a steady job that he probably wants to quit, reduced dating options, a lot more stress, etc.
Most men are against abortion but they also refuse to become single dads to the child/ren that they don't want aborted. It does not surprise me at all that most single parents are female.
2mares asked a good question. What would you do if you had a ONS with a woman you met in a bar and she tracked you down, told you that she was pregnant and that she was going to leave you with a child to raise it by yourself? Why do I get the feeling that you would say no?
I reckon most men would not accept the offer. Becoming a single dad means no more player lifestyle, moderate drinking, budgeting, little to no travelling, maintaining a steady job that he probably wants to quit, reduced dating options, a lot more stress, etc.
Most men are against abortion but they also refuse to become single dads to the child/ren that they don't want aborted. It does not surprise me at all that most single parents are female.
I wont hold my breath waiting for a truthful answer. I'm still waiting for an example of this men's logical and rational intelligence to these type decisions vs. women simple emotional answers.
More than the amount of single women I know who are raising a child alone because the "father" didn't want to. Each of these women discussed the pregnancy with the guy and he split. Then I know some guys who tell me of their illegitimate children for whom they are dodging child support. I don't know one guy who says when he found out the chick was pregnant and wanted an abortion he offered to raise the child alone. Do you?
No. I just know guys whose girlfriends had abortions either without consulting them or just flat out told them they were not keeping the baby. One friend of mine told me this happened twice. He ended up having a kid later in life with a wife he does not love and who does not love him - he was that desperate to become a father.
I also know of a woman who lied twice to her husband about being on birth control so she could get pregnant, lay on her butt and stay home. Before you assail me for saying this, she explicitly told my wife she did this. Of course, neither the woman nor my wife thought she did anything wrong.
Then again, treachery and deceit is acceptable when a woman is the treacherous deceiver. Right?
Quote:
But sometimes it is. So, it doesn't have to be a skank. Lets say, ex-gf, ons, fb, married woman. Does that make it less extreme. I would dare say in the great majority of situation when a woman had an abortion without discussion it was because the father was other than a committed mate.
I'd say you can't make generalizations just because the circles you run in are full of men and women who don't act or think maturely or prudently about their sexual and reproductive actions.
2mares asked a good question. What would you do if you had a ONS with a woman you met in a bar and she tracked you down, told you that she was pregnant and that she was going to leave you with a child to raise it by yourself? Why do I get the feeling that you would say no?
I don't know why you'd get that feeling, StabbyAbby. In any event I would never be in that situation, considering I've never had a ONS or been in a bar. As I've said before, though, I take fatherhood very seriously, and I have already raised one kid I did not biologically father and two that I did. I would raise any kid I brought here - but I would make sure the kid was my daughter or son first.
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I reckon most men would not accept the offer. Becoming a single dad means no more player lifestyle, moderate drinking, budgeting, little to no travelling, maintaining a steady job that he probably wants to quit, reduced dating options, a lot more stress, etc.
I've never been a player. I don't drink, I throw around nickels like manhole covers and have worked since I was 17. As I said, had I become a single dad, I would have just had to be that. No real dealbreaker there.
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Most men are against abortion but they also refuse to become single dads to the child/ren that they don't want aborted. It does not surprise me at all that most single parents are female.
You guys are once again trying to divert this topic into something it isn't. Its a pretty good sign that you've run out of arguments, and are pulling the usual crap that people who cant admit they were wrong do. We are obviously talking about a man and a woman in LTR or marriage, so I am not sure where the ONS with a skank comes into equation. Youre trying to justify and rationalize morally corrupt behavior, and as a man who knows how to argue with women, I am gracefully bowing out of this conversation, which has visibly ended some time back. Hope you learned something.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 36,974,024 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ascension2012
We are obviously talking about a man and a woman in LTR or marriage.
This wasn't obvious at all.
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