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As a guy who was looking in an PhD in Econ as a young lad...they don't earn much. Depending on the subject he may not even have a job afterward. For example, English and Philosophy PhD's are notorious for being unemployed afterward and many just end up going to Law School anyway. Unless the PhD is engineering even science PhD's are pretty irrelevant in the work force.
So, if you see this guy as Mr. Stability as opposed to the Antithesis of Mr. Bartender chances are Mr. Bartender--if he got his act together--would provide a more stable life. I dated a bartender once in the distant past and she earned an awesome income from tips and she was sexy and fun.
So, if you only see this guy as Mr. Stability and that is your only reason for giving him a second chance don't bother.
He's an engineering grad.
I don't see him as Mr Stability at all. Mr Bartender earned a lot of money and it didn't prevent me from cutting him loose. My interest in someone doesn't depend on their job.
Hence, the guy I went on a date with is not Mr Stability in any way. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me or provide for me. I'm looking for well ... love as the end goal.
Last edited by LostinPhilly; 03-19-2014 at 06:03 PM..
As for love being the end goal. Sounds like a good goal to me. As for a PhD in engineering he'll make tons of money afterward...but love is the end goal. To be honest I'm rooting for Mr. Bartender. But that's me.
He didn't want a serious relationship and was in it for sex. Even though he had told me I was the only girl he ever truly clicked with on a mental level, he managed to tell me to the exact opposite statement weeks later. He claimed he was only attracted to me in a sexual way when it's crystal clear we had more than just a physical chemistry (considering the fact we'd spend hours debating on random intellectual subjects). He had no clue what he wanted, blowing hot and cold. I cut him loose for good.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sparkk2chane
I say pick neither.
A is too boring, D is too exciting.
Keep searching, maybe there is a C or a B somewhere in the world.
A balanced mix of these two is exactly what I'm looking for. That's what I've been telling myself for the past few days! A is indeed boring and that's the problem. I want a guy with a bit of excitement. D was all over the place emotionally and career-wise too.
Last edited by LostinPhilly; 03-19-2014 at 06:10 PM..
I don't see him as Mr Stability at all. Mr Bartender earned a lot of money and it didn't prevent me from cutting him loose. My interest in someone doesn't depend on their job. Hence, the guy I'm currently seeing is not Mr Stability in any way. I'm not looking for someone to take care of me or provide for me. I'm looking for well ... love as the end goal.
Is this the man you have been on one date with or someone else? I'm confused as I don't think I would attach this label to a man I have dated once.
Go on the date with A. You never know, he may grow on you. You said a serious relationship with a guy like that is exactly what you want. Give yourself a chance to get to know him better; maybe he'll show a fun side. A 2nd date can't hurt.
I don't know about the rest of you, but I wouldn't want someone to continue dating me in hopes I'd "grow" on them. If you really don't feel it by the first date, and have extreme thoughts like you feel you'd cheat on him, listen to your intuition. You CAN find a guy in the future that has what you're looking for and doesn't have to grow on you or make you bored. If you even have to THINK you'd possibly do that with somebody, they aren't for you! Move on for both of your sakes. Especially his. You need to get yourself together a bit more before dating girly.
Sometimes chemistry is instant, sometimes it grows after a few dates. I would see him one more time if I were you. But everytime someone says that, it seems like you want to talk yourself out of it? That's why I'm confused.
Its just one guy and one date. If you really don't want to be bothered again, don't. No one is going to die over it, ya know? LOL. Seriously, don't overthink it. If the thought of another date causes you angst then don't bother... there are more guys in the world.
Yeah, chemistry doesn't always happen instantly. I see no problem with a 2nd date, except that you're feeling very confused. But you wouldn't be leading him on to have a 2nd date. No one expects any guarantees from the dating process after just one or two dates. It's not an engagement.
But if you're having this much difficulty deciding, maybe dating isn't for you, right now. Maybe counseling is.
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