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This is the important point. All of the guys I've met (who are actually happy in their relationship) speak highly of their other half, for sure. But there seems to be a disparity in what they speak highly of.
Sometimes it's a comment about her advancing, getting a degree, a promotion, being really great at something she's passionate about, maybe getting some kind of award. More often, though, it's bragging about her appearance, how well she takes care of him, how agreeable and not at all a nag she is, or how good she is at something that matters to him, like cooking or giving head.
There are definitely men who are proud of their women all across the board. Just saying that it seems a tad more common for guys to be proud of their women in a context that relates back to them in some way. Not saying it's a universal male trait, it's just what it seems like in this society and your observation is likely a large part of why.
its the guy saying it, so he's not going to be speaking highly of his ex, so the dog looks good
and ,,,using your example,,if she gives good head.... is he just suppose to throw that out there,,and it not pertain to him??
women do the same,,,you wont hear a bmw (big maine woman) brag about her hubby that runs every night and is in good shape...or how he has a full set of teeth,,,if she's just a whistling....
financially stable
has a career he is passionate about
smart
funny
easy going
thinks of others before him self some times (you have to make sure your needs are meet as well)
has some kind of goals he wants reach in life ( real goals )
ambitious
good listener
can fix things
confidence
has friends ( which I do not )
That's like LTR/marriage material caliber man.
Noticeably missing though on your list there is anything related to looks/sex appeal/sexual chemistry. Only rarely are all of those qualities found in the same man, along with the other important stuff you mentioned. It's all kind of subjective though.
Women dig two types of guys in general: the "boring/stable" guy who pulls up in a Range Rover and has plenty of boring guy money from his boring guy job to provide the kind of, ehh, "appropriate" relationship I guess you could call it. Then there is the guys that do little else but push her hot buttons and put it down in the bedroom like nobody ever has. It's possible those two men could be the same people, but as I said it's pretty rare.
Easier to what, become ensnared? Yeah I agree, but that's what I'm trying to avoid.
I wouldn't mind some sex every now and then, though.
But like orangeapple said, too much work.
Hey I don't blame you ladies are crazy.lol
We are a lot of work and I got news for you so are men.
But if you have the attitude that they are only for sex then you aren't ready for dating.
How would you like a woman to want your sex organ only and not give two chits about anything else?
You may think sure!!! Got news for you it will bother you.
We are a lot of work and I got news for you so are men.
But if you have the attitude that they are only for sex then you aren't ready for dating.
How would you like a woman to want your sex organ only and not give two chits about anything else?
You may think sure!!! Got news for you it will bother you.
Sex without some kind of connection, while that is good too, and I don't have to "be in love" to have sex, it's much better though when you actually care and connect with someone.
Regarding the bolded, has the possibility ever occurred to you that IT IS too much work? Put another way, that some of you gals perhaps think a wee bit too much of yourselves? Or perhaps your "lists" are just a touch unrealistic?
No, no, no. I know. This is CD-R and the wyminnz are always right.
You just proved the OP's point. But like they said.... some.... men, and you volunteered that you are one.
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You state that as if I should be ashamed. Trying to meet the shifting demands and expectations of women is more work than it's worth, and if it weren't for the male sex drive, you ladies would be in a world of hurt for finding a partner.
I'm soooo worried about that. I know I'm nothing more than a sexual outlet for men and have nothing else to offer. Boy would I be sorry, you guys would sure show me!
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To each his own, I guess, but that's definitely not the case for me.
Based on your posting history under the various names you have, you're in for a long long lonely life ahead of you. Sorry to say, but unless you get a little perspective and a better hold of the big picture of how life works and how people work things don't looks so good.
I suspect you're probably only about 25 or so... and at that age it's harder to see the bigger picture.
I will add that some people go thru their whole lives and never mentally or spiritually grow.. I know a couple of older people right off the top of my head that while they are well into their upper years... they still don't get it... still not self aware and that is a sad sight to see.
This right here is some good "life" advice and I'm sure you're gonna blow it off though.
Last edited by Chowhound; 03-28-2014 at 05:40 PM..
Reason: ty po
Noticeably missing though on your list there is anything related to looks/sex appeal/sexual chemistry. Only rarely are all of those qualities found in the same man, along with the other important stuff you mentioned. It's all kind of subjective though.
Women dig two types of guys in general: the "boring/stable" guy who pulls up in a Range Rover and has plenty of boring guy money from his boring guy job to provide the kind of, ehh, "appropriate" relationship I guess you could call it. Then there is the guys that do little else but push her hot buttons and put it down in the bedroom like nobody ever has. It's possible those two men could be the same people, but as I said it's pretty rare.
Well a guy has to be somewhat stable or I can't see a woman dating him long term.
I do not know if a woman would call being a nurse working in the ER boring or working in the ICU or even the NICU .
Just as long as the guy is not boring 24/7 I think he do all right. I like trying new things.
Also I am good with kids my roommate a long time ago had a few kids and I enjoyed my interactions with them.
I do have a sensitive side and a sarcastic side / honest side telling like it is.
I do know one think I do not like conflict and try to advoid it but sometimes you got to deal with it.
Looking at the lists of what women say they want, and I agree with all of it, I suspect that there are men out there who think that is much too much work. They want to be the dream guy just by owning an expensive car.. They can buy an expensive car without putting any effort in. They don't want to be a decent and complete human being because self improvement takes so much time and effort and involves thought and analysis. .
Or they want women to desire tall men. They can't make themselves tall, so that is their excuse to not put any effort in.
Those men are the ones who are paying money to the gurus to have the gurus tell them the magic lie that makes women drop their pants. And then, incidentally, blaming the women when the magic lie doesn't work. Because other (non-relationship) men have told them that is what women want, and of course if a woman doesn't agree, she has to be a sociopath.
Spot on. I think this is seen in men who believe that women get sex, relationships and other perks in life just for being pretty. I think they resent that they don't have some singular quality they can ride on. Or they identify it as something they don't or can't possess, as a justification for their failures (as you note). And if they do just want sex with hot women, then it IS too much work for something so fleeting and shallow.
While its true some women can slide by just on looks and some men can slide by on wealth (or appearance of it), those people are not necessarily happy or fulfilled in their relationships or life. Those who are happy have made the effort to be the more well-rounded, healthy person, and that includes women.
I think in these discussions there is "talking past each other". The men are really asking "how do I score with lots of hot chicks" and the women are saying what makes a man attractive for a potential relationship (which would include sex). The reason the women answer this way is because they are not the skanky club girls these guys are seeking; if that's what they want, then no, they won't find satisfying answers here.
Quote:
Originally Posted by cyberphonics
Everybody get a room, a salad, and an idea!!!
This is the important point. All of the guys I've met (who are actually happy in their relationship) speak highly of their other half, for sure. But there seems to be a disparity in what they speak highly of.
Sometimes it's a comment about her advancing, getting a degree, a promotion, being really great at something she's passionate about, maybe getting some kind of award. More often, though, it's bragging about her appearance, how well she takes care of him, how agreeable and not at all a nag she is, or how good she is at something that matters to him, like cooking or giving head.
There are definitely men who are proud of their women all across the board. Just saying that it seems a tad more common for guys to be proud of their women in a context that relates back to them in some way. Not saying it's a universal male trait, it's just what it seems like in this society and your observation is likely a large part of why.
This is precisely what I meant.
Being a good cook, a great housekeeper, or very pretty is stuff that serves his interests.
Quote:
Originally Posted by UrbanAdventurer
That's like LTR/marriage material caliber man.
Noticeably missing though on your list there is anything related to looks/sex appeal/sexual chemistry. Only rarely are all of those qualities found in the same man, along with the other important stuff you mentioned. It's all kind of subjective though.
Women dig two types of guys in general: the "boring/stable" guy who pulls up in a Range Rover and has plenty of boring guy money from his boring guy job to provide the kind of, ehh, "appropriate" relationship I guess you could call it. Then there is the guys that do little else but push her hot buttons and put it down in the bedroom like nobody ever has. It's possible those two men could be the same people, but as I said it's pretty rare.
I call false dichotomy on this. It's too extreme. I don't go for either guy. I like someone more intellectual who has a fascinating mind but also some sensuality. These guys are never player types. My main issue with them is how emotional they are. The stable, ordinary guy doesn't appeal much to me as I'm not seeking to start a family in the 'burbs.
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But like they said.... some.... men, and you volunteered that you are one.
