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I think I've divulged more than enough real crisis problems on my relationship here. To the point that I've been called a troll, faker.
I got through with it, and saved my marriage NOT because of opinions I got here, gosh no way! All I got was blame on those bitter posters anyway.
Our marriage was saved because me and my husband WORKED on it.
I have always posted too personal stuff online though, especially when I was single. My reasoning is it is my way of venting, releasing my anger whatever sh-it I was feeling that day, I was tweeting it! LOL.
For me I see forums as my therapy. It does help to see another's POV on my case, and it is up to me if what they say matters or has a point.
Online has always been my therapy and social medias has always been my electronic diary. It does help me release my angst. A LOT!
My general rule of thumb is to never berate or voice my frustrations with my wife here on the forum. I generally will only say positive things about her here, or when I am talking about problems we've had I will only discuss resolved issues and not current issues. These I reserve for her and I to sort out together and I do not consider them the business of this forum. Furthermore, while I respect the opinions of several of the regulars around here, I know how threads devolve on this forum and do nor wish for my wife and I to be the subject of sophomoric debate.
Same here. If my SO and I split up, obviously there were issues in the relationship. But one would never have known it from my posts on here, for the very reasons you state. Also, I don't need or want advice from strangers on my lovelife. Never have, never will, and that goes twice over from people who lack experience.
But once a man is out of my life, all bets are off. For example, when people discuss divorce or break-ups, if I've dealt with something similar, I don't have a problem commiserating. That's part of empathy and relating to people.
There's a saying: Try to conduct yourself so that if your friends or preacher inherited your parrot, you wouldn't be embarrassed. One could also say: Try to conduct your relationship so that if you break up, your ex won't rip you to shreds on City-Data.
The extent that my friends and I talk about women is showing pics of who we are dating and commenting how hot we think they are. If I have an issue or question, I will ask here because.. well this is what the forum is for
I try not to berate any girls I've dated, but there are definitely aspects of them that bother me. I still keep in contact with a few of them and they are pretty good friends, albiet we're online friends now because they moved to other countries.
It's not a betrayal in my opinion unless the other partner stipulated one isn't to discuss their sex-life problems with others. However it's not healthy in my opinion to seemingly have no to little support network that one vents their sex-life problems to random internet strangers. That suggests to me one doesn't have worthwhile communication with their partner as in their partner actively listens and tries to resolve issues.
I don't personally see much point in venting anonymously, for myself. Overall, if I have an issue, I'd rather just address it. Others get something out of venting, and that's fine. But like with any other problem, if all you're going to do is complain and complain, but never actually address what it is that you're complaining about, it's pretty counterproductive. I try never to complain about things I'm not willing to take proactive steps to change, whether that's online or in life. For some people, writing it all down is part of a process that helps them understand what direction to go. For others, it's just pointless blathering that will go on and on, ad nauseum.
I don't personally see much point in venting anonymously, for myself. Overall, if I have an issue, I'd rather just address it. Others get something out of venting, and that's fine. But like with any other problem, if all you're going to do is complain and complain, but never actually address what it is that you're complaining about, it's pretty counterproductive. I try never to complain about things I'm not willing to take proactive steps to change, whether that's online or in life. For some people, writing it all down is part of a process that helps them understand what direction to go. For others, it's just pointless blathering that will go on and on, ad nauseum.
What if the issue/issues are intractable and impossible to solve?
What if the issue/issues are intractable and impossible to solve?
Then you address it by ending a clearly untenable relationship. Posting a million times to hash and rehash the inevitable isn't doing anything proactive.
Then you address it by ending a clearly untenable relationship. Posting a million times to hash and rehash the inevitable isn't doing anything proactive.
Also very tough to do with children involved.
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