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...while for most men, having uncommitted, multiple friends-with-benefits arrangements is the ideal.
Obviously, this isn't true for everyone. But my perception is that it is true in most cases, especially with regards to younger people. Am I right or wrong?
I think both situations can be ideal for any person, depending on what's going on in their life and who that person comes across. Can't really base it on the sex of the person.
I am not sure at the percentage. I know of a lot of men who value stable and committed relationships too, but in general I would say that there are more men than women who do not put as much importance into this aspect of relationships.
...while for most men, having uncommitted, multiple friends-with-benefits arrangements is the ideal.
Obviously, this isn't true for everyone. But my perception is that it is true in most cases, especially with regards to younger people. Am I right or wrong?
I think you are right to a certain degree. I am glad that you have your little bolded disclaimer there. Otherwise, you would have to waste a lot of time explaining to folks here that your are not trying to generalize. You know how it goes.
George Weinberg, a clinical psychologist and author of "Why Men Won't Commit," says men consider women to be "good commitment material" when they give a man the sense that he can keep his freedom. I think that book is an eye opener and it really is not about gender bashing.
I always wanted a committed relationship, but long term commitment and marriage honestly scare the living Jesus out of me. I think how we act and what we believe perhaps depend on personality and personal experiences. You know what they say, we are who we are through experiences.
I see how happy my parents are in committed relationship, so I want a committed relationship. I think my two brothers believe the same thing. But men and women are biologically different. I cannot picture myself sleeping with somebody whom I am not in love with. But many of my guy friends can have sex just for the sake of it.
I'm a man and have never wanted anything else but commitment and long-term relationships. I heve never been in a non-committed or a FWB-style relationship . When I was younger, I was offered more than one casual encounter by multiple women, but I politely and respectfully declined those invitations. Why? You just can't truly love or be loved, in a casual or FWB relationship...and genuine romantic love and that kind of special loving affection are what I want, and have always wanted..
What people in poly communities throughout the US observe is that many men think they want that, but, once they have it, 90% discover they hate it and prefer monogamy.
Maybe women tend to be more accurate at predicting what they will find fun?
I think you are right to a certain degree. I am glad that you have your little bolded disclaimer there. Otherwise, you would have to waste a lot of time explaining to folks here that your are not trying to generalize. You know how it goes.
George Weinberg, a clinical psychologist and author of "Why Men Won't Commit," says men consider women to be "good commitment material" when they give a man the sense that he can keep his freedom. I think that book is an eye opener and it really is not about gender bashing..
I think that for men, fear of being controlled (eg having their freedom restricted) is key. They want and need love, but having a girlfriend/wife/lover who controls what they wear, what they eat, how they dress, with whom they can spend their free time, and also who stifles/suffocates them, is concerning...and rightfully so.
Current social media always portrays the spiritually-esque lost male who needs the guidance of his all-knowing wife/girlfriend/etc. Watching any television program, on any given day, confirms this. The examples are innumerable. If I were bombarded with these images and attitudes, I'd be very weary of being in a long-term commitment...
I don't think that we, as women, face this same issue (in a general sense..at least here in America)...but that's a different discussion altogether.
...while for most men, having uncommitted, multiple friends-with-benefits arrangements is the ideal.
Obviously, this isn't true for everyone. But my perception is that it is true in most cases, especially with regards to younger people. Am I right or wrong?
well, there is always the third kind, the weirdos.
I can NEVER have friends with benefits arrangements with anybody. I also have hard time committing.
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