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and for you married guys, you would be shocked to hear what your wife does at work!!!
Loads paper in the copy machine..? Plays minesweeper? Stares at the clock?
From wikipedia: ...Although surveying large numbers of people helps to counteract the biases of convenience samples, the only way to get scientifically reliable estimates of extramarital sex is to use nationally representative samples. Three studies have used nationally representative samples. These studies have found that about 10-15% of women and 20-25% of men engage in extramarital sex. Around 85-90% of married women and around 75-80% of married men in the United States are sexually monogamous throughout their marriages..
Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)
Affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples, according to counselor Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair,as reported by the Washington Post on March 30, 1999. Ten percent of extramarital affairs last one day, 10 percent last more than one day but less than a month, 50 percent last more than a month but less than a year, but 40 percent last two or more years. Few extramarital affairs last more than four years.
Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. One study found that 2/3 of the wives (26 to 36 million women) whose husbands were cheating had no idea their husbands were having an affair - largely because they failed to recognize the telltale signs.
According to Annette Lawson, author of Adultery, published in 1989 by Basic Books. "The various researchers arrive at a general consensus…suggesting that above one-quarter to about one-half of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men probably still stray more often than married women—perhaps from 50 percent to 65 percent by the age of forty." According to Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners, first published in 1987 by Random House, re-issued in 1996 by Ballentine.
-http://forum.teamxbox.com/showthread.php?t=571943
So yeah, just scrounged a little online. I've heard from both men and women on the subject, I think it's not just a man thing. I wouldn't cheat, I'd rather just stay single. It's the simplest thing in the world... Be single and screw wheoever you want, or get married and hold to your vows.
Loads paper in the copy machine..? Plays minesweeper? Stares at the clock?
From wikipedia: ...Although surveying large numbers of people helps to counteract the biases of convenience samples, the only way to get scientifically reliable estimates of extramarital sex is to use nationally representative samples. Three studies have used nationally representative samples. These studies have found that about 10-15% of women and 20-25% of men engage in extramarital sex. Around 85-90% of married women and around 75-80% of married men in the United States are sexually monogamous throughout their marriages..
Recent studies reveal that 45-55% of married women and 50-60% of married men engage in extramarital sex at some time or another during their relationship (Atwood & Schwartz, 2002 - Journal of Couple & Relationship Therapy)
Affairs affect one of every 2.7 couples, according to counselor Janis Abrahms Spring, author of After the Affair,as reported by the Washington Post on March 30, 1999. Ten percent of extramarital affairs last one day, 10 percent last more than one day but less than a month, 50 percent last more than a month but less than a year, but 40 percent last two or more years. Few extramarital affairs last more than four years.
Cheating spouse statistics confirm that 50 and 70 percent of married men (between 38 and 53 million men) have cheated or will cheat on their wives. One study found that 2/3 of the wives (26 to 36 million women) whose husbands were cheating had no idea their husbands were having an affair - largely because they failed to recognize the telltale signs.
According to Annette Lawson, author of Adultery, published in 1989 by Basic Books. "The various researchers arrive at a general consensus…suggesting that above one-quarter to about one-half of married women have at least one lover after they are married in any given marriage. Married men probably still stray more often than married women—perhaps from 50 percent to 65 percent by the age of forty." According to Maggie Scarf, author of Intimate Partners, first published in 1987 by Random House, re-issued in 1996 by Ballentine.
-http://forum.teamxbox.com/showthread.php?t=571943
So yeah, just scrounged a little online. I've heard from both men and women on the subject, I think it's not just a man thing. I wouldn't cheat, I'd rather just stay single. It's the simplest thing in the world... Be single and screw wheoever you want, or get married and hold to your vows.
There are tons of different statistics in this area. Different studies have found different things.
But sometimes I notice that people tend to report the highest values (70% of married men cheat??? Does that even seem right?).
I believe the majority of psyc studies say it's somewhere between 20-25%, and that women cheat less and for different reasons.
Not that any of this matters to much, most of us only care if 1 person cheats - our spouse. If he did cheat, it would not comfort me to know that others have cheated too.
I keep hearing from women, in this thread and other places, that when a woman cheats it's because she was neglected. I was cheated on, it hurt a lot, and after much thought and soul searching I'm still learning - that when someone cheats it shows something wrong with the cheater, not with their partner.
Women are so quick to justify female cheating as a coping mechanism... they weren't feeling loved... their husband didn't make them feel valued, etc
Men show love, and need to be showed love, differently than women do. Never once have I seen, from a man or a woman, anyone show the male side of the coin that when men cheat they could be seeking love as well.
Yet when women cheat, it's always painted as the guy's fault. He just wasn't good enough.
Well, I am good enough.
A lie is a lie is a lie. If you tell your partner you will be faithful only to them, then that changes without you ever telling them, they are living faithful to you - living in a lie that only you know the truth about - it is an incredible violation of the other person
If a woman isn't happy in her relationship, many times that is equally her fault as her husbands. She should either fix the problem, end it, or be honest with her partner that she needs to go outside the marriage to get what she needs. Don't blame the children. In the end the divorce happens anyways, the children adjust and life goes on. End it before being unfaithful
I agree. It should be ended as it is not fair to anyone.
I am the child of a mother that cheated. She didn't hide it either, everyone in school knew what was going on. Your story reminds me of my dad. He was a good guy.
Imagine my surprise 40 years later when my beloved dad had cancer & I was asked to donate stem cells. Well, it comes out that I might not be my dad's kid & my dad knew it.
I won't go into detail about what my siblings did.. but the last day of my dad's life was spent waiting for a nurse to take a cheek swab from both of us. My dad loved me so much he hung on that last day to prove I was his child... & I turned out to be. My dad passed 2 hours after giving the swab
Cheating ruined my life for a long time.
I ask that those of you that are cheating, if you have kids, think of the consequences to them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ndeanna
I cheated. It was pretty terrible actually. Married for over 7 years.
Why, you ask?
My DH was a jerk. He made me feel like everything was my fault.
Onetime I was really sick and he was working (he was self employed). I asked him to get me some stuff from the store and he told me to get it myself. I went to the store and passed out. They called 911. When I woke up they were all there (ambulance, police, firemen...) and I refused to be taken to the hospital. Technically it was just a bad stomach virus and me being hypoglycemic without food for 48 hours, I passed out. My "DH" refused to come and get me - he was too busy working. The store manager drove me home.
There was another time I was sick in the hospital with an I.V. in my arm and my "DH" told me it was too late and he had to be at work in the morning. Oh Yeah - the same "DH" that played video games like Duke Nukem until 6 a.m. every morning and all the sudden he needed his beauty sleep.
Everything was my fault. From a waitress being a biatch, to work issues. Everything was my fault. He would always say "what did you do, you know you did something...".
Any time I need to vent, it was always my fault.
So yeah - some guy came along, a guy I worked with, and he was cute and really nice. We went to lunch a few times, and one thing turned to another and it happened. I am not making excuses, but I was so hungry for attention and someone to just be nice to me, and be on my side and to feel some sort of intimate camaraderie, like a guy genuinely cared. I was not getting that in my marriage.
Long story short, all hell broke loose. I separated pretty quickly. The lover and I split. And a few years later, I am still single. But hey - I'd rather be single and FREE than imprisoned in a miserable marriage. Not making excuses for myself, but it happened. I do not recommend it. But no matter what, affair or not, divorces are nasty. The other guy, the affair – he was never the “reason” he was just a catalyst. I was already unhappy and miserable.
To all men – if you want to keep your women, just make her feel loved. It’s the little things that count, believe it or not.
My “DH” was very sorry. He groveled for months. But it was just too late. It would have been too easy for me to go back, after the lover had left, but I was free and I could not stand the idea of being miserable again.
I know this guy too. Add to it that I slept on the couch for 3 or 4 years. The marriage was over. I was planning on ending it when his verbal abuse turned to physical.
I met a great guy, we've been together for 8 years now. Best thing I ever did was leave my ex.
Quote:
Originally Posted by southernjewishgal
I'm divorced but no. No affairs for me. I think if you want to sleep with someone else you should just get divorced instead of sneaking around.
Agree.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aussie_watcher
ok, heres another question for you guys. Is "cyber sex " classed as cheating?
yes some women have affairs and some men don't. My advice to you if you are thinking about it and want to stay happily married is suck up your guilt and never never never confess. If you want to confess you might as well just pay a lawyer, you will be happier in the end. Some people spend their entire lives successfully living a lie with their spouses and others make the mistake of telling the truth.
Why is every mistake in the world just a mistake but an affair is cheating? Spouses can lie, cheat, steal, abuse, etc and nothing gets the moralistic reaction as sex. I never did get it and I never will.
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