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why do men feel the need to do this? Isn't it hurtful to the relationship they are currently in if if offends thier partner? what is the motive behind it?
that is what my worry is. He swears up and down its innocent. She has a boyfriend now, but would it stay innocent if she didn't? He not only is the (my bf) one to initiate contact, one of the first things he asks about is her boyfriend..... Am I overreacting or should I "put up" with this?
Over many years I've had many relationships with many people who've stayed friendly with their exes, as have I stayed friendly with some of mine. Exes are exes for a reason but not all relationships end badly! I remain close friends with a couple of my exes because they're nice people but it doesn't in any way mean I want to be back in an intimate relationship with them.
I would also be somewhat suspicious but it is possible that they're just friends and not interested in each other romantically anymore. I can understand your concern though because it probably feels like a kind of threatening situation hanging over your head. I know that's how I'd feel. You're really the only one who can make the determination based on your instincts about what is going on behind the scenes. I would at least tell him that it bothers you which you've probably already done and that should give an indication about how much he values your feelings versus his attachment to his ex-girlfriend. If he seems insensitive to the fact that you find this to be hurtful that would raise a red flag.
I would also be somewhat suspicious but it is possible that they're just friends and not interested in each other romantically anymore. I can understand your concern though because it probably feels like a kind of threatening situation hanging over your head. I know that's how I'd feel. You're really the only one who can make the determination based on your instincts about what is going on behind the scenes. I would at least tell him that it bothers you which you've probably already done and that should give an indication about how much he values your feelings versus his attachment to his ex-girlfriend. If he seems insensitive to the fact that you find this to be hurtful that would raise a red flag.
He says he will not give up any of his friends for me. i dont consider an ex a friend, but he says he does.
He says he will not give up any of his friends for me. i dont consider an ex a friend, but he says he does.
Then as I stated on my earlier post I would have a problem with that. What he appears to be telling you is that your feelings are of less importance than his friendship with his ex-girlfriend. Good luck with this situation and I hope it works out but I honestly don't think that sounds very good.
Anyone with any common sense know guys dont keep female friends unless
a) they want to have sex with them
b)they want to have sex with their friends
You can argue just friends, pleutonic or whatever all day. its BS
Speak for yourself. Don't include me in your generalizations!
And to the OP, it's not just guys, for goodness sakes. These ex-girlfriends are just as guilty, wouldn't you admit? Why do they continue to talk to their ex-boyfriends?
Personally, I don't think it's a good idea -- not because of the danger (of cheating) involved, but because it often introduces stress into the new relationship.
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