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However, I have also fallen for men that I was not initially physically attracted to. Their personality was attractive which made them attractive to me.
I didn't vote because I can't answer for the opposite sex. I can't even answer for my own gender. I can however say that to me looks are very important. A guy has to be attractive to ME. My version of attractive may differ from numerous other women's views.
I've been reading a lot of these threads and had to create this thread. What is the weighted significance of physical appearance/looks that you have experienced or do you prefer related to gender ?
I'm 29 yrs old male, and my personal experience has been:
Physical attractiveness (as an average) matters to men 80/20. So, 80% emphasis on looks, 20% related to attributes outside of physical attributes.
Physical attractiveness (as an average) matters to women 50/50. So, 50% emphasis on looks, 50% related to attributes outside of physical attributes.
Women examples:
Physical: Height. I read the 'no threads about height' so I'll just make this one point, I've noticed that women are willing to overlook a lot of men's physical flaws including hair loss, but one that they seem to not budge on is height. I have not experienced anything as significant of a deal breaker in terms of physical appearance. Women surprisingly are even willing to bend on a man being 'heavier set' even. Women don't seem to mind men getting older, grey hairs, wrinkles, etc...
Non-Physical: Employment. This is probably the #1 in non-physical, even if a man is attractive, if he is unemployed that will probably be a deal breaker for a lot of women (even if it's not his fault). Another is 'neediness' or 'clingy'. I've heard this so many times how a guy was so needy or clingy after just 1-2 dates and that was it at that point.
Men examples:
Physical attractiveness: Weight. This seems to be a big one, and is for myself included. This probably explains why a very attractive woman who has done nothing physically other than lose excess weight suddenly gets so much attention from men. Another would be face. At least for myself personally, an attractive face>nice body. These are pretty much the big 2. I don't really care about the brand of heels you are wearing, or what brand dress you are wearing even if it costs $1.00...........just how high are the heels and how tight/revealing is the dress...... I think I speak for most men here when I say this lol. Age seem to be another one along with physical attributes that come with it. That's why Demi Moore is 50 yet spending $$$$ trying to look younger.
Non-Physical: I've noticed most men will put up with a lot if the girl is really attractive even for awhile anyway. Employment and even clinginess don't seem to be an issue in the short-term. I would say for this probably constant nagging from the get-go, but judging from some of my friends, they put up with nearly anything...kinda pathetic actually lol.
So anyways, that's my observation. Men: 80/20, Women:50/50.....
I've found that people are pretty much different. You are going to find visual women and you are going to find not so visual men.
Me for example, I am a sucker for a pretty face. However, a woman who I am not initially attracted to (because I am attracted to another one and she could be 10X prettier than the one I am attracted to at that point) will make me fall in love if we share a deep connection. If I feel I can make her happy, I will do everything I can to rock her world.
So overall, looks don't matter. For me, there just has to be that X factor. I guess the best way I can explain it is that if she wants me, I can find something attractive about her, even if she is not all that attractive and then I'm hers.
Me for example, I am a sucker for a pretty face. However, a woman who I am not initially attracted to (because I am attracted to another one and she could be 10X prettier than the one I am attracted to at that point) will make me fall in love if we share a deep connection. If I feel I can make her happy, I will do everything I can to rock her world.
Aww, that's so sweet!
Quote:
Originally Posted by TJenkins602;
So overall, looks don't matter. For me, there just has to be that X factor. I guess the best way I can explain it is that if she wants me, I can find something attractive about her, even if she is not all that attractive and then I'm hers.
Women are able to overlook a lot of men's physical flaws whereas men are so picky about women's skin, breasts appearance and size pretty much everything has to be perfect.
Yeah right, if that was the case men would almost never approach women because they have such high physical standards that couldn't possibly be met. I guess I'm in the minority of men because I'm unattractive myself, but I can find something attractive with well over 50% of women, but to be honest personality is the deciding factor. I would not care to date an attractive woman who can't hold a conversation, for instance. It would be boring.
I think looks matter to everyone (to varying degrees... for some, it's very important, for others not so much). I also think as we get older, most people get more realistic about things and looks matter much less to both genders. Where for a 16-year-old looks might be the most important thing. For a 25-year-old looks take a second seat to compatibility, personality, and other factors. For a 35-year-old looks might take a third or fourth seat, etc. Looks are always a factor... but the importance fades.
I also think both men and women think that looks matter more to the opposite sex than they really do. Especially if you have one of those traits YOU THINK the opposite sex finds unattractive. For example, a woman who feels she has small breasts will think men are judging her for her chest size whether its true or not. A man who's got thinning hair feels women are judging his hair again, whether it's true or not... that sort of thing.
Let's face it, to a degree we all care about looks (unless, like another person said, you don't have vision). But most mature, reasonable adults know that beauty is only skin deep and only goes so far if what's inside (personality, character, values, etc) aren't appealing.
Of course, this is all in terms of relationships not one night stands or hooking up and that sort of thing.
I think looks matter to everyone (to varying degrees... for some, it's very important, for others not so much). I also think as we get older, most people get more realistic about things and looks matter much less to both genders. Where for a 16-year-old looks might be the most important thing. For a 25-year-old looks take a second seat to compatibility, personality, and other factors. For a 35-year-old looks might take a third or fourth seat, etc. Looks are always a factor... but the importance fades.
I also think both men and women think that looks matter more to the opposite sex than they really do. Especially if you have one of those traits YOU THINK the opposite sex finds unattractive. For example, a woman who feels she has small breasts will think men are judging her for her chest size whether its true or not. A man who's got thinning hair feels women are judging his hair again, whether it's true or not... that sort of thing.
Let's face it, to a degree we all care about looks (unless, like another person said, you don't have vision). But most mature, reasonable adults know that beauty is only skin deep and only goes so far if what's inside (personality, character, values, etc) aren't appealing.
Of course, this is all in terms of relationships not one night stands or hooking up and that sort of thing.
I can agree with this for sure, as humans we are all more insecure about certain physical aspects than we should be. My family will worry about losing weight if they are 5 pounds heavier than their ideal, it puts me to shame, because I'm 50 pounds lighter than I should be.
I didn't vote because I can't answer for the opposite sex. I can't even answer for my own gender. I can however say that to me looks are very important. A guy has to be attractive to ME. My version of attractive may differ from numerous other women's views.
It really is this ^^^^^^^ simple, for both genders.
But please, feel free to generalize and over complicate it.
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I am attracted to pretty, intelligent and feminine women. So that leaves me with a very small set of choices. However, looks begin to change dramatically for both men and women after 40. It's all downhill from there if one is not physically active and eating healthy. So the window of opportunity for looks and attraction is usually between 18-35.
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