Why does my girlfriend care about my relationship with my mom? (marriage, women)
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I admitted to this girl I've been seeing for three months that I no longer talk to my mom. I didn't elaborate aside from saying that we had disagreements about some things. I also told her I no longer harbored any animosity towards her, I just have nothing to say to her. My girlfriend is now demanding that I repair my relationship with her or she'll leave. My two questions are why does she care and what should I do?
Last edited by Bromosexual; 08-05-2014 at 07:58 PM..
She cares about your relationship with your mom because it is a reflection of how ultimately may be towards her once you both get settled and advance your relationship with your girlfriend. Also, she probably values family closeness as important for the person she is looking to be in a relationship with. She is hoping you can be that person.
She cares about your relationship with your mom because it is a reflection of how ultimately may be towards her once you both get settled and advance your relationship with your girlfriend. Also, she probably values family closeness as important for the person she is looking to be in a relationship with. She is hoping you can be that person.
I have to agree. It's always said, by a few, that how a man who has severe issues with his mother, could project that anger onto any potential serious partners/ Some are textbook examples, others are not. So, I can't say you are.
But also, family relationships may be close. Like if you 2 get serious and have kids, she doesn't want her children growing up in a family feud where their father doesn't speak to his mother, and in turn, they can't see their grandmother, nor her of her grandchildren.
I think your girlfriend is overstepping her boundaries though. It's only been 3 months, so she has no right to demand you do anything, particularly when she hasn't been given any details. She's not your mother. So, you may need to have a serious talk with her.
1. Tell her about the disagreements. She may understand your side better if she knew the story, and finds that it may not be something trivial. She may think mother knows best, and you're acting childish. But that may not be the case. Even parents can be wrong, or close-minded.
2. Ask her why the issue seems to cause a stir with her. We could only guess, But you know her. We don't. Thus, you can talk to her and get a direct answer, rather than theories.
Then once you both have made your cases, it's up to you both to try and understand one another.
Good girl I say. If she was shallow she wouldn't care. Find out why she is so passionate about your relationship with your mom. Maybe you will gain deeper understanding of this lady and that can only be a good thing.
mothers are underrated. in this day and age of massive divorce and unfair settlements a mom is a good thing.
crimes are usually committed not in public but preferably in private. dont let this woman isolate you.
your mother is not blind and she is a woman. you are in love and not a woman, the only person with open eyes in this game is the one staring at your throat and your mama.
IMO the OP already has repaired his relationship with his mom. He said he no longer harbors animosity toward her, so probably when they do see each other at family gatherings, they get along. What the OP is saying, the way I read it, is that he has no reason to call her daily or weekly, like some women do with their moms. Dudes just don't do that. And if you have nothing to say, why call? If there's no news to convey, what are you going to say? What's the point?
I don't see it as a negative. This is the way a lot of dudes relate to their moms. Low key. And I agree, a new gf shouldn't be bossing you around. She needs to tone it down, and express her desire for you to reach out more to your mom in different terms.
Your unresolved issues with your mom are affecting you in ways you may not be aware of, but your gf may.
She also may be interested for herself in seeing how you work through a major conflict with someone you love.
There is no conflict, i just have nothing to say to her. The falling out was due to her remarriage and my disapproval of it. I've accepted she has a right to do what she wants but that I also have a right to cut myself off from her for making said choice.
IMO the OP already has repaired his relationship with his mom. He said he no longer harbors animosity toward her, so probably when they do see each other at family gatherings, they get along. What the OP is saying, the way I read it, is that he has no reason to call her daily or weekly, like some women do with their moms. Dudes just don't do that. And if you have nothing to say, why call? If there's no news to convey, what are you going to say? What's the point?
I don't see it as a negative. This is the way a lot of dudes relate to their moms. Low key. And I agree, a new gf shouldn't be bossing you around. She needs to tone it down, and express her desire for you to reach out more to your mom in different terms.
No I just don't talk to her period, I simply have no reason to talk to her. In other words I'm done with her. There is no anger and resentment at all.
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