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Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
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Originally Posted by dave0966
Sorry, that's a lame excuse. Even if parents are divorced, more often than not the father still has visitation. Again I say this should not matter. If a person says that are not close with their mother/father I assume there is a very good reason for that and I do not question it.
I would if I was hoping to start a family with them.
I find these types of situations interesting. Why is it that the status of a man's relationship with his mother always used as a litmus to how he will treat other women. Yet how women treat their father is never usually even brought up. If a woman were to say to me that she is not close with her father, I would not question her and/or pressure her to have some type of relationship with her father. I would just assume she has good reason for that and leave it at that. She is an adult and her relationship with her father has no bearing on me. Why can't women just accept this from men? To the OP, I would break it off with her and move on. This is likely just a preview of things to come, she more than likely would try to control other aspects of your relationship. Cut the cord and move on.
Thank you for actually giving me real advice instead of insulting me.
Well I don't have much contact with my mother either, though I have no animosity. I live 1000 miles away and I talk to her maybe once a month. I just don't have much to talk about with her. My parents divorced when I was 11, and like the OP my mother also remarried. My father did not. I've always been closer with my father. I usually talk to him once a week at least. Now by several peoples reasoning here I would probably not be good relationship material. So where do you draw the line?
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,045,818 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by dave0966
So where do you draw the line?
It's an individual question. I've had a relationship end because she came from a big close family, mine is small and not overly close, but we spend holidays, etc together, and communicate regularly. Just not warm and fuzzy. She saw us together and how we relate and decided that she didn't want to marry into our dynamic. That was her choice and I respected it, though it did suck at the time.
I'm very close with my mother and my partner is not at all close with his--he sees her once a year, mostly out of obligation (though to be fair, she lives on another continent and has never liked to travel). I accept that he and I have very different mothers (he likes mine quite a bit, I can't say I care for his too much) and as such, different relationships with them.
That said, your hostility towards her seems extremely disproportionate to the fact that she was a widow who remarried. It's almost as if you are transferring feelings of abandonment towards your father to the living parent. Have you ever sought counseling for this?
I'm very close with my mother and my partner is not at all close with his--he sees her once a year, mostly out of obligation (though to be fair, she lives on another continent and has never liked to travel). I accept that he and I have very different mothers (he likes mine quite a bit, I can't say I care for his too much) and as such, different relationships with them.
That said, your hostility towards her seems extremely disproportionate to the fact that she was a widow who remarried. It's almost as if you are transferring feelings of abandonment towards your father to the living parent. Have you ever sought counseling for this?
no I see no need for it. I have a well paying job, I pay my taxes, have a couple good friend and am a generally happy person. There is no hostility, just indifference, she barely crosses my mind.
While my relationship with my mother is great, I don't have a relationship with my dad at all. In fact, I don't plan on ever speaking to him again. It's nobody's business why and I won't tell them why at all. If a woman demanded I make up with him then it's time for her to move on to another guy. I don't like being told to do things I don't want to do.
Sorry, that's a lame excuse. Even if parents are divorced, more often than not the father still has visitation. Again I say this should not matter. If a person says that are not close with their mother/father I assume there is a very good reason for that and I do not question it.
Exactly! People need to mind their own business on matters that don't concern them.
Location: RI, MA, VT, WI, IL, CA, IN (that one sucked), KY
41,936 posts, read 37,045,818 times
Reputation: 40635
Quote:
Originally Posted by 49ersfan27
Exactly! People need to mind their own business on matters that don't concern them.
If I'm considering getting serious with someone, or especially marrying them, it does concern me. How they related to everyone, from family and friends, to the waiter/waitress, concerns me. It should.
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