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Perhaps they sense your desperation as your nine-year-old arbitrary deadline is fast approaching.
If your suicide pact with yourself is serious, then you need to seek help. If instead, it is just a poor joke, I suggest you focus on finding ways to be happy alone before pursuing companionship.
NYC is a terrible dating environment. It's worse for women (I have a friend that is perfectly lovely and has lived there for a decade with no meaningful relationships; another successful and attractive friend moved to SF and has seen a world of difference). However, it's not good for either gender really. I think it's got something to do with so many people packed into such a small area, it's hard to find the right people. There is a certain type of personality that does well there, but a lot of people just fail to thrive socially/romantically there.
What red-flagged me about you was the fact that you in some seriousness said you would kill yourself if you didn't have a girlfriend by 30. Dude, that's just some serious drama queen stuff if you were even halfway serious. Anybody with half an ounce of sense is gonna run at the first whiff of that. And nobody wants to be with someone who isn't happy single - because that means any relationship is going to have the burden of supporting his happiness.
I look at the excuses your friends give you and I'd have to say they're dancing around something else. Because if you were mostly ok, they would be telling you you were fine. Plus, the "can't relate to women" item is a bit weird to me. Do you not have any female friends? I couldn't relate to men - at the age of 21. So I went out and fixed that. Now at least 50% of my friends are male.
Two pages of thread and you haven't said anything about going to a therapist. Maybe it's time to do that.
NYC is a terrible dating environment. It's worse for women (I have a friend that is perfectly lovely and has lived there for a decade with no meaningful relationships; another successful and attractive friend moved to SF and has seen a world of difference). However, it's not good for either gender really. I think it's got something to do with so many people packed into such a small area, it's hard to find the right people. There is a certain type of personality that does well there, but a lot of people just fail to thrive socially/romantically there.
What red-flagged me about you was the fact that you in some seriousness said you would kill yourself if you didn't have a girlfriend by 30. Dude, that's just some serious drama queen stuff if you were even halfway serious. Anybody with half an ounce of sense is gonna run at the first whiff of that. And nobody wants to be with someone who isn't happy single - because that means any relationship is going to have the burden of supporting his happiness.
I look at the excuses your friends give you and I'd have to say they're dancing around something else. Because if you were mostly ok, they would be telling you you were fine. Plus, the "can't relate to women" item is a bit weird to me. Do you not have any female friends? I couldn't relate to men - at the age of 21. So I went out and fixed that. Now at least 50% of my friends are male.
Two pages of thread and you haven't said anything about going to a therapist. Maybe it's time to do that.
Pretty much I agree with this 100%. I would also add that even if you are half serious about the killing yourself thing, really, women are just people like you getting by in this world. Why kill yourself over some other random person you don't even know. Learn to love yourself first (which JrzDefector pretty much covers in the post above). See a therapist.
As someone who has had his share of GF's it ain't all that. Full of ups and downs and some big ups and some big downs. Just another complete rookie thinking a girl will solve all his problems and he will be forever happy. The grass is always greener.
Learn to love yourself, before worrying too much about a GF.
NYC is a terrible dating environment. It's worse for women (I have a friend that is perfectly lovely and has lived there for a decade with no meaningful relationships; another successful and attractive friend moved to SF and has seen a world of difference). However, it's not good for either gender really. I think it's got something to do with so many people packed into such a small area, it's hard to find the right people. There is a certain type of personality that does well there, but a lot of people just fail to thrive socially/romantically there.
And there I was, about to tell him to move to Alphabet City because it is infested with hipsters, and his runty little chick (why are they so short?) will be there. She may have bedbugs, but she'll be there.
Killing yourself because you don't have a girlfriend....
Is the struggle of being single this real? Jeez.....you know that is not the answer. You need to work on yourself mentally more than physically right now. Taking yourself out of this world because you don't have a girlfriend. Don't you see how ridiculous that sounds? Forget about having a girlfriend and work on yourself. You have to love yourself before loving anyone else.
and there i was, about to tell him to move to alphabet city because it is infested with hipsters, and his runty little chick (why are they so short?) will be there. She may have bedbugs, but she'll be there.
lmao
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