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Old 08-12-2014, 11:13 AM
 
14,375 posts, read 18,377,781 times
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2 and 3 are the real dealbreakers.

That's potentially personality-disorder-level stuff.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:21 AM
 
53 posts, read 68,071 times
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Thank you for your feedback
I will proceed with the second date with some caution. This is the first woman I see after my divorce. With her possible narcissistic tendencies, she may not be a good fit for me. I want some body who are confident but more humble and can relate to people. Someone that accepts my flaws and I don't have to be perfect all the time. I don't know but lately I see a lot of people flaunting on Facebook, is there a trend of increasing narcissistic behaviors in our society?
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:35 AM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,423 posts, read 1,394,634 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I only see a man who is letting his anxiety rule his life.

Breathe man, just breathe.

Just continue getting to know her before you decide to make snap judgements about her ok? For all you know, she is really nervous too an just running on at the mouth.

Slow the pace down a bit, no need to be in such a rush rush hurry to do anything.

Whether or not she is "the one" will reveal itself to you in time. Just guard your heart until that time.
Great advice. We should all do this, but often our expectations are our own worst enemies.
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Old 08-12-2014, 11:55 AM
 
53 posts, read 68,071 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by skywalker2014 View Post
Great advice. We should all do this, but often our expectations are our own worst enemies.
Very true.
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Old 08-12-2014, 12:41 PM
 
Location: SF Bay Area
13,520 posts, read 22,134,708 times
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I think it's too soon to worry about these potential mismatches in character/personality.
You've simply just identified some areas that may need further examination in future dates.
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Old 08-12-2014, 01:43 PM
 
53 posts, read 68,071 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jaypee View Post
I think it's too soon to worry about these potential mismatches in character/personality.
You've simply just identified some areas that may need further examination in future dates.


True, I think I worry a little too much. Since she is so excited, I worry about hurting her.
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Old 08-12-2014, 02:00 PM
 
1,226 posts, read 1,449,745 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamesOCguy View Post
Thank you for your feedback
I will proceed with the second date with some caution. This is the first woman I see after my divorce. With her possible narcissistic tendencies, she may not be a good fit for me. I want some body who are confident but more humble and can relate to people. Someone that accepts my flaws and I don't have to be perfect all the time. I don't know but lately I see a lot of people flaunting on Facebook, is there a trend of increasing narcissistic behaviors in our society?
LOL. Then she definitely is not right for you. So why even bother with 2nd date? She's definitely not humble bragging about her 'awesomeness' and you don't even know if it's true.

And she definitely can't relate to people if her friends and co-workers are all oh so jealous of her awesomeness.

Reminds me of this line:

Start at 1:31:


Mean Girls (8/10) Movie CLIP - A Lot of Feelings (2004) HD - YouTube


I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me, but I can't help that I'm popular...

LOL! Love that line but really is not that funny with this chick.
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Old 08-13-2014, 08:41 AM
 
Location: PANAMA
1,423 posts, read 1,394,634 times
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I think we date people we don't really like as a potential partner because we don't want to be alone.

This is more true (I think) for men, since women usually get by fine by themselves without a man, for a long period of time.
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Old 08-13-2014, 09:16 AM
 
Location: NYC
5,210 posts, read 4,672,866 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jamesOCguy View Post
I joined a dating website and after a month, I met a woman last Sunday and we are looking forward for a second date this coming Friday but I find myself very anxious. There was an instant attraction between us and we both think that each other look better in person. We talked for over 2 hours. Both of us are extremely satisfied with our careers. She has been texting me many messages since. It is happening at a faster pace than I like. If I am just looking for a hook-up then this is a perfect opportunity but I am looking for a serious relationship. Last night I wasn’t able to sleep well trying to identify what make me feel anxious. I think I have identified a few things that she said during our first date that I might have overlooked at that time because of the excitement but now I may be bothered by them:

1. In her profile she states that she has a nice career, nice house, and a nice car.
2. We are both successful with our careers, but she kept repeating that her coworkers are jealous of her because of her talent and success.
3. She mentioned that she has lost some gal friends because she would be the center of attention all the time.
4. Her mom and sister and brother live in a different state. I thought she was mocking her 69 year-old mom, by repeating her mom’s pleading in our native language, for trying to setup a family reunion. She didn’t join her family because that wasn’t what she wanted to do.

What do you think? Am I being too cautious because I am divorced or you see real red flags? I feel that with her I may have to stay perfect or she will criticize me.
Something about her attracted you to her but yet you didn't mention any of those. All I'm hearing is how her confidence is laying bare your innate insecurities. Yes I do agree you should find someone more meek and with esteem issues and leave these confident women to confident men.
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Old 08-13-2014, 10:01 AM
 
33,387 posts, read 34,847,766 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Memphis1979 View Post
Well first off, a good first meeting is fine. Don't be overtaken by a 2 hour conversation with a stranger, they know nothing about you, you know nothing about them, I assume you have at least 30 years of life between the two of you. Conversation should flow nicely for at least the first two to three dates.

Go for it, date the woman, have some fun. I could be wrong, but maybe she is trying to show you that she doesn't need a man to take care of her. This is a big plus for me, because I want to take care of no woman again, we need to be a team.

I have no idea what any of the 4 points mean, they just sound like conversation. I tell people I meet for the first time that I have a big house and a nice career. Thats just what people talk about.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lovesMountains View Post
I only see a man who is letting his anxiety rule his life.

Breathe man, just breathe.

Just continue getting to know her before you decide to make snap judgements about her ok? For all you know, she is really nervous too an just running on at the mouth.

Slow the pace down a bit, no need to be in such a rush rush hurry to do anything.

Whether or not she is "the one" will reveal itself to you in time. Just guard your heart until that time.
very good advice from these two. go ahead and have some fun dating her. something may develop, or not, but unless you go in with an open mind and an open heart you will never know what might be.

Quote:
Originally Posted by VanillaChocolate View Post
She seems very stuck on herself. It's good to be confident, but she's arrogant, and thinks girls hate on her, when in truth, she's a snob. Nobody wants to be around a snob that thinks they're perfect and others are all jealous, or wanting to get with them.

She's like a girl I know. She has no girl friends, because she states girls don't give her a chance because of how she looks. And that being attractive ruins her life because of that, and the fact men want her for sex-calling herself a heartthrob. And constantly bragging about being in Law School-that she got a C- in for failing an exam. lol She's sleeping with a man with a girlfriend, and talks about he needs to see what a catch she is, and how much better she is than his girlfriend who's fat, and stupid.

As many tell her, it's not her looks. her personality sucks. Which she didn't want to hear.

This makes a person look very horrible, and vain. Acting this way, it's no surprise they wouldn't have a high affinity.

People like this are either genuinely arrogant, or very insecure and trying to play up what can be seen as good qualities, which results in them bragging on themselves to hide it, and maybe convince themselves of their self-worth.

Your girl sounds like the girl I know. And yeah, in addition to arrogant, she does sound selfish.
not having met the women in question, in person, i dont know if she is just being confident, or being a jerk. only time with her will tell for sure. be watchful for signs of her being a controlling jerk. i have known people who are extremely confident in themselves with good reason, and that some people around them are jealous because of it. i also know people that are confident in themselves for no good reason, and the people around them are not jealous but rather disgusted with them. only time will tell.
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