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This is a creepy one but most of my online dating profiles have been deleted or at least don't have photos. I state I'm not looking as I have someone but have the profile often for things like the forums, etc. I did have my photo on OkCupid but rarely got messages so I didn't give it much thought. Lately I've been getting messages and have been honest with these men. Today I had several friend requests on Facebook and I found out they found me via OkCupid, probably with my photo. I deleted my photo on this site now but feel freaked out. I know, I shouldn't have been on dating sites but like I said I rarely got messages and kept forgetting about it.
People who exhibit these tendencies have boundary issues. They seem to know how to target their victims pretty well.
They usually target those who they feel they can violate their boundaries with, because they're friendly and to them, appear lenient.
Maybe you appear very friendly and likeable as a person, and don't seem standoffish so when these people see you and try to find you on Facebook, they're in their creepy wierdo zone and do things that are out of the ordinary, hoping to bait someone. Wouldn't be surprised if they do this to multiple women, and they probably assume these women find it flattering like it's a missed once in a lifetime connection.
Even if you have your privacy good and locked down on FB, it shows every time you changed your profile pic and the pic itself, just FYI, unless there is another setting for that. It does not fall into having only your friends see your profile, though.
I find it's best to think in certain absolutes, with solid boundaries around certain things. So I have a friend who doesn't trust any of this, so he doesn't put any pics of himself online, does not have a FB, or any other social media platform...anything requiring personally identifying info, forget it! But he's a pretty serious conspiracy theorist and thinks that the government would come and get him because of his opinions...so...yeah. I, on the other hand, am very open and transparent online. I take the "nothing much to hide" road. I freely talk about all kinds of things, I'm not worried about stalkers, I have the same or similar pics and even usernames for many different sites. And I often wind up friending people cross-platform, though not yet on FB from OKC or others. My hard boundary is explicit photos or video. I just don't trust it, at all. I have not met anyone I really trusted with it. Files could be lost, or stolen. Nope. I just don't even have such pics/vids taken in the first place.
If I'm getting into something with someone...I've seen them a few times, talked a bunch, and we may become intimate...I do search them up and research them, mostly to fact-check things they tell me about themselves, to make sure I've got a good idea of their actual background. It's as much for my own safety as anything else. I've even done criminal background checks on people, especially if they were going to be in my home or around my kids.
As for stalkers though, people I don't want in my life trying to find me or something...I wish them luck. I tend to draw protective men...even the well armed ex that everyone thought was dangerous to me would LOVE the opportunity to defend me with his life, even now. I don't worry about it.
People who exhibit these tendencies have boundary issues. They seem to know how to target their victims pretty well.
They usually target those who they feel they can violate their boundaries with, because they're friendly and to them, appear lenient.
Maybe you appear very friendly and likeable as a person, and don't seem standoffish so when these people see you and try to find you on Facebook, they're in their creepy wierdo zone and do things that are out of the ordinary, hoping to bait someone. Wouldn't be surprised if they do this to multiple women, and they probably assume these women find it flattering like it's a missed once in a lifetime connection.
That's part of it I think. Even when I rejected men I was polite and these men thought it was a maybe. As of now I just delete the requests. If he contacts me I'll tell him off.
Okay an update. I get online and find another friend request by the same guy I told before I have a boyfriend. I deleted it and he immediately friend requested me again. I'm freaking out to be honest. I changed my Facebook to a photo of one of my favorite shows but even so, months after I told him I found someone and told him I never friend anyone from dating sites he does it again.
Can't you block this dude from sending your a request? I thought you could on Facebook. They redid their privacy settings.
Well no one found me on facebook and to make sure I try to search for my own facebook on Google and it never comes up. Plus I don't share my last name right away which would make it easy for someone to locate you.
This is a creepy one but most of my online dating profiles have been deleted or at least don't have photos. I state I'm not looking as I have someone but have the profile often for things like the forums, etc. I did have my photo on OkCupid but rarely got messages so I didn't give it much thought. Lately I've been getting messages and have been honest with these men. Today I had several friend requests on Facebook and I found out they found me via OkCupid, probably with my photo. I deleted my photo on this site now but feel freaked out. I know, I shouldn't have been on dating sites but like I said I rarely got messages and kept forgetting about it.
Using Google images people can do a web search for a photo image and see what other sites it shows up on. So if you have the same photo on a dating profile as you do on Facebook people can do an image search using some of your OLD profile pics and it will match to the same photos on Facebook.
This is a creepy one but most of my online dating profiles have been deleted or at least don't have photos. I state I'm not looking as I have someone but have the profile often for things like the forums, etc. I did have my photo on OkCupid but rarely got messages so I didn't give it much thought. Lately I've been getting messages and have been honest with these men. Today I had several friend requests on Facebook and I found out they found me via OkCupid, probably with my photo. I deleted my photo on this site now but feel freaked out. I know, I shouldn't have been on dating sites but like I said I rarely got messages and kept forgetting about it.
Have you seen the T.V show "Cat Fish?"
You would be amazed at how easy it is to find/copy someone on social media.
That's part of it I think. Even when I rejected men I was polite and these men thought it was a maybe. As of now I just delete the requests. If he contacts me I'll tell him off.
Enjoying the thought of some unsuspecting guy about to have the Full Weight of Iddy's irritation descend on him....!
This is a creepy one but most of my online dating profiles have been deleted or at least don't have photos. I state I'm not looking as I have someone but have the profile often for things like the forums, etc. I did have my photo on OkCupid but rarely got messages so I didn't give it much thought. Lately I've been getting messages and have been honest with these men. Today I had several friend requests on Facebook and I found out they found me via OkCupid, probably with my photo. I deleted my photo on this site now but feel freaked out. I know, I shouldn't have been on dating sites but like I said I rarely got messages and kept forgetting about it.
You sign up for that when you use Facebook. Of course, they LIE and say it's not true, that they don't share your information/photos with anyone, but I know for a FACT they do.
I've had many men, 'following me' on FB, who I have never met nor do I ever plan to meet! Some are even married and one just recently lost his wife to cancer! The ONLY way they found me is via FB, as I have not used a dating website for more than 10 yrs.
I finally got one of them, who lives in Ireland, to tell me he saw my picture posted, as an advertisement on FB for 'single women like THIS, looking for good men here'. One of those sidebar ads...and I have NEVER given my permission to anyone AT Facebook to use any of my pictures, profile info etc! I am in my 60s and NOT looking to date again...ever.
I immediately BLOCK those men who randomly 'follow' me....you'd think they might ASK first??? It IS creepy! But Facebook has your and my facial features down to the millimeter and they can use it for any kind of facial recognition that they choose to in the future, should need be. It's written into their TOS.
Best you can do IF you like using FB is turn OFF as many of the SECURITY parts on there as possible....then make sure to RECHECK them every month...as FB has them as your 'default' and any time they make changes on FB, your security settings revert BACK to the way FB WANTS them!
Big Brother AND Facebook are WATCHING!
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You sign up for that when you use Facebook. Of course, they LIE and say it's not true, that they don't share your information/photos with anyone, but I know for a FACT they do.
The ONLY way they found me is via FB, as I have not used a dating website for more than 10 yrs. 
