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So pizza was for dinner. We went to a restaraunt in the next couple of towns over. Haven't been there since.... HS
Pizza was really good.
A, after we were done, told the waitress that we would need a box. I just sat and smiled. So grown up...
L says Mommy, I see that smile.
None of yesterdays feelings surfaced today, that was a good thing, because yesterday was no fun at all.
D2D, I have been out of a real relationship for so long. It feels like years. I cannot remember when the relationship was a loving one, or when the last time I felt loved, within that relationship even was.
Not a good way to feel. But, that not too good of a way to feel is gone now.
Of course, as you may have already read before, once I'm married later this year, I will be reduced to a closet coffee drinker. Except for the de-caf that she believes will cause us to live to be about 150 years old! But at work, in the lab, I will consume vast quanties of the real deal. After all, our home may be HER castle, but the lab at work will be MINE! Take care, and have a great day!
Gee Dennis58, do I already detect marital coffee troubles "brewing" for you?
Quote:
D2D, I have been out of a real relationship for so long. It feels like years. I cannot remember when the relationship was a loving one, or when the last time I felt loved, within that relationship even was.
Not a good way to feel. But, that not too good of a way to feel is gone now.
And now, I feel good.
Sometimes just a little silent prayer can remind us about the "big guy upstairs" and help us to get through those daily rough spots. What else is one to do?
Glad you're feeling better today and glad you're not worried about the down feelings. They are normal. As someone else said above - your life has completely changed since the summer. You know you're blessed and that will get you through the blues!
We love ya!!
You know, call me crazy, but up until today, I thought he at least cares about the kids.
A has been stressed out feeling, with the whole situation. Stressed with some anger, not doing as well as usual in school.
I talked to him about counseling and he does not want to go. I told him that ultimately I will make the decision, this was last night.
So, this morning I left a vm on his phone, need to talk, call me back please, re the kids.
He called me back at the busiest time of the day, right before lunch when all of the drs pts were coming up to my desk.
Told him I had to call him back. I did... I told him that as the kids parents I felt we needed to come together, the both of us and talk about how they are feeling, their behaviors.
Then I felt we needed to talk to the kids together, and also get together with calanders to get all the dates figured out.
He laughed at me. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.I asked if he was busy tomorrow. Yes, he has plans. Sunday.. he has plans. Tuesday afternoon, no he has an appt.
I let him know it didn't seem like it really mattered to him and I would take care of it myself, without him.
He just laughed.
Click. The nurse practicioner was at the desk across from me, and she said he sounds like a real jerk. Sounds like my ex husband, she says... like the reason we are divorced, she says.
I sit there and say I can't believe he doesn't even care about the kids, like it doesn't even matter.
Then I think about him always saying everything is always my fault, so I figure he thinks this is my fault and I should take care of it.
Then I say, I don't know why I would be surprized. That I can't believe it. No. I can believe it.
Today is the very first time in all of this that I have thought or said that he does not deserve to be those kids father.
never before until today. And that is exactly how I felt this afternoon. he doesn't not deserve them.
A came to me tonight and said mommy I can talk to a therapist. He had talked to him and told him it wouldn't hurt, and if it didn't help he didn't have to go anymore.
A is very influenced by him. Said he had a terrible day today, and therapy could not be worse than his day today.
He didn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve them.
I cannot even stand that I am saying that..... it makes me feel bad, but as of today, it is how I feel.
Today i made all of front desks calls for Monday. Because I am a good team player. I was accused of not being a team player.
So, inbetween trying to do my stuff, I did that. Then at the end of the day put in charges too.
Not a problem.
AOM OM nad front desk, obviously with nothing to do, plenty of time to chat the day away.
FD can't find a chart, knows I did something with it, one of the drs needed it the other day to complete dictation, and a lady was here today to do a chart audit.
That is where the chart was. She looks for some last minute charts that were not pulled, says, they aren't coming anyway, we don't need the chart.
Yesterday I turned in a slip to leave early on the 13th for an appt for L. This dr is not in the office on my half days, and he is the one who rx her meds.
Today I get the form back saying no, underlined 3x, we need covereage for the office, sch for a different day.
I ask her when she thinks I should sch it, he is not in on Tuesdays. She says do it on a thurs and I will cover your desk.
OK, I call, nothing til mid March.
They can squeeze her in next thurs. ok, take it.
When I speak to patients, I am happy talking with them, what am I supposed to be all mean acting ont he phone with them?
FD says you are sounding too happy on the phone with them.
OMG
The other day called into the office with aom and om. My work is slacking. Yes thank you.
When we are doing everyone elses work, we don't have the time for our own.
You know, call me crazy, but up until today, I thought he at least cares about the kids.
A has been stressed out feeling, with the whole situation. Stressed with some anger, not doing as well as usual in school.
I talked to him about counseling and he does not want to go. I told him that ultimately I will make the decision, this was last night.
So, this morning I left a vm on his phone, need to talk, call me back please, re the kids.
He called me back at the busiest time of the day, right before lunch when all of the drs pts were coming up to my desk.
Told him I had to call him back. I did... I told him that as the kids parents I felt we needed to come together, the both of us and talk about how they are feeling, their behaviors.
Then I felt we needed to talk to the kids together, and also get together with calanders to get all the dates figured out.
He laughed at me. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.I asked if he was busy tomorrow. Yes, he has plans. Sunday.. he has plans. Tuesday afternoon, no he has an appt.
I let him know it didn't seem like it really mattered to him and I would take care of it myself, without him.
He just laughed.
Click. The nurse practicioner was at the desk across from me, and she said he sounds like a real jerk. Sounds like my ex husband, she says... like the reason we are divorced, she says.
I sit there and say I can't believe he doesn't even care about the kids, like it doesn't even matter.
Then I think about him always saying everything is always my fault, so I figure he thinks this is my fault and I should take care of it.
Then I say, I don't know why I would be surprized. That I can't believe it. No. I can believe it.
Today is the very first time in all of this that I have thought or said that he does not deserve to be those kids father.
never before until today. And that is exactly how I felt this afternoon. he doesn't not deserve them.
A came to me tonight and said mommy I can talk to a therapist. He had talked to him and told him it wouldn't hurt, and if it didn't help he didn't have to go anymore.
A is very influenced by him. Said he had a terrible day today, and therapy could not be worse than his day today.
He didn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve them.
I cannot even stand that I am saying that..... it makes me feel bad, but as of today, it is how I feel.
Robyn, the kids are going to find out how he is by his actions. What he does and doesn't do, will clearly reflect who he is, and what role he plays in their lives. A. could really use a strong male role model in his life. Glad A is willing to go to therapy.
You know, call me crazy, but up until today, I thought he at least cares about the kids.
A has been stressed out feeling, with the whole situation. Stressed with some anger, not doing as well as usual in school.
I talked to him about counseling and he does not want to go. I told him that ultimately I will make the decision, this was last night.
So, this morning I left a vm on his phone, need to talk, call me back please, re the kids.
He called me back at the busiest time of the day, right before lunch when all of the drs pts were coming up to my desk.
Told him I had to call him back. I did... I told him that as the kids parents I felt we needed to come together, the both of us and talk about how they are feeling, their behaviors.
Then I felt we needed to talk to the kids together, and also get together with calanders to get all the dates figured out.
He laughed at me. He said he had no idea what I was talking about.I asked if he was busy tomorrow. Yes, he has plans. Sunday.. he has plans. Tuesday afternoon, no he has an appt.
I let him know it didn't seem like it really mattered to him and I would take care of it myself, without him.
He just laughed.
Click. The nurse practicioner was at the desk across from me, and she said he sounds like a real jerk. Sounds like my ex husband, she says... like the reason we are divorced, she says.
I sit there and say I can't believe he doesn't even care about the kids, like it doesn't even matter.
Then I think about him always saying everything is always my fault, so I figure he thinks this is my fault and I should take care of it.
Then I say, I don't know why I would be surprized. That I can't believe it. No. I can believe it.
Today is the very first time in all of this that I have thought or said that he does not deserve to be those kids father.
never before until today. And that is exactly how I felt this afternoon. he doesn't not deserve them.
A came to me tonight and said mommy I can talk to a therapist. He had talked to him and told him it wouldn't hurt, and if it didn't help he didn't have to go anymore.
A is very influenced by him. Said he had a terrible day today, and therapy could not be worse than his day today.
He didn't deserve me. He doesn't deserve them.
I cannot even stand that I am saying that..... it makes me feel bad, but as of today, it is how I feel.
How sad Robyn. It appears that he really does not care for them. I gave him too much credit when I believed that he would at least love his kids. It should have been apparent to me when I read how he treated L as opposed to A.
He is a selfish, pimple of a man that is cruel beyond measure. All the more reason that you should feel so good about leaving his azz and striking out on your own in the House of Chimes.
It saddens me to hear this, but all the more reason you should feel so good about leaving this son of a b*tch.
And I do. It has been a hard road, alone, but I am so happy and proud of what I did, do, continue to do... or try my best, at least.
Yesterday marked 5 months since the day I left shackles. On the nose.
Yes, I felt that yesterday, and it hurt to feel that. That he doesn't even deserve to be their father...
I had truly never thought this before. You know, I felt, maybe he just needs time, he needs to figure his life out.
But to just laugh on the situation. To not MAKE time for what is important in his childrens life.
No. I have plans. Plans that day too. Haha
*********r plans. If I had plans, they would just be out the window,, because your children are more important than any plans you may have.
Is it hurting me that you have plans? No. More power to you and your plans, but when they interfere with your kids... thats another thing.
Now, he wanted me to take a day off of work to do taxes with him. Now, those are just plans I could not break... ya think? And for him... me to miss a whole day of work? Yea, like I can afford that.
He is my wasband, he is a has been.
I am sorry, friends, for my attitude yesterday and today. I try my best to take the utmost high road that I can.
I feel like feeling this way, I am straying a little from that road. I feel like we must give every person credit.
But then again, give credit where credit is due comes to mind. it is just not due, and I have come to realize it now, that is all.
I am sorry if anyone thinks I have become offensive....
More on the lines, I have become defensive.
I hope everyone has a great day, I am off to get my car inspected and the oil changed, and all kinds of other super happy fun stuff!!!
It sounds as if you are pitching in when asked at work to the detriment of your regular responsibilities. Maybe the next time your OM or AOM ask you to help in another area, say, "well, I stil have to do XYZ, which would you like me to do first?" I don't mean to throw it in their face, just let them make the decision re: prioritizing your work. Being caught in ther middle like that is not uncommon. And you are so conscientious, that you have just been complying with their requests. But when there is too much on your plate, letting the OM/AOM decide what gets pushed to the edge, helps make them accountable for what gets done. Puts the monkey on their back.
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