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I've tried asking random women at places like that and the responses ranged from "thanks, but I'm taken" to "no, thanks, not interested." Conversations about random things usually peter out within 5 minutes - I'm horrible at small talk and always have been.
It wasn't horrible being rejected and quite frankly when you get older it hardly matters at all, so I agree that fear is overblown, but I just didn't see the point - the chances are low that a woman you see at the store is available and/or interested. I suppose the chances are zero if you don't try, but like I said, I've only had success in the random approach when the woman initiates contact of some sort first. She doesn't have to be blatant but it has to be something - if she mentions something... ANYTHING to me and makes eye contact than I'm much more sure she's a date opportunity.
With OLD there are fake and dead profiles, but as for the real ones you know that the women are actively seeking a boyfriend or relationship of some sort.
Quote:
Originally Posted by latino_esq
I disagree to a certain extent. I think guys psyche themselves most of the time based on unreasonable and imagined assumptions that creates a fear of rejection and good excuse for not approaching someone. The often cited excuses start from a woman's looks (she's too hot, gets approached so much that she doesn't want to be bothered, or she looks like a *****), to other excuses such as she's busy, wants to be left alone, etc. At the end of the day it is the fear of rejection that stands as a barrier to making an approach, and this fear is typically unreasonable.
It is an unreasonable fear because most of the time, a rejection is hardly ever as bad as imagined. A rejection is usually never worse than a private embarrassment for the guy. Unless you do something really stupid, a woman is not going to lash out or publicly humiliate you. I have met many many women in my time through cold approaches and I have never been publicly humiliated or scolded by any of them. Logic tells me that there should have been a percentage of them that wanted to be left alone at the time. But even the anti-social, "leave me alone" types usually reject in a rather friendly manner or, at worst, by ignoring you.
To answer the OPs question: while I do think online dating is going to gain in popularity, I'm pretty certain that at some point it is going to become over saturated with guys to the point where it's going to be a hassle for these guys to deal with. By the way some posters talk about online dating today, that is already happening. Traditional dating will never be outdated as there will always be real men that approach women that they are attracted to (yes, I'm refering to these guys as real men) and don't have to defer to the cheaper alternative of finding a mate.
Meeting new people and increasing your chances of finding the one (which can be implied by the question) are completely different. For meeting new people online is great, for a solid, long-term relationship I still think meeting people through connections or by chance in public is better.
It wasn't horrible being rejected and quite frankly when you get older it hardly matters at all, so I agree that fear is overblown, but I just didn't see the point - the chances are low that a woman you see at the store is available and/or interested.
To me, the essence of the matter isn't "fear", but disaffection with needlessly importuning someone. I don't fear negotiating aggressively in a car-dealership, and am entirely willing to leave if my offer isn't accepted. The same holds for buying used cars on Craigslist. But I would never walk up to the owner of some random car that I saw in a parking lot, which has no "for sale" sign displayed, and start yelling "Hey buddy, I want to buy your car; how much?"
In Online dating, it's obvious that people are "selling". The price might be a matter of contention, and an offer might by summarily rejected. But at least there's an understanding of desire to make a sale. In real life, there is no presumption that a sale is offered.
Last edited by ohio_peasant; 12-10-2014 at 10:37 PM..
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