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Why are you still wasting 2 seconds on this woman. A drunk and an a**hole. Don't waste any more time. She's just using and abusing you and will not change.
And don't buy the BS that this because she is a sales person. I was in sales for 14 years and knew all kinds of salesmen. Most can turn it off and turn it on. Only one I knew never did, and he was a lot like your gf, a flirt and a drunk. He was divorce twice and had a fb in every town.
Why are you still wasting 2 seconds on this woman. A drunk and an a**hole. Don't waste any more time. She's just using and abusing you and will not change.
you need to sit her down, and tell her how this bothers you. in the end however dont try to change her much, just get her to reign in her enthusiasm to a more comfortable level around you.
Ha Ha , good one. Asking a tiger to change its stripes .....
Like others have said, the first red flag was that she asked you to leave the bar. The second is it sounds like she has a significant alcohol problem. Both flags on their own, never mind together, are enough to get out of this situation, and fast.
Yes I am still here. Thanks for the advice. Pretty much what I already knew, I guess I just needed to hear it from someone else that I was wasting my time. No, the flirty, drinking, bad obnoxious behavior did not attract me at all. Never saw it until months into the relationship because I am not a bar person and when we went out she was low-key at first. I am sure she is bi-polar on top of everything else, due to mood swings and other signs.
What attracted me was the fact that not only was she very attractive, but she was smart, could hold a conversation longer than five minutes, very independent and financially stable and *I thought* had a great personality. After being married for over 20 years and thrust back into the dating scene, I found these rare commodities.
If you aren't currently in the dating scene, it is TOUGH to find someone with the qualities you are looking for these days when you are a 50 year old. Unless you meet someone through work or a friend, you have to rely on on-line dating or the bar scene. Call me old fashioned but bars are not a good place to find a long term mate, and after many dates from online sites, I have found most women there to be professional online daters, or women with issues. In my experience I bought a lot of meals and found no compatibility, but there are a lot of women on there looking for hit it and quit it sex. Just not my thing.
I guess this is why I was hanging on to this one, cause I thought she was a keeper. Yes, long time single habits are hard to break. She has made great strides to be a better girlfriend and has cut bak big time on the drinking, flirting etc, but there are still those occasional times it gets ugly. I was kind of hoping it would all work it's way oput fo her system, but as some have mentioned, she may be to set in her ways or not want to change.
Thanks for the good advice and to those with the wise cracks, I hope you never find yourself in this situation.
Location: IN>Germany>ND>OH>TX>CA>Currently NoVa and a Vacation Lake House in PA
3,259 posts, read 4,342,926 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom Jones17
What attracted me was the fact that not only was she very attractive, but she was smart, could hold a conversation longer than five minutes, very independent and financially stable and *I thought* had a great personality. After being married for over 20 years and thrust back into the dating scene, I found these rare commodities.
If you aren't currently in the dating scene, it is TOUGH to find someone with the qualities you are looking for these days when you are a 50 year old. Unless you meet someone through work or a friend, you have to rely on on-line dating or the bar scene. Call me old fashioned but bars are not a good place to find a long term mate, and after many dates from online sites, I have found most women there to be professional online daters, or women with issues. In my experience I bought a lot of meals and found no compatibility, but there are a lot of women on there looking for hit it and quit it sex. Just not my thing.
I guess this is why I was hanging on to this one, cause I thought she was a keeper. Yes, long time single habits are hard to break. She has made great strides to be a better girlfriend and has cut bak big time on the drinking, flirting etc, but there are still those occasional times it gets ugly. I was kind of hoping it would all work it's way oput fo her system, but as some have mentioned, she may be to set in her ways or not want to change.
Thanks for the good advice and to those with the wise cracks, I hope you never find yourself in this situation.
I feel your pain and was dating in my late 40s after 20 years of marriage as well. I got married this year at 50 and feel very lucky to have found the right woman for me. It is very easy to settle, and at a couple of points I nearly did as well. Hang in there and expand your possibilities with online dating and have fun. In time you'll find someone that wants to be with you and isn't as emotionally damaged as this woman appears to be. I'm so lucky to have the love of my wife, and I do know what you're going through is tough.
I feel your pain and was dating in my late 40s after 20 years of marriage as well. I got married this year at 50 and feel very lucky to have found the right woman for me. It is very easy to settle, and at a couple of points I nearly did as well. Hang in there and expand your possibilities with online dating and have fun. In time you'll find someone that wants to be with you and isn't as emotionally damaged as this woman appears to be. I'm so lucky to have the love of my wife, and I do know what you're going through is tough.
Some people are ok with that, some aren't. Don't expect her to change. Just have to decide whether or not you can deal.
Personally, I couldn't date someone like that.
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